How do I deal with finding out my boyfriend subscribed to women’s only fans?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I live together and we have a child. I just found out my boyfriend has been paying to subscribe to women’s only fans and hid it well for 5 months. I’m very hurt and I feel disgusted as I’ve read the messages and seen the pictures... one girl he subscribed to was a girl he went to school with. I don’t know how to go about this since I’m extremely hurt and disgusted and I can’t see him the same way now... he’ll be living with his parent while I calm down and have a chance to think. He says he’ll supposedly change but of course he’ll say anything to keep us together. I love him but I won’t be able to stop overthinking about this. It’s killing me.

[Petermorgan34]

Like many men AND women your boyfriend probably suffers from sex/porn addiction. I think you need to ask him straight up if he has (like prior to and going into your relationship) or is struggling with it. If he does and loves you he will stop and delete his account, and work through it with you.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

If you can't let it go then end it right away. But think if you can trust him or not. I mean, he was paying for an onlyfans but he never cheated on you.

[Asker]

Oh I forgot to mention I’m the one who works at the moment and that money was “mine”... our money since we’re partners but I worked hard for it and we’ve been struggling with money since I had to go part time so he could complete his internship for school.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

That makes it worse!
He should get a job! Aside from that he never cheated right? So if you love him and he is willing to be better this can still work.

[Asker]

He’s never cheated as far as I know. I feel like your words give me some hope that this could work but at the same time I feel like if I take him back I’m setting myself up for failure. He’s seeking this fantasy and pleasure that only he knows about and it excites him... what if he ends up cheating on me to get that same rush?

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

This fantasy of him... Did he went to the onlyfans for the fantasy or just for the nudes?
Let me put it in a different way. He just wanted to jerk off and so eye candy or he really feels a rush to do things behind your back?
I don't want to set you up to failure. And I totally get why you are afraid to forgive him, honestly you should be. But be sure of what it meant to him before making a decision.

[Asker]

When I asked him he said he just wanted to see them naked... but the messages I read were... well not something I’d want to picture my SO doing with another woman. Obviously the models just wanted his money but what about the girl he went to school with? That was his first subscription... he wanted to see her naked. It makes me feel terrible because I just had a baby and he feels the need to see other women naked who don’t have stretch marks or baby fat...

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

You are parents?
If I was you I would be super hard on him. Get a gob! Never get in contact or a onlyfans again or you are done!

[Thebearjew1999]

I want to know why some people don’t consider watching porn or anything like that is cheating. Your significant other is pleasuring themself to the thought of somebody else. They are literally cumming while looking at someone other then you. I personally think it’s messed up to do and I take it personally. Are you not good enough for him that he has to go somewhere else? I hate that shit. Some men are pigs.

[Thebearjew1999]

Not saying anyone here is a pig! Just saying some are lol

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

@Thebearjew1999 I don't think watching porn cheating. If the person is talking to someone else or having a webcam chat I agree with you.
Just watching porn for the sake of jerking off doesn't mean that our partner isn't enough.
I watch porn. My wife watches porn and we are both cray for the other.

[Hangry22]

Dump him. He's a complete asshole if he is spending your money on his old classmate

[Incel666]

Hahahaha who the fuck subscribes to onlyfans, what a fucking simp your boyfriend is. can't believe this guy manages to get a girlfriend hahaha jfl jfl tbh tbh