If I am unable to attract a woman, does this mean I am a failure as a human?

Question

I am 27, turning 28 this year. I have never had a real girlfriend and I hardly have any friends. I live alone in my apartment with my cat and I am incredibly lonely.

I am watching most of my peers growing up getting married, having kids, and/or both. Meanwhile, I am still single as ever.

You think, one of the most fundamental functions as a mammal and as a human is to find a mate and to reproduce. It is biology.

I am not asexual or aromantic. I am not gay. I am a straight white male who makes a decent income and can support a wife and a child. I am, however, shorter than most men. I am 5 feet 6 inches tall.

I really don't know anyone personally that is for sure in the same situation as me. Does this mean I am just too repulsive to succeed as a human male and reproduce?

Yes, I do want a woman without a romantic past like me, but with that aside, I feel I cannot get any woman.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

Do you have sucessful in a relationship friends?

Ask them if they'd be willing to set you up with anyone they know (people know people) and if you can take constructive feedback (it'll feel like criticism don't say I didn't warn you), ask them for it. In particular, ask your buddies girlfriend/wife since women know what women want (even if you don't agree with it).

The sad truth is that neither gender starts out a good partner. Most of us have to date a few people, grow up with someone else, and have someone else get on our ass for us to change the little bad habits.

Through little changes, we slowly blossoming into a responsible functional adults having a stocked fridge, taking out the trash, and knowing how to emotionally support someone else through highs and lows.

One thing I've found that some young men have struggled with is expanding their viewpoint of what's a real topic of conversation, or a real hobby, or something that's worth "anyones time". Like yes, a conversation about dish towels might not be exciting to you, BUT if it's exciting to your partner, you have to participate in the conversation without belittling, mocking, or completely tuning out what brought her joy or occupied her time.

It's little stuff like this you have to be open minded and realize that just because someone has different hobbies or interests, doesn't make them less intelligent or less hard working, it just makes them a different person who could still add value to your life.

Katya98 · Accepted Answer

Измени свою жизнь. Найдите новые увлечения, увлечения. Расширяйте круг знакомств. Попробуйте переехать в другой город. Я думаю, вам нужно выйти из зоны комфорта. В любом случае главное не сидеть сложа руки.

MarkRet · Accepted Answer

No, you're not a failure. Elliot Rodger is a failure. You shouldn't base your life on whether you get a girl or have kids, but that aside, if you ARE looking for someone, you need to work on yourself. Be positive, and get into things that expand your horizons, and give you a feeling of accomplishment and self-confidence, and also things you can talk about when you ARE on a date.

I was a very withdrawn and broken person in high school. I had very few friends, and certainly no girlfriends. I didn't know how to talk to them, or what to do, so I just didn't even try, and figured "That's just not in the cards for me." A couple of years after high school, I got a new job, moved away, and kind of left my screwed up old world behind. I started doing things I always wanted to do, like ice skating lessons, among other things, and it helped me break out of a lot of shells. I wasn't scared of girls so much, and I could make friends with them, and even though I still didn't know how to get involved with them in an intimate way, I was slowly learning from experience. I ended up getting married a few years later, even though I wasn't really trying to 'get' somebody. It just all fell into place.

Trying to find a girl with no romantic experience limits your options, since girls like to explore, communicate, and feel loved, but I guess there are dating sites where you can find the kind of person you want.

GoodManDave · Accepted Answer

Who knows why you might be having trouble... we can always theorize, and there are some generalities.

I am having problems getting dates as well. Unfortunately, I think a lot of it is beyond my control. and sometimes, that could be the case. You could be an awesome guy, and it's just not worked yet. Maybe there's a bad dating scene in your area. Maybe most women just don't go out. Maybe you don't. Maybe you're looking for the wrong women, but maybe those women might not be looking... maybe you hit a different "scene" from where they go. I can't say. Sounds like you got some things together... so just keep working on that stuff, improve yourself for you, and keep an eye out. Best advice I can give you without knowing you.

Twalli · Answer

The part you're failing at is your requirements. I found a virgin girlfriend who was 5.5 years older than me. I was not her first boyfriend, but I was her first sexual partner (in everything oral, vaginal, anal, etc.) Since I see romantic past as the past (because it is) I didn't care. Maybe it's the historian in me, but to me the past is only something that helps you learn. You can use it to inform the present and influence the future. She chose me based on what she knew she didn't want. She was my first girlfriend, so I didn't know what I didn't want. She still is my girlfriend. Also you have 2 inches on me, so the height argument is bullshit if you didn't want a girl around your age with not romantic history.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I think you're too focused on finding a girl without a romantic past, I think if you broadened your options a bit you might have more luck, it doesn't mean it will be easy but maybe not impossible.

Phoenix-gb · Answer

I'm with you on the feeling a failure as it just leaves you feeling completely unwanted and surplus to the requirements of society. I'd take being taken advantage of right now, but I'm not even good enough for that it seems.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Its not your height thats the issue its your mindset.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Have you actually tried to get a girlfriend and made a genuine effort to do so?

Wingmage · Answer

Do you have any interests and hobbies? If so join a hobby club.

Passion_Devil · Answer

No, mine is 5'3 and somehow got a hold of me and I couldn't be happier.

betrue0xx · Answer

you need to get out and not clubs! like go to social events (speed dating, music events, comedy clubs) and you need to find an empty seat with a girl sitting down and ask " hey mind If I sit here?" Strike up a conversation.

Anonymous · Answer

Just fine a shorter girl and maybe even a different nationality since I have better luck with that than white girls even though I’m white

anon1903 · Answer

No relationship is better than bad relationship.

flirtatiousgirl · Answer

I don't know inch can you translate cm

Anonymous · Answer

Never was a fan of human mating

If I am unable to attract a woman, does this mean I am a failure as a human?

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