Boyfriend won some money in the lottery but won't share because I was "unsupportive." Is he being unfair or am I being unreasonable?

Question

So, I Was always told growing up that playing the lottery is waste of money, so I've never played.

My boyfriend of 3 years who I live with now plays with a few of the guys at work once a week , they all chip in like $5 and buy a ticket, they've been at it for about a year and had some minor wins here and there.

I was always telling him it's a waste of money and even added up how much he had spent and told him what he could have bought with that money but he wouldn't listen.

So, about two weeks ago, they won a substantial amount, and each walked away with around $75000 after tax! I couldn't believe it, he actually had a big win!

However, once I asked him "so what are we going to do with the money?" and he said "We? There's no WE in this money, you always made fun of me for playing the lottery, so, yeah, you're not getting any" and this has really upset me, even 10% of that would clear up all my debts and I told him he was being selfish and punishing me for being realistic, but he's not budging.

Surely he's not being fair?

SomeGuyCalledTom · Accepted Answer

There's nothing empirically or logically wrong with what he said, or what he does with the money. It IS his money, NOT yours, after all.

That said, I think the issue you're having here is that you was hoping for some emotional reassurance that you're both part of a "team". I think you'd actually be fine with not seeing any of that money yourself, if you felt some of this reassurance in the tone of his initial response. So while I basically agree with him when it comes to it being his earnings, I do think he could've conveyed this with a more reassuring manner, since it's clearly upset you enough to come here looking to us for that reassurance. But then, you did kinda broach the subject in a way that implied you had some automatic stake in his earnings, which is also kind of insensitive, since you were so admonishing of his lottery spendings right up until the precise moment you see them potentially benefiting you. Ideally you should've just been glad for him, asked him what he had in mind for "his" winnings, and not given any indication that you expected anything for yourself. That would've made him feel validated in his independence (nobody wants their autonomy to feel threatened), which would set his mind at ease, and since his mind would be at ease, HE might have actually approached YOU later on about spending part of the money together. But you jumped the gun by making that presumption on his behalf, which from his perspective violated his right to autonomy over his earnings. You denied him the opportunity to decide for himself whether to let you in on those earnings, and as such, probably made him feel a bit emasculated, and thus he became overly defensive, and reacted by snapping at you in such a way that led you to feel emotionally invalidated. It's a lose-lose scenario, when really you should both just be glad that one of you had a "win" today. Because if you came home a week from now with a "win" of your own, surely you'd want him to just celebrate with you, rather than jumping the gun and acting like he "owns" a stake in your win. I think you can both take this as a learning experience. You need to learn to let him come to his own decisions about how he profits from events you had no part in; and he needs to learn to be more reassuring and less defensive, even if his pride feels pricked in the moment because someone said the wrong thing.

DWornock · Accepted Answer

You are absolutely right. It is unwise to buy lottery tickets. Even if you collected 100% as a lump sum and didn't pay taxes, the payout percentage is too low. Far better odds Los Vagas is creating your own lottery. That is, bet $1 on a roulette number and let it ride 1 or more times. If you win twice before taking the money you win $1,295 if you let it ride again you win $46,655. That is an 85% payout which, considering the lum sum payment, the lottery payout is about 25% and only about 20% after taxes. That means for every $5 you win (on average) $1. In other words, a lottery is like trading your $5 for $1.

Regardless, if you inherited 100% from some relative, would you consider it your money and not "OUR" money? I believe there is zero change that you would share it. In effect, the situations are identical. It doesn't matter whether or not you encouraged him to buy lottery tickets. That is not relevant. Even if you supported his buying lottery tickets, if you didn't pay part of cost of the lottery tickets, it is all his money. It would be foolish to share it with you because, if you breakup, you wouldn't pay it back.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I mean...you're technically not wrong in your assumptions. Statistically, there are hundreds of thousands of people who never win more than a few dollars playing the lotto, and if you're already in poverty, you are basically wasting good money on a statistical crap shoot.

...that is, up until it is you actually win, which is what he did. His money, I'm sure he has some dreams he'd like to fulfill with that money, and I'm sure he will. You've admitted you didn't support his playing the lotto, but now want to reap the rewards, so he's also not wrong. It has always been up to you to pay off your own debts, so probably should hop to that. You've learned an important lesson that a lot of couples do, what supporting someone really means...doesn't just mean through the good times, it means through the lean and the bad times. There are a lot of people who have "insane" dreams, but make it happen and they want people around them that were there for them from the jump, not who jump on the bandwagon at the end.

Ez-Bri-Z · Accepted Answer

Ah money, you rear your ugly head again and cause relationship issues.

Iunno, not gonna lie, I'm kinda with him on this one. If he was earning his own income and paying off his other bills then what he does with his extra money is his. You weren't being supportive and while overall you are right about the lottery, in this case you just happened to be wrong.

Be happy for him and his success, but you accumulated that debt on your own, so it really is your responsibility. Hopefully you won't let this fortuitous event cause a rift between you two.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I'm sorry but you said 10% of that would clear up "your" debt, yours not yours and his. Why do you think you're entitled to his lottery winnings? Is he entitled to a percentage of your earnings? You're not married, so what's his is his and what's yours is yours... While it would be nice if he "wanted"to help you, he's not obligated to..

Desconhecida · Answer

Uhn... you guys are not married, he won the cash fair and square using his own money and without your support. The question here shouldn't even be why you think you are entitled to his money but if the fact he got it changed you somehow. I mean, you say he could pay your debts but have you ever paid anything for him? Did you help him pay the ticket?
You are going to ruin your relationship if you keep claiming his money.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You are not married and he is not obligated to give you anything. I, also, do not play the lottery, as I think it is a waste of time. But having taken that position, I understand him not wanting to share.

If you want all the benefits of being married, find a husband.

MzAsh · Answer

You shouldn’t have mocked him. But his attitude is pretty childish, regardless. This is a perfect opportunity to study how he is as a person. Stand back and observe. The money won’t last long at all. And neither will this relationship.

Paris13 · Answer

What a Cheap ass!!! He is being Selfish and even if You Cared to Share, He would NOT give you a Penny!!! Let him Rot with his Money, honey!!! xxoo

DaveJord · Answer

Well, he's not your husband honestly. I was married for 24 year and my ex was totally unsupportive about a lot of things. She hassled me about my finical decisions and many other things. Constantly being called stupid, dumb or lazy... told I was wasting my time.

I wish I cut her off way sooner... divorce time came and you bet she was all about the 6 properties and 600,000 in the in the investment accounts... we started with nothing but a $26,000 a year income and no savings. And she never pulled her weight, when all she had to do was be supportive and give some sense of gratitude and appreciation and safe all the criticisms.

Since we were married she got her fair share in the end, but it was no where what she thought she would get... your just a girl friend and you think you can hassle your boyfriend about what he does with his money?

Yeah your relationship is not going in the right direction, and I will assume it will not end well if you can be more supportive or leave his ass and find someone you don't feel you will have to criticize or hassle.

But yeah you don't deserve anything more than you give.

Lov2PlezUgurl · Answer

That's really hard for me to believe that you've got a relationship with someone for 3 years and he won some money and he won't give you enough money to get you out of debt now if you then owe any money to any body that would be different I mean he should still give you money but you wouldn't need it that bad as it is you need that money that he can help you out with and he will not let you have it or even let you borrow it sounds to me like... That's so damn selfish and childish he's probably going to blow every penny of it and I have nothing to show for it and all you was trying to do was get him to save his money if he doesn't help you out with your bills I know you've been together with 3 years but you will have to weigh the pros and cons in this relationship I really don't have enough information to tell you to leave him break up with him over a few hundred dollars and I wouldn't tell you that anyways depends on how your relationship is going to what decision you're going to have to make I mean I wouldn't want to be with someone that is that selfish and childish and uncaring because to me that shows that he does not love you that's just my opinion someone that loves you will help you out no matter what someone that loves you unconditionally and that is what relationship love is supposed to be I think if it were me I would talk to him show him how hurt you are and don't raise your voice to him just tell him I can't believe that you're not going to help me out all I was trying to do was to get you to save your money and not waste it you have a better chance of an airplane falling out the sky on top of your head then you do to win the lottery so chances where he was never going to win the lottery but it seems like the airplane fell on him and he won the lottery if he doesn't share with you and help you out he doesn't love you and you'll just have to go from there

Itsok2behapp-e · Answer

He's being fair so deal with it.

He earns money. His earnt money is his.
You earn money. Your earnt money is yours.
However, as a woman you have this entitled mindset of his money is also your money. No it's not. It's his.

Whether you got your debts before you met him or not is irrelevant. They're your debts. Not his.

Just because he's your boyfriend he's not entitled to pay your debts for you.

Ask yourself, could you survive on your own? Earn your way in the world? Pay off your own debts all by yourself?

You want to live a life you can't achieve yourself. Hence, having a boyfriend and that entitled mindset above makes you delusional into thinking you can.

So what if it's 75K? It's just a number. What have you done to earn it? Nothing.

Work hard. Earn your own money. Take responsibility of your own debts and your own finances rather than expecting others to do it for you.

You've said it yourself you're unsupportive. Why on earth does he still keep you around?

If that money is so important to you, consider what you need to do differently moving forward to be supportive of him?

If he's your boyfriend only you know if he loves you or not, right? If he does, as a man he'll give it his all. You must understand that you too are part of this relationship and have to give your all too. If not, don't expect anything and everything from him.

No doubt he loves you and he has your heart. Are you truly in it, in love with him and you have his heart? Or does the small matter of 75K change all that?

Would you give up him up, break his heart, if it meant you could have all 75K to yourself?

With a lottery, there's a saying "You've got to be in it to win it."
You don't realise it now, but you're already a winner. Don't lose him. Be in it. 100%.

No amount of money will ever compensate if you walk away and lose what you already have.

Anonymous · Answer

As someone who plays the lottery weekly let me say I see both sides of this. I drop 12 bucks a week 6 on the PowerBall, 2 on the lotto America, and 4 on the mega millions. I know my odds of winning are astronomical so why do I do it? Because 1. It's just 12 dollars. 12 dollars a week is not going to make or break me. Also I'm buying 1 ticket for each drawing that's 7 drawings a week. Buying more tickets really won't increase your odds. But 1 ticket does give you a shot no matter how astronomical. And sometimes those odds hit. Just ask the dinosaurs.
But on top of this let's say I never win a jackpot. You CAN still win lesser prizes. I have hit a 10k winner. That was a nice payday.
And that brings me to my last point and probably the biggest reason I do it. I do it because I'm buying a dream for a day. I buy that lottery ticket and when I go home after work. There's thought in my mind that if this baby hits I'll never have to work again! And to me that dream is worth burning 1 or 2 dollars.
Now let me also say I fund my retirement plan fully with a maximum contribution before I buy a lottery ticket. There's an old Jeff Foxworth joke that people have retirement plans while rednecks play the lottery. Well do both. But I know my odds of ever winning a jackpot. So I hedge my bets by maximizing my retirement first.

Honestly I'd have to know you and your boyfriends money history to know whether to back him or you On this. There is nothing wrong with RESPONSIBLE gambling.

Watson4321 · Answer

I believe meeting you Dr Benjamin on the internet is the best miracle of my life, It came as a fairytale to me when I saw numerous testimonies on how he had helped a lot of people win the lottery jackpot by giving them the winning numbers so I decided to give it try by reaching out to him, I was so excited when he replied my text on whatsapp, I explained to him what I wanted and he assured me that he's a specialist on all kinds of spell that he's gonna help me win the Mega Million jackpot as he has always done for others, I believed him and follow all the instructions and processes he prepared for me after 48 hours he gave me the Mega Million jackpot lottery numbers and I won the jackpot of $610,000,000. I want the universe to join me to appreciate you Dr Benjamin for changing my life with his magic numbers. If you want to win the lottery jackpot I'll confidently recommend Dr Benjamin he's the best I have ever seen, here are his contact information. You can visit his website for more info or WhatsApp him +18588585788 or email him drbenjaminlottospell711@gmail. com

shaysh87 · Answer

The fact that you're "upset" about this shows your lack of immaturity.

You're not his family, girl. You're not his wife. You both have separate bank accounts. HIs money is not your money. Any income he makes is HIS income. Any income you make is YOUR income. There is no "WE", even if you are desperately thirsty for some money. Your debt is not his debt.

He even never proposed to you at all. What would give you the impression that he should share his money with you?

And a guy with an attitude like that towards you is also unlikely to propose to you. It doesn't sound like a relationship like that would last.

youngmix · Answer

It wasn't your money in the first place, you're not entitled to his money just because you have a romantic relationship. Just take whatever he gives you, like in any other situation.
Also, if what he says is true, and you tried to discourage him in his endeavor, then you definitely should not expect a penny. I'm not saying that you were incorrect in your assumption that his wining was highly improbable, but you were unlucky enough to wager against his winning with your words.

It would have cost you nothing to stay out of his business, and hold your tongue when it came to someone else's money. But apparently, not minding your business just cost you some free money or mutual enjoyment. Hopefully you have learned a lesson.

admles · Answer

"If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success."

You didn't support and mocked him, but now that it's reaped rewards, you want a share? You're a joke.

Also, debt repayment is at minimum fiance-level privileges, if not wife level. Not for girlfriends.

You're literally expecting him to give you $7500 to pay off your debts? Wow, the entitlement. I'm amazed people here actually support you, he's done nothing wrong, has received a nice windfall and you're first thought is to decide it belongs to both of you? Grow up.

origami_cranes · Answer

I hate to tell you this, but this is a situation that really leaves you both in the wrong.

It was wrong for you to assume he'd want to share a prize he won without you (it was a guys thing, wasn't it?) You are in no way entitled to a cent of that money. It isn't yours.

However, it shows his character that he doesn't care enough about you to WANT to help clear up your debt. You're his girlfriend, right? He loves you?

It's one of those shitty proprietary things where it's be NICE if he shared, but he is in no way obligated to. It would just make him a kinder person. But not a bad person it he doesn't.

Sorry, babe. I agree it's a waste. Because the catch is, he will keep playing, and over the years, of gambling MORE in high hopes of winning again, he'll lose that $75,000 penny by penny. It is a mind game, and he took the bait. He should stop while he's ahead. Forever.

Junior__ · Answer

Appalling behavior on his behalf. So his itty bitty feelings got hurt. So fucking what? Do you think the girlfriends I've had haven't made light of some of my hobbies from time to time? That's life. I didn't act like a fucking five year old and hold grudges. Real men don't do that. Real men share their hearts, minds, and money with the women they claim to love. He didn't even earn the money. He didn't sweat for it. He didn't put in long hours for it. He bought a fucking lottery ticket and happened to get lucky.
You should dump him and his fucking money. Find yourself a young man that isn't so selfish and who has a backbone.

AviatorTom · Answer

You've told him over and over that playing the lottery is a waste of money, which means that you have no interest in the lottery. He won the money... without you. You are the one being unfair, thinking that you have some kind of say about what he does with the money that he won.

Unless you have a written agreement that his lottery winnings would be shared with you, back off. He can do whatever he wants with his winnings.

You have no right to believe he's being unfair. In fact, he may have been thinking of using some of the money for the two of you, and now that you're being greedy, thinking that you have a say in how the money is used, that might no longer be on his mind.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

If my girlfriend won a bunch of money inn the lottery or anywhere else, I would never expect her to share it with me! If she really loves me, she will, of her own volition, anyway. ever since I heard of them, I wanted a set of Simmons drums and, one day, I found a used set for sale. I never asked her for the money, I just mentioned something about them being for sale and she GAVE me the money to buy them! I would've eventually bought a set on my own at some point so, it was REALLY nice of her to buy these for me!!

Lionman95 · Answer

I don´t know why he´s unfair sorry. It´s his money (as long as you guys have seperated bank accounts) so it´s his choice what he does with the money. I don´t see how you could make him give you money because you haven´t taken part in the game with him.
So it´s his decision what he makes with it.
Maybe you shouldn´t have started the conversation with "so what are WE going to do with the money" because that way you show him that you take for granted that he´s going to share it with you and that you feel entitled to getting anything from him because that clearly made him so angry that he wasn´t willing to give you any money.
If you´ve started to ask "what are YOU going to do with it?", it would have been more decent and he might have been more willing to help you out.

BCRanger10 · Answer

Was it fair of you to make fun of him and tell him he was wasting time and money? It's one thing if you were to tell him every other week or month, or if he didn't have other guys pitching in or if he was in borderline poverty. But if you were "always telling him", that's another story.

And while small amounts like that add up over time, ultimately, $5 per week, the use of which is a matter of prudence, isn't all that much money. This should especially be considered even if they'd had "smaller wins" in the past.

Also, the fact that you are not married adds another layer to this. Legally speaking, he doesn't have to do anything.

You might not think it's fair or reasonable. I disagree.

Diodoro · Answer

If we're being honest you're going to benefit from the money through dates, gifts, dinners and so on. You'll benefit indirectly so I'm not sure what the major complaint is here.

But as far as him straight up giving you money? Na. That ship sailed by you making fun of him. Had you supported him and sharing in that dream with him this would be a different story.

Consider it a lesson and let it go? Brcause really you don't have a right to that money in any sense and most people in general wouldn't want to share money with someone who looked down on them for doing what they did only to look for a handout later on.

Just be happy your man got a win like a good girlfriend who loves her man would be doing right now.

libsaretards · Answer

I do not like some of the names being directed towards women, but I agree with the main point of other posts. Your boyfriend won the money. You nagged him against playing the lottery then decided you are entitled to the money he won. Yes, maybe he could be generous, but that is his choice. You two need to have a long talk about where your relationship is going and what your expectations for the future are. If you cannot agree, then separate. Other than the lottery, are there any other financial disagreements?

sd1223 · Answer

Think about it this way, if the roles were reversed would you still feel the way you’re feeling now? You weren’t supportive of it and it’s his money to do what he wants for it. Ideally yes you’d think he would want to do something for you with the money but he doesn’t have to. A lot of women expect wife perks when they’re just a girlfriend and that’s the problem. Same goes for the guys too.

molonski2 · Answer

He is being completely fair , I wouldn't give you the 2k , but each to their own..
He needs to invest 75 k its a gift from above , so dividend yielding REITs , don't spread it thin , keep the amounts reasonable.
Yet , for what its worth I agree with you , I invest in Lotteries from the other side of the fence , and let me tell you , you dont want to be the individual playing the ticket , based purely on odds , and not knowing the actual lottery , his part $75 k , probably should be x 20 , it does not pay out on the actual probability , so long term you will always loose unless the hit the super pay out , in which of course the probability is worse again.

Branes51 · Answer

A lot would depend upon how long the relationship has been and how close you are. Typically, in a marriage, both partners share the money, but in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship it would depend a lot on how serious the relationship is. Refusing to help you because you didn't support his buying lottery tickets I think is petty. But, it's his money. He has the right to do with it as he pleases.

And where did you get the idea that the world is supposed to be fair? There is no such thing as fair. There are equal rights under the law, but the world isn't fair. You weren't born to the Rockerfellers or Bill Gates. Was that fair since someone else was? Fair means you think you're entitled to what someone else has. You are not. You are entitled to what YOU have earned, minus what the IRS takes. Nothing more.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Does he owe you a lump share of money? No. I imagine it is split between his friends. They take the risk of gambling, they get the payout. Gambling $5 a week is reasonable and no more than the average cup of coffee. With today's inflation rates, even $20 a week isn't going to make or break the bank - that's like 2 cheap drinks out on the town.

Now on the flip side, I don't care if it is gambling or tax windfall or inheritance payout, a true partner should be willing to consider the basic question, "what should we do with this money?" The fact that your boyfriend is reacting defensively IS selfish and does not bode well to the future of your relationship.

Any partner who sees you as a long term partner, would want to use SOME of that money to better your joint lifestyle. Even if it's buying a better couch or TV or something more long term like saving a chunk of it for a down-payment or engagement ring.

nice-girl · Answer

No, I think he's right to be honest. We sometimes have to support our partner even when that sounds unreasonable. As long as he doesn't use all his wage for gambling, I think there's no harm in it. I mean if you budget, every spending category has its share and if a small part is for lottery there's no harm.
Give attention to the important things and don't fight for small things which don't matter.
For now, tell him that you were just mentioning statistics that lottery players rarely win, not that you don't support him.

CasaNorba · Answer

well yeah he's a 110% right. you did say he was "wasting money" by playing etc and now all of the sudden he wins and you want him to share his reward with you that you never supported him on. and even more selfish of you you now want him to share his victory with you because of your "credit card debts"

Jesus Christ! thank God he is not married to you. and you are lucky he is not me cause not only will you not get a penny out of me but our relationship would of been over in no time.

genericname85 · Answer

well generally speakin, you're not unreasonable when you say lottery is bullshit.  though at the same time: spending liek 5 bucks once a week for shits and giggles is not unreasonable. some people pay that for their stupid coffee at starbucks every day that they could have for a few cents at home...  so yeah. i think it is unreasonable to lecture him about it for that little money he spent. and i fully understand why he's not willing to share now. it's not like he wasn't able to pay rent cause he spent so much on the lotter.

cookiecrusher · Answer

No, you are being jealous and bitchy at him. You made fun of him, even though it is statistically very low chance to win anything, he still did. Because he kept going on his own with his buddies, wasted/risked all his own money over the years. Wasn't even that much, so he wasn't like addicted and needed intervention.  He was doing fine, he and his buddies won, it's their money, they shared it equally, now it's only his money. He may do with it as he pleases. He does not owe you to pay any of your debt or etc. Be supportive and tell him not to waste it on himself or you. Tell him to try investing it, maybe into few rental properties etc, it will pay off more in the long run. And again, no, don't even bring any shit up, just tell him you are happy for him and play the lotto with him if you would like the same opportunity, maybe.

Fayeleo · Answer

His response sounds rather insensitive and I would not like it. So I understand you for that part. That said, it was his money and he won the lottery with his money. You two are not married so your assets are not merged. His money stays his and your debt stays yours. You can kindly ask him if he is willing to help you out with your debt, but that should be seen as you "borrow" money from him unless you two agree otherwise.

SotiCoto · Answer

Wow... you're a complete cŭnt.  I wouldn't say you were in the wrong about disliking gambling, but continuously harassing him about it was already a shitty thing to do... and then the moment it actually works out for him, you immediately go full greed and assume you're entitled to a share of it? Even if you hadn't been a complete freaking pest about it, it is still his money and not yours. You don't deserve any of it. You're not entitled to any of it. And the very fact that you got pissed off at him because he didn't automatically want to share his money with you just goes to show you're a disgusting, greedy reprobate.  He shouldn't give you another chance. It is hard to imagine anyone actually simping for such a piece of shit as you.

hannny · Answer

Well he is not your husband só to start with, you should not be living together. Second just because he won once doesn’t mean he will win again but you will have to handle him loosing again for the rest of your life after this win because he will never stop now. I think you were right before about him playing now he will be addicted forever. But I think you should be upset twice actually not only because he did not listened to you and now he also have no obligation to share but he should if he cared about you which he clearly does not care. So in other words you should break up because not only he will not share because he doesn’t care about you but he will keep spending money for the rest of his life and if he win he is not your husband to give you any and even if he become he will probably not give any also. Leave him with his addiction. But I know you will not leave him so just be quiet and handle it ;)

Anonymous · Answer

Afraid I'm with him on this one.  He is under no legal or moral obligation to give you even 1% of that $750k. The only way he would be is if he owed you money, which he does not. So you have no right to claim any of it.  He has a point as well, he did win this money by himself. Had you supported him with his decisions, he most likely would've given you that 10%. You didn't, so you can't complain.  Apologise to him. Say you're sorry for doubting him, and that he has every right to keep the money he's won to himself. He probably will down the line help you out. Just be more open minded and supportive in the future. As you have seen with this experience, you never know what tomorrow brings those with faith.

TruthBringer · Answer

What makes you think you're entitled to his money? You're not his wife. And your debt is YOUR issue, not his. And if you truly were unsupportive, then it jutifies his stance even more. So now you want to reap the benefits of that which you didn't support? Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too.

Flower7 · Answer

He’s right and you’re wrong. You shouldn’t automatically expect him to share his winnings with you just because the two of you are dating. You didn’t contribute to the money that he was putting into the tickets. And even more so because you discouraged him from buying the tickets. Just let him keep all the money and don’t ask for any.

Luopio27 · Answer

I dont see any winners in this. Betting money is like blood money, that has lead to massive depts, bad credit and even homelessness. Sure, few people every year walk away with big ass winnings but the entire games are run by assholes who's business morality ain't shit.  If I was in a relationship and ny girlfriend won big, accepting even a dinner feels unnatural and uncomfortable.  In your case, you tried protecting your man from the threats of gamble addiction. Now that he won, each dollar is from winnings is someones loss, most likely a poor man's loss or addicts loss.  If you leave, you get a golddiggers reputation and if you stay, it may not be better reputation if someone claims you to stay in it for the money. This is the down side of being a woman.  Maybe the best thing is to stand by your morals of not betting or accepting bet money.

LeoLover75 · Answer

I’m sorry but I definitely agree with your boyfriend. You gave him a hard time for so long making such a big deal about it that you don’t deserve any. You should have kept your mouth shut cuz you probly would have got a ring with that money.

pleasestopthis · Answer

Fair? do you think it's fair to expect to reap the benefits from the lottery after all you've criticized for buying tickets? I wouldn't share a single penny either. Besides, it's his money, you're not entitled to have it.

Elliegirl · Answer

It’s his money that he spent and his money that he won. He’s free to do whatever he wants with it. You can ask if he would be willing to use a little of it to pay off your debts, but don’t get all bent out of shape if he doesn’t. They’re your debts and it’s his money that he won despite your ridicule for him playing the lottery.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

His ticket, his money. You may live together, but you are not married. If he wants to give you money or help that is his decision. He is not obligated to give you jack. Furthermore, your debt using his money? That's on you. Why should he bail you out?

TrueConfection · Answer

I don't think you should have nagged him to the point of adding up his spending to prove your point unless he was spending your money and not his own. I can see his pov, but he needs to forgive. You need to humble yourself and not expect his winnings, but be grateful for whatever he's willing to share with you. If you nag him further and call him names like selfish, he'll probably tighten his grip around his bank roll. His money. Your debts.

humpbackjack · Answer

I would say he’s being fair but he’s not someone that you should be thinking about spending the rest of your life together because he is being selfish. I would probably say the same thing but I’d be paying off your debts on the sly and buying you things so my mouth would be giving you a hard time but my heart and my actions would be sharing. Of course the only reason I’d do you this way is because you gave me a hard time so I’d mess with you but in the end you’d see I was just being a shit

Fireguy17 · Answer

did you contribute any money to help purchase any of the losing tickets? If not why would you think that you are entitled to any of the money that he won? If you each put in money every time you/he bought tickets, then by all means he should share, but to constantly ridicule someone when they aren't winning only to now expect a share of the winnings, sorry you are out of luck. You can't have it both ways.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

He's being a dick, no doubt. I think you should take it as a sign. The money was more important to him than you and your debt, and he seems to be telling you that he's already going his own way and taking his money with him. Sorry. I think this is doomed.

Mandylynn · Answer

Honestly it kind of sounds like you are a tad bit money hungry... you guys are dating not married so unless it is coming out of joint money then it is his to do what he wants... so yeah I see why he was mad you just assumed you were gunna get some of the winnings... you should probably just be thankful he still ended up giving you some to be real honest

Lynx122 · Answer

Why is he not being fair? You have thousands of dollars in debt if you're so good at handling money that you give out advice that he didn't ask for then find a way to settle it. Why do you feel entitled to his money? Is it your birthday? Christmas is over.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I'm sorry, but he's right. I don't believe in playing the lottery either. So I agree with you. He got lucky. He should call it quits while he's ahead. However, his stance on the issue of sharing with you is 100% philosophically and morally sound.

Datboi65 · Answer

You're totally unreasonable. Dude never stopped trying until he became successful, and then like a vulture you jump in at the finish line talking about "what are WE going to do with this money?". Please, cut it off. Your debt is your responsibility, so handle it. Have you actually been more patient and helped him out, maybe you would've received a cut, but you weren't and that's how it's going to be.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Lmao thats funny as shit. I mean he couldve at least given you $1k-5k but you’re not married so i can't even be surprised by his marriage. Do you still really want to be with someone who pushes you aside in general? This isn't even about the money but something greater like priorities. Im shocked you haven't broken up and moved out

Adam1978 · Answer

He is completely fair. It's his money he decides where all of it goes. You have no claim on anything of it. If you are a good girlfriend you would benefit from it. Because I doubt he manage to spend it all without involving you or buying something you can use at his place. But forget that it will cover any of your debts. You need to pay them off on your own.

Oigit · Answer

It is his money and he is free to do with it what he wants. If he does not want to give you any, he is free to do so. The same would very much apply to any money you won. You would be under no obligation to give him any. That is where the entire issue starts and stops.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

I agree that it's a major waste of money and he totally got lucky. The odds are horrible with the lottery. The odds are way better at a casino, but the odds there are still against you. However it's his money. He owes you absolutely nothing. You are the one being unfair, not him. To be honest, even the fact that you even think you are owed something looks pretty bad. Any girl I've been with would never even consider such a thing.

RealMarek · Answer

It’s his money. Even if you marry him in a community property state, as long as he keeps that money in a separate account from ones with income made during the marriage, it can still be his even if you divorce him. Guess you shouldn’t have given him grief over playing the lottery.

Somoneelse · Answer

I think he's right. You always told him its a waste of time and you kept being unsupportive. But when he wins something you run to him to get the money like some ant comes for sugar. Do you really think he would give it to you? You don't deserve it.  You are the one being really unfair and being selfish by claiming his money. Huge red flag to be honest.

Socal99 · Answer

Well you're only his girlfriend you're not married to him or engaged and if you dog them and weren't supportive of him playing the lotto he really doesn't owe you anything I mean if I was in a relationship and I won and she was all about trying to get money or asking me to buy this or buy that I would probably dump her anyway because all she's after is the fucking money anyway

slatyb · Answer

Three years? Where is this relationship going? It doesn't sound like you ever agreed to combine your incomes, so it's not your money. You aren't married, so it's not half yours either.  From his reaction it doesn't sound like he thinks of it as a partnership. You might want to reconsider your future with him.

Nomoturtle · Answer

You're still right about the lottery being a sham on average.  As for whether you're entitled to his winnings, how much money did you risk on the tickets? Do you have an arrangement in the relationship where he is "the breadwinner"?, or that you cover each others costs?

Drumlin2001 · Answer

If he were going out and wasting it all on himself then maybe I'd have some sympathy, but he's being sensible and investing it for the long term, only spending a small amount. So out of the £5k he's spending, he's given you almost half seems pretty generous, and you don't seem very grateful

Shamalien · Answer

People are fucking parasites. It’s YOUR debt, not his, that makes it YOUR responsibility. The fact that you would think you are entitled to a cent of these winnings would prevent me from giving you any if I was in his shoes. If you were more humble about it maybe I’d share some, but this entitlement shit really rubs me the wrong way

Phoenix98 · Answer

He’s not obligated or required to share the money with you. But you both have a valid point. But you also both made mistakes. Im of the opinion that what you earn and make is yours to keep. I wouldn’t expect my partner to give me money they won from gambling that’s theirs to keep. They made it and earned it.

Boyfriend won some money in the lottery but won't share because I was "unsupportive." Is he being unfair or am I being unreasonable?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Boyfriend won some money in the lottery but won't share because I was "unsupportive." Is he being unfair or am I being unreasonable?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.