Do I move on or see what could happen?

[Krystal23]

Please can I ask for some advice as I can’t ask anyone else around me.. my ex has been asking me to meet him he lied about having a girlfriend but when I did say I have a boyfriend (I lied) he rang me begging to meet up.. he’s done it twice not and I have not seen him for over a year. He said he wants to meet up as friends. I’m not sure if I should? I don’t trust him and that’s what is holding me back how can you be with someone you don’t trust 100%.. i don’t know if I should meet him just to see him and see if I feel anything or if I should just leave it and move on with life. He’s usually so worried about what his family think so we did not go on dates together we just used to chill inside the house. I think because I was lonely there was some sort of emotional attachment there. I did tell him one time I feel like I’m just existing he didn’t really comfort me infact he just said two words if that. He’s obviously regretting it now as he now knows I was a good person. Should I let him regret doing me bad and move on with my life or get clarity from the situation and see what happens? And see if he actually wants to go on a date so I can see if he’s grown up abit and not bothered what his family think.. I just don’t know what to do 😫🥲 I have no guidance around me

[OlderAndWiser]

1. You are making some assumptions about what he is thinking and what is now motivating him. Your assumptions are probably based on how YOU would be thinking and feeling if you were in his position, but he does not think or feel the same way you so. His motivation may be strictly to resume a sexual relationship because he isn't doing well with his current partner and he wants to have you as a backup plan.

2. Suppose you see him and you feel something for him. In all likelihood, that is what wold happen, but. . . so what? It sounds as if you want a real relationship and that requires: mutual lust, love, trust, and respect. For it to work, you must have lust, love, trust, and respect for him and he must have lust, love, trust, and respect for you. You may feel lust for him, and perhaps even love, but do you trust him? Do you respect him? And he may feel lust for you, but does he love, trust, and respect you?

3. You tried this once before and it didn't work. You are both the same people that you were when it didn't work and if you try to reconcile, you will encounter the same problems, most likely much quicker this time. If this won't lead to a long term relationship and if that is your goal, then wouldn't this be a huge waste of your time and energy?

[Krystal23]

Ok I can’t lie I did end up meeting up with him and he is the same person he was before and I definitely don’t regret meeting him I can move on with my life. He doesn’t want any commitment right now and I said to him you only get one life and I ain’t waiting around for you so don’t expect to be waiting and he didn’t like the response I gave him and before I like he’s like ‘ do you even care about me ‘ I said to him not as much as I used too. He did not like any of my answers but I am in a much better place after meeting him and so proud of myself for not feeling guilty. He’s an idiot and I don’t need that

[OlderAndWiser]

It sounds like you learned from the experience and that is a great accomplishment!

[Krystal23]

Definitely! And I have no regrets meeting him.. do you think I made the right decision? As I have no friends also so I can’t really ask anyone.

[OlderAndWiser]

I would have advised not meeting him again, but you already did and it convinced you that he was a mistake and you have learned a lesson, so hindsight says that you did the right thing.

[Krystal23]

Yeah after one year of not meeting I feel fine and sad at the same time but I know I made the right decision

[alance99]

He doesn't deserve you and him not comfortable around his family is a big red flag, your thoughts and feelings will be more messed up if you meet him again try to forget him and move on

[Krystal23]

Ok I can’t lie I did end up meeting up with him and he is the same person he was before and I definitely don’t regret meeting him I can move on with my life. He doesn’t want any commitment right now and I said to him you only get one life and I ain’t waiting around for you so don’t expect to be waiting and he didn’t like the response I gave him and before I like he’s like ‘ do you even care about me ‘ I said to him not as much as I used too. He did not like any of my answers but I am in a much better place after meeting him and so proud of myself for not feeling guilty. He’s an idiot and I don’t need that

[alance99]

I also think there is nothing to regret about infact your meeting with him was an eye opener and now you are 100% sure, he is not the right guy for you.
My suggestion would be to block and delete him everywhere.

Move ahead in life with positivity coz there is way better guy waiting for you in future 😊

[HollyK21]

So he lied about being in a relationship, he’s worried about his family’s opinion of you, didn’t take you on dates, you can’t trust him.. this is a stack of red flags girly, and probably only the things you can count off the top of your head. I know sometimes it can be tempting to indulge and ex but honestly I’d say move on. If you’re lonely and struggling with some issues (i. e you telling him you feel like you’re just existing), then maybe you should direct your focus to being in a healthier frame of mind, rather than reintroduce that troubling relationship. This just sounds like a guy who’s better left in the past and would very likely present the same issues that broke you up in the first place, which you don’t need if you are already having a hard time.

[Krystal23]

Ok I can’t lie I did end up meeting up with him and he is the same person he was before and I definitely don’t regret meeting him I can move on with my life. He doesn’t want any commitment right now and I said to him you only get one life and I ain’t waiting around for you so don’t expect to be waiting and he didn’t like the response I gave him and before I like he’s like ‘ do you even care about me ‘ I said to him not as much as I used too. He did not like any of my answers but I am in a much better place after meeting him and so proud of myself for not feeling guilty. He’s an idiot and I don’t need that

[Rainbowdash990]

Move on you deserve a man who will treat you better, His not mature/isn’t honest either.

[Krystal23]

Ok I can’t lie I did end up meeting up with him and he is the same person he was before and I definitely don’t regret meeting him I can move on with my life. He doesn’t want any commitment right now and I said to him you only get one life and I ain’t waiting around for you so don’t expect to be waiting and he didn’t like the response I gave him and before I like he’s like ‘ do you even care about me ‘ I said to him not as much as I used too. He did not like any of my answers but I am in a much better place after meeting him and so proud of myself for not feeling guilty. He’s an idiot and I don’t need that

[RHK36]

He's always had red flags, don't start forgetting why it went to shit. Move on woman.

[Krystal23]

Ok I can’t lie I did end up meeting up with him and he is the same person he was before and I definitely don’t regret meeting him I can move on with my life. He doesn’t want any commitment right now and I said to him you only get one life and I ain’t waiting around for you so don’t expect to be waiting and he didn’t like the response I gave him and before I like he’s like ‘ do you even care about me ‘ I said to him not as much as I used too. He did not like any of my answers but I am in a much better place after meeting him and so proud of myself for not feeling guilty. He’s an idiot and I don’t need that

[Stevefiveo]

I would not.

[Krystal23]

Ok I can’t lie I did end up meeting up with him and he is the same person he was before and I definitely don’t regret meeting him I can move on with my life. He doesn’t want any commitment right now and I said to him you only get one life and I ain’t waiting around for you so don’t expect to be waiting and he didn’t like the response I gave him and before I like he’s like ‘ do you even care about me ‘ I said to him not as much as I used too. He did not like any of my answers but I am in a much better place after meeting him and so proud of myself for not feeling guilty. He’s an idiot and I don’t need that

[Stevefiveo]

It seemed like you knew already, but now you have that confirmation and can move on. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Move on.