Do you think a marriage can be successful even if there aren't really any romantic feelings towards each other?

Question

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Depends , if you both are in it for the long haul and both remove selfishness for each other , if you both ask yourselves if you would be ok without each other? Marriage is not easy , I was Married for 14 years to someone that was amazing in the beginning but then completely did a 360 on me and changed on me and started treating me like shit , barely showed affection towards me and the sex just dwindled away and died down to the point I felt like I was holding on to something just for the sake of marriage and my kids , I started feeling like a punching bag and just a convenience to her, it started feeling like we were room mates raising kids together the passion was gone Her selfishness started to shine and I was no longer a priority to her , but I still put up with it because I believed in marriage and I didn’t get married to be single , so what ended it was she slipped and had an affair on me and that’s when I threw in the towel and divorced her , I always think if I could go back in time and see myself I would tell myself to dump her ass the second she changed on me , cuz I feel like I wasted my time holding on to something that wasn’t there , and regret all the missed opportunities I have had of meeting Girls that made me feel valued and respected , while my wife was just negative and miserable most of the time, So if you feel that with your husband you are probably best to move on and not waste your time , Life is too short to be with someone that you aren’t that happy with , so many people get into relationships and marriages to realize they are not with the right person , Love only grows when 2 people remove selfishness for each other and sacrifice for one another, during the good and bad times, You both have feelings and indifferences , but your partner should always do their best to make you feel loved and wanted and valued and vice versa , Romance doesn’t come from being fancy wined and dined shit , Romance comes from the little things they do for you , Most peoples expectations of romance is to far fetched , stop watching those scripted movies lol If your husband works to provide and he helps around the house with chores etc. That’s Romance when he makes you a priority , if he sits around and doesn’t lift a finger and expects you to do everything then he more than likely isn’t happy with you either , it doesn’t take much to please a guy , give him a beer give him sex and make him feel you look up to him , then he will gladly do more shit around the house , Girls have a list of shit they need done for them to be turned on lol Marriage is team work you both should be there for each other no matter what obstacles you both face , if you allow your selfishness to get the better of you then you really don’t love and value your partner, when you pick out their flaws over all the good they do you aren’t being loving and supportive , We can only give what we receive for the most part , if you both keep butting heads and not compromising and being miserable then you are best to walk away.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

I don’t think successful, as in its a success as a marriage, it would be more of a success as a friendship where both happened to be married.

it sounds more platonic than married.

for me it would be hard as I am actually romantic, I even buy my ex flowers as a surprise etc.

The romance to me is those little silly things you do for each other, not the sex or the cuddling but those things that give you a big smile and you feel inside and you can sit and smile to yourself.

can you have love without romance?

not just like love you have with friends, but that love you have with a person before even sex or other stuff.

Yes you can have a happy marriage without romance as long as both are okay with it, however there does need to be something or it’s just an existence.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I’m guessing that a lot of seniors are not physically attracted to their partners because their sex hormones are depleted at that stage but they remain loving because this is the person they have cared for for over 40 years and raised children and grand children with. Like my ex best friend was a female I had no physical attraction to because I’m straight but I loved her just as much as I loved my parents because we shared most of our lives together.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't even say it is a marriage at all - and no way it can ever be successful! You are scraping the bottom of the barrel here. Call it something other than a marriage. Don't keep lying to yourself.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I cannot imagine marrying someone if I was not in love with her. It is unfathomable.

CuriousJC · Answer

I doubt it, after being married to a man or a woman for so long those romantic feelings starts to fade away then eventually someone starts to cheat on the husband or wife while being in a married relationship. Love gets dull and stale after being married for a few years the most, but that still doesn't mean the husband and wife should cheat on their lover while being married to someone else. There are so many ways to spark a romantic relationship while being married but it seems people prefer to do it the easy way by cheating with somebody else.

ohshee · Answer

I think it could work but the conversation would have to come up who broke up with who because I know for me I would want to have sex and I don't mean like once a month I mean everyday twice LOL so I don't know if it could work because you did I would have to bring home a girl yeah I think it's capable of working but giving up sex would be hard to do

t-8900 · Answer

I'd stay in a loveless marriage because i took vows. But i'd probably end up making you regret breaking my heart every moment after the kids are out until you got with the program and learned to make me an actual priority again. But if you walk out on me, you're dead to me.

apokolips · Answer

I think so. Because the sole purpose of marriage is to raise a family. It's really difficult. So personal interests are set aside for the kids sake. I've seen it happen with people I know too.
They have romantic feelings for each other but they slowly fade away after marriage and having kids. But they stick together for the sake of the family.

MotorcycleMan · Answer

There is a big variety of feelings and definitions about what exactly a "marriage" is, so the range of marriages that can work is going to be a wide variety as well. I think that two people with common feelings about what a marriage should be could make it work. Whether or not it's something you would want is another question.

madgoat · Answer

Throughout history, many marriages have not been based on modern ideals of romance and love.
Codependent utilitarianism would be closer to the truth, and with common goals.
Depends what you and she want out of life. You wouldn't want to be tied to someone you cannot work with or dislike, but you don't have to be smitten.
And what does successful mean anyway?

alance99 · Answer

It can be successful if the couple wants to stay together even without romantic feelings coz there must be something thats binding them together and they dont want to separate

Pillarofhell · Answer

What is romantic feelings? Those come after years maybe even decades into a relationship when you can look back at all you've done together. And how the innocent way you met turned into something life changing. Romance is overhyped. Romance is a consequence, not part of the process.

shepardmaddison · Answer

I think it could only be successful if both expect example that. But if anyone wants something different... It would not work, at least in my opinion...

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I don't see marriage as just sex or two people in a relationship wheather successful or not.

Marriage is family. Your husband or wife is a family member and the closest one you have for obvious reasons that I don't have to mention.

GaGirls · Answer

If that is there definition of marriage then yeah but it's a pathetic one in my honest opinion.

sensible27 · Answer

I have seen a marriage work because they married for buisness, and eventually fell in love together.

serious · Answer

Yes it can be. Especially in cases of arranged marriages.

NathanDavis · Answer

that would just be pretending... to be okay, but it's not okay

Andres77 · Answer

Is there no emotional excitement ever? Is there bitterness or resentment or unforgive ness? Are you just roommates now?

rcljr · Answer

Because lefties cannot use a checkbook or credit card properly.

exitseven · Answer

I suppose there are many marriages like this. Fortunately I do not have one.

humanearth · Answer

I did that for my 1st marrage for reasons I won't talk about in public

mrcurious2020 · Answer

Kissing, cuddling, holding hands not your thing right?

Jouth · Answer

Technically. But I would never settle for something like that. I deserve better and so would my wife.

OddBeMe · Answer

I guess…but doubt it. Plutonic marriages could be more like a business partnership.

dolemite89 · Answer

ya most marriages are sexless eventually anyways lol

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

No if there is no romantic feelings its not a marriage its a friendship

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Nah, they aren't the only people in the world, so no

Hangry06 · Answer

Yes ofc. I think it will last longer that way

SunnySensei · Answer

Successful maybe Miss, but happy not quite sure.

Archerer · Answer

Of course, as long as you sleep with other people

ThrowAwayx404 · Answer

This only works if the guy is rich.

In_Trance · Answer

Read your question back out loud to yourself

crmoore · Answer

Technically yes, practically no.

Twalli · Answer

Not if there never were.

whosnumber1 · Answer

it could, but definitely not for me

Lonely888 · Answer

Yes, if both partners are on the same page

Ardafit67 · Answer

how do you think i face in profile

OnTheLevel · Answer

Perhaps tolerable, but not successful.

Goodboystevie · Answer

Marriage yes, relationship NO its based on sex

Turtleneck22 · Answer

No I don’t believe so. You need to have spark.

krin_m · Answer

Depends on your definition of success TBH.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Nope.

MrPlentiful · Answer

Marrage is retarded

bamesjond0069 · Answer

No way.

Shihab91 · Answer

Nope

Zygum · Answer

Not at all

Slim57 · Answer

Hell no

rahul5558 · Answer

In my opinion no

Do you think a marriage can be successful even if there aren't really any romantic feelings towards each other?

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