I need another perspective, does it seem like I am overreacting?

[Anonymous]

I am furious with my boyfriend. Many times have I told him how leaving me on read hurts as he is ignoring me. We had a very serious talk about this and said he would change. Then today I was opening up about SA to family, and he knew this. We both agreed that the way I was going about it wasn't the best way, but it was organised by another family member. Long story short, we agreed to call, he he then left me on read, I messaged saying I was able to call, he said, "it's up to you", I was already in tears from struggling so that pushed me away, he then said to call him, but I couldn't anymore. Anyways, he messages me back saying he understands. Before I could responded, he deletes it and leaves me on read. So it wasn't like it was an accident, he chose to leave me on read when he knows how badly it hurts. Then he was active multiple times after. Then when I finally opened up to the family about my SA, I went to go and message him an apologise for pushing him away, but then noticed he followed an explicit account that promotes her OnlyFans. I was shaking with anger. He chose to ignore me, and in such hard moments, he went to go and seek other women. I am extremely hurt. I have no idea if he subscribes to her OnlyFans. I have no idea if he messaged her. I feel like I don't know him anymore. I am so hurt. I held back from messaging him for two hours because I was furious. I messaged him a really long message explaining what he had done and how it hurt me. I know he is going to turn it back on me once he sees it. I don't think I will be able to move forward with this. Not after the multiple times I've told him how I felt about things He used to always bring up other women in arguments. When I told him how it was wrong and how I turn down other men in the relationship, he said it's not the same because men use women. So if that's how he thinks, what does it mean about the girl with the OnlyFans? I can't trust anything he says anymore.

Updates

1 y

We are done. I hoped he would realise the pain he caused me. He couldn't even admit it. I honestly had a lot of belief in him, but he couldn't even be there for me in the time I needed him most. I deserve better.

[dynamicyandere]

You deserve better. He wasn’t giving you the care, nurture, and consideration you needed. Honestly, by the way he was handling things, it sounded dysfunctional and toxic. I wish you the best with healing from this and I hope you can get the emotional support you need. You didn’t deserve to be mistreated like that.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I am still so angry at him. He thought I was defending the ex who raped me. Like wtf. I stood there telling my exes parents how shit their son was and how when I tell my dad, we will be ready to go to the police. But this guy couldn't admit he was wrong. Then he said that girls account was an old friends of his. So now he's looking at half naked photos of his friend? I am furious with him. He can go on fuck himself. He'll be out of my life for good

[dynamicyandere]

You’re very welcome. You have a right to be angry. Being with him would mean dealing with more lies, excuses, and drama that you don’t need right now.

[Asker]

Thank you. Yeah I do know I have the right to be angry. He has no right to be. He has no right to feel anything about this. I was going to give up my whole life for him. So much for him always telling me he "loves me", fuck him. I don't trust anything he's ever said anymore

[boggboss]

What are u asking tho as u told him somthing he does hurts u and he has done it again so now u have decided what you are going to do

[Asker]

Thank you for agreeing. I have told him multiple times. I just couldn't do it anymore. So we're done. It's stupid that I thought he would even understand just for a second how it makes me feel. But nope, I am the devil.

[bi-standard]

he's a narcissist he'll never care about your feelings will always make it your fault everything will always be about him. Be happy he's gone do not let him back in your life narcissists suck your life energy out of you. Trust me I know

[Asker]

I know now. There were so many red flags, but I thought he would change. He was so hard on me about everything. He speaks about respect, but wouldn't do the same for me. He doesn't understand how I feel. I was going to give up my whole life for him. Right now I don't know who's worse, the man who raped me, or this guy who believes I'll defend the guy who raped me. I hate him. I'm so fucking done with him

[spartan55]

What is SA?

[Asker]

Sexual assault