And feel free to explain your reasoning for the order of importance... Words of affirmation is the most important for me then comes quality time. After those would be physical touch since I’m extremely picky with who I allow to come that close to me. Acts of service has its moments wnd honestly kinda seems like another form of quality time so I’m not sure where to place it... but receiving gifts is last for me since its not a must have. I feel people who gift me things often expect something in return so i rather just buy for myself.#FeelFreeToList#LoveLanguages
I had to look up what some of these meant, just to be sure... lol
- Quality Time - Physical Touch - Words of Affirmation - Acts of Service - Receiving gifts
last for me is, receiving gifts... while I very much appreciate them and much more when they put detail and thought into them, it is not something I see as a must, however I do prefer to be a giver, not necessarily material gifts
it is similar for acts of service... I appreciate when someone does something for me, but I would hate to see it or to call it "being served" not the right approach for me, I much rather be helpful and supportive with one another in any ways we can and also want
words of affirmation in the middle, yes they are nice and needed as well... but I do consider ACTS of reassurance to be more important, not only express it with words but also showing it for real with your consistent and genuine actions, a combination of both would be ideal
and the first two, that I consider more important or meaningful at least to me, is quality time on both, why? because this is one that puts us on equal ground and it makes us a couple, a pair, two of us sharing and having the best time we can have and get so to me this is the most important one, whether is little or a lot of time, it should be of quality
and then would come physical touch because I see that as closeness... and closeness is very important to me, it speaks to me about confidence, comfort, trust, as well as commitment to one another... even if is just sitting next to each other while watching something on Netflix, I really like that closeness and to know that at any moment you can reach to one another, for anything you feel at the moment, whether a kiss, cuddling or kanoodling, or more... lmao
1. Physical touch 2. Quality time 3. Acts of service 4. Words of affirmation 5. Gifts
I put physical touch as #1, because in my opinion, physical closeness is the defining aspect of an intimate relationship. At least for me, I don't like people in my personal space, and I find that most other people are defensive of it as well.
The other four could easily be factors in platonic relationships as well, so I don't think they necessarily represent "love language".
I actually caught the wrist of my ex when he kept trying to feel me up on a day i wasn't in the mood. I almost broke his arm as i pinned him against the wall. And he was a strong guy. But when im mad, i can be strong too lmao
1. quality time- I don't need 24/7, but I think undisturbed time and attention is one of the most precious gifts you can get and give 2. touch - I am not really a touchy person, I only feel touching the ones that are special to me, so touching is something I reserve to people I love, also I don't want to be touched by strangers 3. words - it's third as normally actions speak louder, but sometimes it's nice to hear 4. acts of service - I won't take it someone is in love me if they do acts of service, it's more like the family and friendship category. 5. gifts - yeah, it can become an obligation, also, very few people are thoughtful enough to give a well-thought gift, something that the other person would actually like, because most people hardly know each other. I give gifts but it is mainly about myself, I want to feel good about myself, how amazing of a gift giver I am :D
1. words of affirmation 2. quality time 3. acts of service 4. physical touch 5. receiving gifts
That is usually how I would order them from most to least important, but I think it can change from person to person. With my current boyfriend, that list is accurate. With my exes, I think it was 1. acts of service, 2. words of affirmation, 3. quality time, 4. receiving gifts, and 5. physical touch.
The top 3 (words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service) are all equal and would be the #1 if possible lol. Then #2 would be physical touch. I really could care less about gifts lol.
I only knew of monogamy when I was younger as well, just because Dr. Phil says it does not make it so. Whether it's men or women, a lot of people are really nervous and uncomfortable making their own decisions (the setting varies), and they have a strong desire to be dominated. No matter what "love language" is being spoken, they will never be happy, and continue to search for a master to match their subby nature.
Take it as a joke, but I am being serious, there are a lot of people who very much enjoy being told what to do.
Acts of service is the most important to me. After that is quality time. A partner making time for me is extremely important because I want someone who is committed to me and makes me a priority. After quality time is physical touch. I'm a touchy feely person. I appreciate hugs and cuddling. Next is words of affirmation. Last is receiving gifts. I don't care about receiving expensive gifts. Gifts aren't that important to me because there are plenty of other ways a man can show me he loves me.
I legit told my grandma’s side of the fam that i hated makeup and nail polish and to never buy it. So for Christmas, they all bought it. I rejected each of their gifts to their faces. Petty whores
Receiving gifts - (this is my love language and it’s important for me) Quality time - (I used to see my man everyday) Words of affirmation - this boosts my confidence and keeps me motivated Physical Touch - I’m not a touchy person. Being touched irritates me. I gotta be in the mood to be touched. Acts of service - not very important to me. I do everything my self and I don’t need anyone to do anything for me. In fact I prefer doing things myself.
I fully agree with the physical touch stuff. Thats why im not big on cuddling haha. And by acts of service im referring to one similiar to quality time where they show you support and join you in activities. I dont mean when they do things for you
I like doing things alone. Shopping , going out to eat, going to the park… anything. I prefer doing it alone. Now when it’s late at night I wanna be with my man watching a good movie or a show , cooking, etc 😏
For example; My husband picking something up at the store so I don't have to go, helping get a project done around the house, pumping gas for me, holding my door open for me... those all make my heart go pitter-patter.
For me miss, It would start with quality time, then words of affirmation then physical touch and in the last receiving gifts. Sorry don't understand what does act of service mean, so I can't place a number on it.
Mine are physical touch and quality time, but If I have to order all 5 it's: quality time at number one , physical t., affirmation, acts of service and gifts at the end
I've never received any gifts from anyone I've ever dated, so IDC about gifts. As for the rest, those things don't matter to me anymore. Words of affirmation are hard to prove to be true anyway and what you call quality time might just be for her to show off with you that she has a boyfriend who likes her but that doesn't mean she likes you back. Acts for service mean they usually want something from you - a favor, money, or something else. You can't have sex without physical touch, so that's the only thing that matters.
Loving Words have no legitimacy except when accompanied by action. No proof.
Also, there nobody truly loves if they don't spend quality time... gift are super cheap... time is something you will never get back. A person will die and leave a gift behind... but the time they never spent with you is gone forever.
I dont always need proof. For example if the guy says “wow you look ugly today”. That would hurt. there's a better way to word that and thats where words of affirmation come in 🤣
I wouldn't stay with a guy who insults me. And I don't think many guys would say that to a woman they chose to be with. If he thinks I'm ugly this is every reason for him to avoid quality time with me in public lol... I don't but guys would still use butterfaces for sex. I prefer to spend enjoyable time with him him then him sending a text message compliment to affirm how he feels.
It isn't the same for everyone, I love his book. Read it several times and have taken the test several times. I'm actually
Physical Touch 37% Quality Time 33% Acts of Service 17% Words of Affirmation 10% Receiving Gifts 3%
I want to be touched and love and spend quality time with him, more than anything... gifts are my least favorite thing, just cause it feels so unthoughtful to me.
Probably cause so many have lied to me. I don't know how these things get started when we are young and growing up, but I know things have changed from when I first read the book many years ago and took the test.
I probably just don't believe people or think they don't mean it. So many have said things, like they love me but they just lied.
Its a good book, it isn't even that big either. Like 200 pages, cause it talks about how to fill your partners love tank based on love language. Explains a lot in detail and I'm having my fiancé read it right now. There is also a love languages app, for our phones that we link together to make sure we do something for each other each day, kind of interesting but I just installed it two days ago... so not a lot of use yet.
If someone's love tank isn't being kept full, they don't feel loved... and that ultimately could lead to the end of the relationship.
This was tricky to me because I would put working on projects together under quality time. Acts of service to me is more the gift of effort, rather than bonding over shared interests.
Yeah I don't mind giving gifts but I've never been necessarily the greatest gift to give her in order to express love. I like to give gifts from the heart but I'm also give gifts as something that someone I believe would need. I don't know gift given as a sign of love it seems like I'm trying to buy your affections and I'm not like that because I wouldn't want the same for myself
I think it varies on the person you date because you need to be open to how they express their love. I never liked gifts until my ex who did thoughtful ones such as high heels for interviews and a bookshelf because I love to read and had no storage. It became one of my favorite love languages because of the joy it brought him.
It differs from person to person. Different people will find different aspects to be most important. For me,
1. Physical touch 2. Acts of Service 3. Quality time 4. receiving gifts 5. Words of affirmation
I placed words of affirmation at the bottom because it's the easiest and laziest way of doing it and it doesn't really do ANYTHING in the real world. Anyone can say things but actions prove if they meant the things they said. Words are worthless without action.
Which is why im asking what yours will be and not there's... i totally expect us to all vary. And words aren't worthless because what you say matters. Sure you should act in accordance but what you say and how you say it to your significant other matters
Yep. Words of affirmation definitely rank first for me. I enjoy writing poems and telling them how much they are appreciated whenever I am in a relationship. But I've been single for over 9 years so I might not be able to write poetry anymore 😂
Why not base it off of what you’ve seen or experienced thus far? A love language means its what you need to even feel a connection with someone. So right now its like you’re saying that without getting physical first, you wouldn't even gain feelings for anyone
