Everyone has certain boundaries in relationships and different ideas of what actions they consider the worst… So, in your opinion, what is the WORST thing someone could do in a relationship?
My answer: I would have to say cheating and lying are equally the worst things someone could do in a relationship. Even worse, LYING about CHEATING is the worst thing you can do in a relationship.
Updates
1 y
And abuse, physical, emotional, verbal…
What is the WORST thing someone could do in a relationship?
I guess that, to me... and given the nature of relationships in which I have been, what would hurt me the most, even before cheating happens... is that they were not able to bring themselves to tell me about it and most likely they had stopped loving me
because that is the one reason I can think as to why would someone cheat on me, when you really love someone you just don't do these things. So, that would be the absolute worst to me... that they did not trust me to be open and speak about things before other things like cheating happened, and I would also be hurt that I didn't even realize that something was going on and that something changed
also, I think that another very shitty thing that could happen is if my partner decided to intentionally hurt, or chose to be careless about how I would feel about it and went on to hurt someone else I care for like a friend or my family (given that it was something uncalled for or not in retaliation for something my friends or family did to her first, which I could understand)
Well lying pretty much goes hand in hand with any of the worst things you could do, like cheating, stealing or mentally/physically abusing someone. Even with physical abuse there is some form of lying happening, its not like you started off a relationship with someone by telling them on day one that you would physically or emotionally abuse them. And for physical/emotional abuser they live in degree of denial about what they are really doing, because in their minds its all justifiable... so it living a lie on some level.
Other than lying or abuse...… anyone body with high degrees of insecurities usually ends badly. Money, complaining about or seeking greater finical freedom or benefit from a relationship.
I think cheating is up there, but I also can think of something even worse.
That is simply running off, disappearing without a trace to start their life over. Thus leaving me or whoever behind wondering what happened to them, unable to move on with life. Not sure if they were kidnapped, killed or what and may never know what happened.
This happened to someone I know, her mother ran off and abandoned them. No one knew what happened to her, then 20 years later she was found in another state, met another guy and started a family with him. Never told the new guy she was married before and already had a family, just abandoned the first one and started a new one, to start over cause she didn't like the first one.
Would of been better had they never found her, better to wonder what happened to her and never know.
You can imagine how her father must of felt to know his wife abandoned him without saying a word, all the stress and worry about it and endlessly searching for a missing person and fliers.
You know something I think you're on to something here at least with everything else has been brought up here and there's a cause and effect with ghosting somebody that's like is excusable like if I was to block you I will tell you why I'm blocking you and then block you which I don't think counts as ghosting it just blocks you. Like I had a girlfriend years ago and nobody has her for her since.
I think lying. In my head cheating is a form of lying because you’re being dishonest about your relationship with your spouse or significant other. Lying is just a broader category for us. We both make a lot of mistakes. What brings us back to our commitment to each other into non-romantic relationships is the ability to admit that you have made a mistake. Lying is the hardest to forgive and that’s what we’re trying to instill within our children.
I agree, betrayal is up there as the number one on my list, lying and cheating fall under that. Though honestly an even bigger one would be lying, or cheating, and exposing our kids to that. Instantly that would go from a serious problem to completely unforgivable.
Having witnessed some really toxic relationships there are a number of things
as @HeartFullOfGlue says Mentally, physically, and sexually abuse you, and emotionally.
Being in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic.
Also staying in a relationship when has ended but try to keep it going and it’s just ends up toxic, with each side blaming the other.
Yes lying and cheating figure, they are however usually part of a bigger thing going on within a relationship.
Its amazing how two people that at some point had deep feelings even love for each other, can really fuck each other or the other over so fucking much. Trying not to cause pain and suffering is key and this needs to be really thought about when ending a relationship.
Cheating is quite obviously up there as the worst, but lying? Unless it is to cover up something sinister, I don't have a problem being lied to. I think the worst thing, worse than cheating, even worse than physical abuse. and that is to mentally torture a person into believing they are nothing. I have seen it happen to girlfriends of some of my closest friends (EX friends) The first time it happened I was oblivious to it, I never knew, nobody did because she was too scared or too embarrassed to tell anyone, and she took her own life. Not a day goes by that I don't blame myself for it. She was the sweetest, most kind person who would do anything for anyone without ever wanting anything in return. I was very young at the time and just wasn't able to read the signals and cries for help. I swore I would never allow it to happen again to anyone I knew. Anyway, I digress, but that is the worst thing in my eyes!
'Amber Heard' them: Cheating, gaslighting, abuse, then smearing your reputation as a supposed rapist/abuser when the other person is the actual rapist/abuser.
Someone on here put the worst thing someone can do is use her for money…. Greed and/ir cheap is neither attractive or lovely. If sharing money with one you are involved with is that difficult, how do you ever expect to risk a relationship. Marry your Money…that just really blows my Mind 🧠. It must just be me…
For me it is invalidating the your partner, their experiences, opinions and emotions.
I've been cheated on, raped, physically and emotionally abused & being invalidated and gaslit into believing it was acceptable and it being my fault - is the worst thing anyone has ever done to me.
My father was all those things and more. He lied, cheated and gambled away every cent we had even stealing my piggy bank money box as a kid. I always wondered why all his friends hated us. He use to tell lies about us to his friends and they all treated us the shit. I honestly didn't care when he died.
Going by the word relationship and not marriage. I would say purporting to be something you are not, or purporting to not be somebody you are. I have known several people to date and not tell the other person they are in fact married. I know of a guy that lied about being a physician but in fact, was unemployed. Only an idiot would continue a relationship upon finding out. This is fatal to the relationship.
I disagree. Lying might be protecting the other as much as much it protects the liar. Everyone needs some level of privacy. And sometimes some things are just none of their business. I'm not advocating cheating. I'm not making excuses for it. But it's seldom done with the intent to harm. THAT I think is the worst thing one can do in a relationship, purposefully and willfully cause harm to the spouse. Being cruel on purpose.
Take that person for granted (and that's an umbrella term. Cheating falls under that). I like a line from the movie "With Honors" Joe Pesci says "When a woman gives you her love it's the greast gift in the world". Obviously this goes for both genders. But I say this because it's one of the short list of the things ( love, trust, respect) YOU CANNOT buy in life. It has to be EARNED! So in that sense it more valuable then gold.
Lying. I can forgive cheating as long as my partner tells me. No secrets, no deciept. But when you lie about it, your destroying the foundation in which your relationship was built on. Cheating would hurt but lying about it is definitely a deal breaker.
Be controlling. You're allowed to set your own boundaries about what is acceptable or not, but instead of enforcing them on your partner, just let them know, and call it quits if they don't meet your standards. Sometimes things work, sometimes they don't. Just let it go, gracefully.
Maybe one of the worst things in a relationship is letting a toxic (talk-sick) one steal your sunshine. Hold on to some of that energy instead of getting all tensed up physically and mentally. Got to put our own oxygen masks on first. I wonder how different the world would look if we all started getting into relationships where cheating was fine or even encouraged from the get go? Like why do we demand that one person fills all of our needs?
I agree with what the poster said. With all those as being the WORST I would say the second worst is not listening to your partner, just like the narcissists do.
