Would You Feel Sorry For Someone Who Gets Cheated On If They're The Type Who Makes Excuses/Justifies When Others Of Their Gender Cheat?

Question

While I don't wish ill on anyone, I don't/wouldn't have much sympathy for someone that is either a cheater themselves or thinks it's okay for men to cheat but not women or women to cheat but not men and then "they" get cheated on... No gender is entitled to that "get out of jail free" card.. Motive, excuses, method-all moot... At the end of the day, they STILL a cheater that broke someone's trust in them and broke their word/promise to that person..

MasseurDeMojo · Accepted Answer

It is very sad, anytime anyone cheats. I you back up those who cheat, you really do need help. Making excuses and justifying others cheating is that person covering up their own intentions for a future or current time. In other words; they themselves may have cheated on their significant other, or they may be contemplating all the reasons why they need to cheat.

When they are cheated on, it does hurt, and they still need help!!! they need to realize that cheating hurts the whole family, not just them. And you do not get over someone cheating on you by cheating on them. Working together to discuss what lead to the cheating, and then discussing what needs to be done to let it never happen again is key!!

The main way to stop cheating is to communicate with each other, and never let the sun go down on your anger; that will plant the seeds, that will lead you to cheat!!!

Yes, it may seem the person deserves being cheated on after making excuses for, and justifying others who have cheated; but it is still not right, and they should be helped to learn why it is so bad to condone cheaters actions. If done right, the person will probably apologize for supporting the other cheaters.

oldasIfeel22 · Accepted Answer

I cheated on my first girlfriend at 16. I confessed to her, she was hurt and furious and dumped a week later with a giant fuck you. And I had to accept it.

Yeah I was just a typical horny teenage boy. But I knew it was wrong then and I know it is wrong now. I made a vow to never do that again for the rest of life and I haven’t. I kept my word.

But I swear how do you hear men say “well I was upset” or “she wasn’t there for me” or some other crap to justify cheating? Am I “incel” who deserves to get cheated ok because I point that out?

I don’t “believe” women inherently are more likely cheat. Not at all. But I do believe modern society tries gives way more leeway to women who pull this shit vs. men. So this unfortunately makes women who are borderline choose the shitty decision.

I’m 95% sure one girl I dated a few years ago cheated on me with a coworker a week before we split up. I never got it confirmed. We were on the rocks at the time but still is was a disgusting thing to do given we dated for a full year. She also made a bunch of new feminist friends in the theater school she started going to. I noticed a change in her behavior and it wasn’t for the better.

Gypsyqueen91 · Accepted Answer

As much as I'd like to agree with the claim "Once a cheater always a cheater;" I simply can't -
I can agree that no one deserves to be mistreated but I don't truly agree with the labels - I agree that this persons behaviors were unwanted - but the problem with definitive labels is that there is no room to grow - because we've already written them off as this - or that - if we can simply look at the behavior of present tense - not past - we can learn to be happier and not get stuck in the past - sometimes we need to teach the ones we love what will or will not be tolerated so they can be better to us -
we either can either accept what is or simply move on and either way its not wrong

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

No! If a guy thinks it is okay for guys to cheat, same for women… then it sounds like a little dose of karma/poetic justice might serve them well! If you want to be with someone else, just end the relationship you are in now. I think the reason they don’t is b’cause they are cowards and are terrified of both facing the pain they would cause with a break-up, and of possibly being alone if it doesn’t work out with Mr/Ms. greener grass!

coachTanthony · Answer

I would say Karma came home to roost. Karma never loses an address. I feel sorry for anyone who gets done "Wrong" but maybe just maybe they learned a valuable lesson in the process with their mindset thinking the other way!

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

If they have cheated in the past, I'd say they are experiencing things from the other side for once.
But if they didn't cheat, despite their completely disagreeable and/or sexist opinions, I'd still feel sorry for them.

ChiTown33 · Answer

I wouldn't feel sorry for someone who got cheated on anyways. Why would I?
Most people show you who they are and most people are so up in their feelings they miss all the red flags.
If anything I find it kind of amusing when someone gets cheated on.

I know this isn't along the same line. But I worked with this lady who was 21. She was 16 when she met her future husband who was 26. Naturally her parents didn't approve. Anyways they got married she had 2 kids by the time she was 21. The family never accepted the husband. One time they came over for a visit to the moms house as her dad had passed away. They left her husband and a younger ( mentally challenged) relative from her family home alone. Later the mom accused him of raping her. Of course the wife defended her husband to everyone. Even trying to convince me he was innocent. I wanted to believe he was for her sake. But I said. How old were you when he went after you? 16 wasn't it? Logically speaking he's showing a predatory pattern.
There is happy ending to this story though. The guy eventually confessed. He's now in prison. And she's remarried to a solid dude.
The point of this story is just when we have feelings for someone we sometimes turn a blind eye to so much obvious stuff.

Peterdivine · Answer

This would be what is classically known as "being hoisted on your own petard."

You can pity that they have to learn the feelings of shame and betrayal through personal rather than second-hand experience, but should this happen, it was always the best-case scenario if they couldn't come to the understanding themselves of why cheating is so widely and heavily frowned upon.

That being said, being vindictive is just salt in the wound. Help them pick themselves up and move on after a mourning period, and if they're stubborn enough that they haven't changed their tune after first-hand cuckoldry... well, then you need to start considering whether you can tolerate such a friend in your life or not.

9Livezzz · Answer

I agree if they think its okay for men to cheat but not for women to cheat. They deserve to be cheated on real hard then so they can get a taste of their own medicine. Obviously those kind of people dont ever get true feelings for someone and everyone is expendable in their eyes. They have no clue what it feels like to have that kind of trust in someone and then they betray you. If its a guy that is doing that, oh boy he is going to be in total shock the day itll happen to him. His opinion will change real quick after hahaha

Lliam · Answer

Nope, not at all. If someone is fine about other people cheating, they have no right to complain if it happens to them.
Cheaters are selfish, lying sociopaths. It stand to reason that people who excuse ithem are, too. So when they, themselves, get cheated on, it's just desserts. A humorous irony.

Nikola321 · Answer

I'd be like: "Well, now you know what it feels like."
It'd prob change his/her attitude about that, he will no longer justify. Ofc I wouldn't be happy it happened to him/her, but at least it's good for 1 thing: it would somewhat help him/her become a better person.

Not_Average · Answer

Cheating typically happens for a reason. Sometimes there are real abuse victims who escape into an affair and are afraid to leave. I look at everything circumstantial, but loyalty is a must have trait for me to date someone. I wouldn't date a former cheater.

COMMODOREII · Answer

I don't think i would ever feel sorry for anyone who gives excuses or try to justify anything that is not right. Your actions define who you are as a person and anyone who tries to pass it off as something not bad is at fault for a lot in our society. Just like not helping those in an abusive relationship who needs to get out.

Nobodyherebutme · Answer

My father left my mother for another woman afted 31 years of marriage. Mom's a tough, old school catholic. My grandfather raised her to be hard. I didn't think anything could rattle her. But that broke her. It shattered her heart. And she still isn't the same. She's lonely and very depressed. I worry about her almost continually. So I have no tolerance for people that either justify the cheating of others, or do it themselves.

ohshee · Answer

I really can't feel sorry for someone one who justifies hurting somebody else when they do so they basically are saying that it's okay to do it to them too so you can't feel sorry for anybody like that they called it upon themselves

livin_hi_808 · Answer

In short they're not a victim of any kind. Cheating happens. You're either doing it or its been done to you. Either way you walk away with something way more valuable than your shity relationship intact. EXPERIENCE. If you learn from it you have something way more valuable than your shity relationship, if you learn from it of course. I believe everyone who's had a significant other has done some form of infidelity aka cheating. They say relapse starts in your thoughts first before the act. Same with sin. But thoughts alone are merely cosmetic meaning when exposed they won't cause much more than a bruised ego.
As far as feeling anything for a cheater who gets cheated on, I don't believe it has so much to do with karma because it may sting but won't hurt as bad. Karma is meant to teach you lessons from acts you've committed in your life and rarely comes back dressed the same way. Usually finds a way to hit you where it hurts the most because most growth comes from some form of pain.

1truekhaleesi · Answer

I'd feel bad simply because I would wonder why their self esteem is so low that they're willing to settle for someone who treats them like garbage. You can't help someone who won't help themselves. Plus I think it's mentally exhausting constantly giving someone advice and they do the complete opposite.

loves2learn · Answer

I hate double standards. I would not feel sorry for them. Maybe they’d learn something.

Tunasub · Answer

I kind of don't feel anything. No matter the circumstances. It's unfortunate but it's also extremely common. I don't condone it but think about it. Would you be able to ask this question if it weren't for the plankton of the sea.

johnsmithjs · Answer

NOPE, if you condone cheating then you deserve what you get. I would probably laugh and ask them if they still think it is OK for their gender to cheat.

AdithyaR · Answer

Not really. As much as I believe no one deserves to be cheated on, if you actively defend cheating on your side while condemning the other; karma is coming to get, you and you're simply getting what you wished for.

HawkPerception · Answer

I definitely would not. I didn't even realize that was a thing. I thought cheating was a universally disgusting concept.

Massageman · Answer

Boy - a lot of those "hats" are out today - - - but I digress - - - - I agree with you. And you did a good job of nailing it in only five lines!

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

A cheater is a cheater, a new episode of cheaters hosted by tommy grand and joey greco, directed by miss brains muffins 🤣

Now i know who made this monopoly card of "get out of jail for free" it's the spongy forehead 😬

Kas19 · Answer

Because every situation is different. If a piece of shit gets cheated on, then I couldn't care less.

GirlyGal20 · Answer

if they've cheated themselves... i'd sip my tea in silent glee

IveGotNoName · Answer

Nope. Maybe it's good for them to feel it first hand. But the person who cheated is also a terrible person.

Floppy2112 · Answer

If a cheater gets cheated on, I have no sympathy. That's the bed they made, let them sleep in it. Karma is a bitch.

Mangospacho · Answer

So let me get this straight. The guy says that all men have a right to cheat and boldly declares this and then his woman cheats on him and now he’s all upset? That’s pretty hilarious.

Gabboo · Answer

not if they whine and complain about it, after justifying it happening to others

fonduegirl · Answer

Me neither, sis. Rationalizing and denial won't help

Avicenna · Answer

Yeah, you should still feel sorry for them. Getting cheated on is messed up.

douride2 · Answer

I bet you now where I stand on this one? My thoughts are very similar to yours. Not much sympathy coming from me.

loveslongnails · Answer

I've reached my monthly limit on "Cheating" questions, so I'm just here to collect points, ok? :-D Whatever you think, I agree with !!! LOL

pleasestopthis · Answer

Kind of, but at the same time it feels like a dose of justice for talking nonsense. They need to know what it feels like

Leavesbound · Answer

I prefer to keep my life simple by simply not cheating at all and therefore I don't have a sufficient amount of knowledge or experience in this area to render a useful opinion.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, I would still feel sorry for them. It is never a good thing when this happens.

PaynefulPleasures · Answer

Karmas a bitch,& how do you want to be treated. Look if they did nothing to deserve it I've got a bleeding heart but if they played the part well hell no 😎✌️

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I think that would be one of those situations where you just sip your tea quietly. Lol

Shihab91 · Answer

if they didn't cheat ( themselves) then yes but also hope this taught them a lesson on how its feels.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Yes of course. I feel sorry for ANYONE who gets cheated on. It's a horrible thing to happen whatever their views are.

Adam_INTJ · Answer

As far as I'm concerned, no one should blame someone for cheating at all.

No one takes marriage seriously because divorce is sn easy out

Breakups are incredibly easy in non-marriage relationships too.

Cheating is tge rule, not the exception.

locutus9999 · Answer

not really. but... an evil do not justify other. this person can justify. but as long as he doesn't cheat... he is still not a cheater. for what he deserves some consideration. after all... actions speak louder tan words.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

No, I don't think so.  I'll just laugh😂.  Seriously this reminded me of a scene from a movie 🤣

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

I mean... it's kinda karmic, but yeah I'd still feel bad.

ToastyOats · Answer

I think for this reason most men see already divorced women as just a temp job. Maybe she will, maybe she won't; Minimal investment. To the extent that men and women can't really expect a solid try from another person in the beginning, especially, it's like a Mexican standoff of ambiguity. Something people of previous generations certainly had less of.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Nope. You get what you give. I'd never cheat, but I'm not taking pity on a cheater who gets cheated on.

jerdanro · Answer

I agree, but I've also seen a womans infidelity being excused for various reasons. by the way, I do not condone cheating by either sex.

Example of the justifications I've seen.

Men cheat because they are lustful and untrustworthy, but women cheat because they are mistreated or neglected.

I don't think either of these are valid justification and I think both situations could apply to men or women.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah or like when my wife cheated on me I kind of felt like I deserved it because when I was younger I had sex with a married woman

Jaylaaa2000 · Answer

Yes. I been cheated on and it hurts very bad. I may not like the person's attitude or lack of respect but i do not wish bad things on others or enjoy to see their pain.

Wiredone · Answer

If they cheated, payback is a bitch. What goes around comes around. If they didn't cheat, I've got a shoulder for them to cry on

genericname85 · Answer

cheating is never justified. not even if the same person cheated on you before. cause guess what: if you're a cheater, that makes you a bad person, no matter who you did that to.

Synikal · Answer

No because they are well aware of what is going on and refusing to have a backbone.

WhiteWolf69 · Answer

I do feel bad for those people who get cheated on. I've been cheated on and I know how it feels.

ariadneR · Answer

They're getting a taste of their own medicine. While I don't believe anyone should get cheated on, sometimes karma is a bitch

PinkMichae · Answer

I'd have less sympathy but would hope them getting cheated on would change their perspective.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

It's kind of hard to...

KatherineJ · Answer

No sympathy from me! Ever!

Peculiar2021 · Answer

I am not sure how to answer, need more information.
Does this person get cheated on often?
Does this person justify and/ or make excuses in a womanizing or demasculine type of way, or is it more of a co-dependant way?

RingOfFire · Answer

Run that by me again? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

jaclyndavis · Answer

Nope. That's just stupid

IraqLobster · Answer

This question guys was influenced by IraqLobster.

OddBeMe · Answer

Schadenfreude is fun.

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

Nope. I’d laugh my ass off.

Would You Feel Sorry For Someone Who Gets Cheated On If They're The Type Who Makes Excuses/Justifies When Others Of Their Gender Cheat?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Would You Feel Sorry For Someone Who Gets Cheated On If They're The Type Who Makes Excuses/Justifies When Others Of Their Gender Cheat?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.