Advice please ?

[Anonymous]

Ok so I have a boyfriend and we argue and fight a lot and 2 years ago we actually broke up because of it and I had a relationship with another person for a time wasn’t serious and didn’t get together. And it causes conflict between me and my partner because he stayed single for the time we split and I never in a way I feel awful for saying this but I can’t help but miss the person because he was always there for me. Me and my boyfriend don’t see eye to eye most of the time and argue a lot and he will accuse me of cheating with this said person and I would never cheat but I just feel guilty because I really do miss him being there I just feel as though there’s something missing in the relationship. I know I’ll get slammed for this because I look like a slut or whatever I just would love some advice because I’m eating myself up for it.

[crossdressingrihno]

You probably miss that guy because your boyfriend doesn't trust you and because your boyfriend isn't being a good boyfriend

If your boyfriend isn't making you happy and he's not trusting you and stuff like that then you don't really have a boyfriend you have someone claiming to be your boyfriend and who you are claiming to be your boyfriend but a real boyfriend is there for his girlfriend and trusts her maybe he doesn't trust her with his life but he definitely doesn't go around claiming that his girlfriend is cheating on him every 15 minutes

All relationships have arguments but if you're having enough of them it goes from being a normal relationship to being a problematic one unless of course you're in one of those relationships where arguing is a kink because yes that does exist

More or less you sound like you're in a problematic relationship and there's another person who was more suited for you than your current boyfriend so you miss the guy who is more suited for you

If you haven't been cheating on him then you don't really have anything to feel sorry for
Also if you guys were broken up for a while before you got into that other relationship then he has nothing to complain about and he's just complaining for the sake of complaining

And just because you guys broke up and he hasn't gotten with anyone else doesn't mean it was because he didn't want to it could have been he just couldn't because no one wanted him or maybe he just wanted something to hold over your head you don't know what he's thinking and this guy doesn't seem like he's actually worth your time

You can stay with him if you wish because I could be wrong I could be very wrong and he could love you to death and you could love him to death but from what you've told me it just sounds like you're tired of his BS and there was someone who treated you better but you feel almost morally obligated to the man you're with now for whatever reason

[TheMajesticKing777]

You should go for who makes you happy and who you want to be with foreal, living a lie and lying to yourself trying to force your emotions to change isn't going to happen, you'll just live unhappy, you can't fool love, it seems like you miss the other person and want to be with the other person, I'm not telling you to breakup with your boyfriend but you should figure out what you want and I guess decide what you want to do on your own

[Asker]

I have tried to end things with him on occasions and he doesn’t let me just feels wrong but I also don’t want to leave something I fought so hard for

[TheMajesticKing777]

Well you are gonna have to choose, it's one or the other, I feel like arguing most of the time itself isn't a healthy relationship and I also believe deep down that if someone had to breakup once then it wasn't meant to be, that's personal opinion tho, from the looks of it, it seems like your emotions are making the choice for you, you are saying you miss the other guy and you are unhappy with this guy, those are the vibes I'm picking up, is it true?

[Asker]

Yeah sort of I do want to be with him he just makes it hard to fight for because everytime we argue he brings up the fact I slept with someone else after we split

[TheMajesticKing777]

Try communicating with him about how you feel and how you are unhappy and the reasons why you are unhappy with him, if he can change then you'll be happy bur if he doesn't, it's beyond your control and you should make decisions that will make you happy in the long run.

[Emerald55346]

Girl it’s normal there is always going to be good and bad things and things you’ll miss from past relationships, you need to focus on the best interest of your current one, use what you miss to determine what is missing in your current relationship and work on it, going backwards isn’t the way to get your needs met. When you feel the urge to go back remember why you left and don’t think to much about it and don’t beat yourself up love, your not a slut your just trying to figure out how to be in a relationship everyone has or is going through there own stuff as well just remember to always take the high road and be respectful 💕

[StrawberryShake]

Well you didn't cheat, you were single when it happened. My advice is break up with your present boyfriend. It doesn't sound like it's working out and he's too focused on what you did when you guys broke up. I can't blame him but he also shouldn't be blaming you... If he's that jealous he should find someone else.

[Asker]

It sounds bad but I have tried to end things and he doesn’t actually let me I do love him but I feel like it’s forced on both parts now to stay together but like I said he won’t let me leave

[StrawberryShake]

Oh he won't let you leave? Well isn't he a walking red flag. Actually, this is past red flag. Call the police on him, he can't force you to do anything.

[Pudsmucker]

That is what you call a toxic relationship. They are not healthy. Walk away from him. It can turn into something abusive. You can find other fish in the pond. Good luck

[Iron_Man]

It depends if you had sex with the new guy that you’re dating

[Asker]

I have slept with my partner and when we broke up I did sleep with the other person too

[Iron_Man]

Maybe that’s the problem

[Asker]

He was talking to other girls durning the time we tried to resolve things and left me to go out with them I slept with the other once we split

[Iron_Man]

That sounds like you guys aren’t a good match next time just try to do the old-fashioned dating style and don’t think about sex all the time

[Asker]

I wasn’t thinking about sex? It was just something that had happened if I could take it back I would and do it the right way but we all make mistakes

[Iron_Man]

Yeah

[Iron_Man]

But try to make corrections in the future sex related

[KrakenAttackin]

Should a relationship be this hard? Do you really think the fighting will stop? Just breakup for fuck sake.