As time passes it seems to get harder, why and how can I move on?

[Anonymous]

I was in a friends with benefits situation with him for 6 months & I knew him for what would've been 1 year soon. We were mostly long distance, he wanted a relationship but i knew ldr wasn't for me but we both liked each other & long story short we stayed as friends with benefits, although we spoke almost every day.. Well he abruptly stopped talking to me about a month & a half ago.. like dropped from the face of the earth mid conversation one night and I haven't heard from him since. He'd ghosted me in the beginning when we were just hook up buddies &he had told me before he was going through somethings that ended up escalating & well he had valid reasons that I could understand, especially given our nature at the time...
It's been a month & a half, yet as time keeps passing the worse I feel. I reached out once but after 2 weeks, I kept it pushing & just doing my thing.. This past week though something clicked & I've really been feeling hurt.. & I folded & sent him a paragraph.. & I can't help but feel silly, guilty & sad & mad & missong him, like I'm going through all the stages of grief now... when I thought I was handling it all very well.

[_jbli_]

Sorry for experiencing something like this. As difficult as it sounds, in my opinion, the best what you can do right now is accept the fact that he is not responding anymore. The more you message him, the more it will feed his ego, and the more it will hurt you when he ignores your messages.

Try to meditate and write a diary everyday. Write everything down of how you are feeling. If possible, keep asking yourself the why question to what you have written down. For example: Do I really like him? If yes, why? If no, why? Think of a why question again to the answer you give, and repeat.

I hope at some point you will be able to feel better and clear your minds of any lingering thoughts. Time is the healing factory in this case. If it helps, archive the chats with him, or even delete them. Hopefully you will be able to start your recovery journey.

[Asker]

Thank You. I'd been actively doing all the things you suggested and they were helping I think I just had a bad day or 3 when i posted this.. and needed someone to remind me of healthy coping mechanisms & how well they work. Thanks so much for the advice, feeling better (:

[_jbli_]

I'm glad that I could help, and especially that you are feeling better now. Keep it up and stay strong!

[Guy13]

You bonded and the more friends with benefits you do the easier to move on…and more intimacy is lost…

[Guy13]

And the more likely, due to chemical changes and neuron residing, you will never be able to form One long lasting and permanent Relationship

[Guy13]

The scientific research on this is by Neurologists. Data name is called “Hooked”. Read it for yourself