Boyfriend post picture/video with other girl?

[skyeee01]

So my boyfriend goes to university but we are very happy and that works for us, he's only 1 hour away so we actually see each other quite often for a so called "long distance" relationships. A few of our friends from our friendship group from home goes to the same uni as him and that includes one of his "girl" friends. I honestly do not mind him having female friends at all but when i met her for the first time she blanked me and didn't speak to me the entire weekend our group were away for. Our friendship group has told me a few things about her, saying she isn't the nicest and she always tries to split couples in the group up- i know i shouldn't believe everything i hear but when it comes from the majority of the group its hard not to believe it.
Since he's been back at uni this month he has been posting pictures of her and videos of their nights out, mainly on his private story - i don't mind him hanging out with her but it's really starting to make me overthink and i thought out of respect he wouldn't post another girl. I don't know if i am being silly, overthinking and being insecure basically. I'm really just trying to tell myself they're close friends. I trust him i really do but not her. Do i have a right to tell him this upsets me or am i just overthinking this and being "psycho" , i don't want to push him away and make him feel like i don't trust him or like he can't post what he wants or go out with her etc. What would you suggest to do?
Sorry for the long winded post and TIA :)

[SueShe]

You need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend because this lady spells trouble.

Listen to your gut feeling and it will tell you that she is a troublemaker. Your intuition is correct and is supported by the fact that a number of people in your group of friends states that she is into something no good.

You have the right, and the obligation to talk with your boyfriend and there is nothing "psycho" about straightening things up. You are neither controlling nor overthinking when all the alarm signs indicate that she is trying to split you up as she has done with other couples.

The only thing that makes sense is to have her excluded from your group. The problem will be that she will spread false rumors but you have to take those into consideration.

[skyeee01]

I've had a horrible gut feeling about her since day one but didn't want to upset my boyfriend by saying i didn't like her with no valid reason- i'm scared it'll cause a huge argument, and he definitely doesn't see what she does and will say i'm silly and overthinking for thinking that. He is very supportive and i really couldn't ask him to do more but for some reason this has really grated me :(
She never normally comes out in the group but now she's at uni with him and half of us aren't there she goes out with them- they're close friends and i'm scared he will choose her over me, which in that case i know he isn't right for me : Thank you for for the help x

[SueShe]

Your gut feeling usually does not betray you.

If he does indeed chose her over you, then you know for sure that he was not the right one for you and you owe it to yourself to have a clear conscience, even if it means to get into a fight and possibly lose him.

What is more important to you? To give in, say nothing and to live in constant fear or to speak out your worries and take the risk to break up? It is your choice but at age 19, you should not have to worry about a possible future with someone that shuts his eyes on the truth. Good luck.

[skyeee01]

Thank you! We spoke last night and he was really understanding of the situation and said he can see where i'm coming from and why i worry, especially after what i have been told. He said they're close friends but neither of them have ever seen each other in that way and if she starts giving off them vibes or acting in a way to "split us up" he will tell me and "unfriend" as such if necessary:) Maybe the gut feeling is just about her and not him as such!

[SueShe]

It was a good thing to have a talk with him and to let him know your feelings. I hope you feel better now, knowing that he has been informed about how you feel and that you know that he will act upon your worries.

[Hangry06]

You can't control his friend groups and hangouts. That's personal invasion.

[skyeee01]

as i have said, i don't do this and do not want to do that which is my fear or speaking to him about this! At the same time i should feel i can confront him when something worries me surely?

[Hangry06]

You should tell him if it worries you. Ask how he would feel if you did the same with a male friend.

[boggboss]

Yes you have the right to tell him it upset you but if he asks why it will look like u don't trust him because if u did there wouldn't be a issue as u know he won't do anything to hurt u cos essently he is still allowed to chill with her just not post it which is a small thing

[skyeee01]

I find a constant fight in my head, because i do trust him but I've previously been in really toxic relationships so there's this slight anxiety that just wants to think and expect the worst- which i know is my problem not his :/ I thinks that's why i don't know whether to bring it up or not because deep down i know its me and my anxiety rather than him doing anything wrong as such but on the other hand if its making me overthink this much should i bring it up just so he knows- he has always told me if i have a problem to talk to him and that it won't end up in a n argument but previously (not with him as we haven't had a problem yet) its always ended in arguments.

[boggboss]

Then speak to him dont treat him like how your ex where

[Twalli]

You should tell him so he's aware

[Iron_Man]

Tell him about it

[In_Trance]

Dump him

[skyeee01]

i don't feel its a valid reason too- he never does anything wrong and technically hasn't here i just don't know whether its valid enough to bring up to him :/

[In_Trance]

Yes it is. Tslk to him

[Anonymous]

I don't think he knows your worth