How to find love and be confident?

[Anonymous]

Hey guys,

I am writing here for an honest and friendly answer...

I'm a 21 year old female. I have long curly dark blonde hair, dark big brown eyes, flat nose, big lips, an hourglass-ish body, and tan skin. People often think I'm a blonde latina or from brazil.

I've always suffered from judgment and self image. It comes back to middle school when I was a skinny prick and guys would call me "skeleton", "fish" because of my big eyes, or poodle because of my curly hair. I would always wear uniforms in schools because "dress down day" made me scared. Scared people would see me, my body. I feel like, today, I love the way I look, but always need validation. I want ALL men to like me. ALL to find me beautiful. If I don't get approached at a night out I feel like i'm ugly all over again. I get jealous if a friend gets approached and not me... It's bad. I love all my girl-friends and find them cute, but I know the insecure part of me needs to be reassured too... I'll just die inside if a guy goes to my friend and leaves me unnoticed.

I did 3 years of modeling when I was 17-20 and it helped a lot for my self love. I learnt to accept myself and realized that people were paying for my image, signing me, and complimenting me a lot.. I did runway, magazines, e-shops... It kinda made me realize I am not what I've suffered fro... for years.

Men come to me (but certainly not all) and that's hard for me. Only a handful will talk to me... It's either they'll say I'm one of the most beautiful girl they've seen, or ask me to spend the night which sucks to me... I want a serious relationship but every time I see a guy I like, he does not come. It's the guy I find average that will end up coming and being a simp the whole time. I've just learnt to reject guys in a kind manner, and see the guy that I like, walk off. It SUCKS.

[SayLesss]

If they don’t approach you, don’t take it personally. Everyone was to feel validated but not many people are willing to make the sacrifices to make these things happen. Some women are so attractive that it makes men feel uncomfortable approaching. Maybe that’s the case for you. Some women are so demanding (demanding he makes sacrifices for her with little promise of return for him) that it discourages him. Maybe that’s the case for you. Some men don’t want to approach because then you might mix him up with all the other guys. You mentioned you want all men to find you attractive which in our heads means you want men to tear each other down for you. You want us to compete for you which is the problem. It may not be your intention but based on how men are socialized and wired, we interpret it as such and it messes with our internal chemistry. I speak as a collective so I’m generalizing, there will be men that appreciate you for xyz and these x, y and z might or might not be you. In English, some guys just don’t want to waste their time. Simps got nothing to do which is why they have plenty of time to simp. Those that got things to do have to decide whether you’re worth adding into their schedule, what value do you possess and can deliver that’s on par with what I bring to myself in my everyday life - example. Simps are depressed so your mere presence is enough for him. The men you want would ask this question and decide if you’re worth it.

[SayLesss]

And trust me, your beauty don’t mean shit.

[caring__1]

You're looking for an above average guy, yet you want to be validated by all men. Quality men are unlikely to be drawn to women who need validation from everyone. Those who seek quantity will rarely find quality. Learn to validate yourself. Our self-esteem will never improve as a result of anything handed to us on a silver platter. Our self-esteem improves when we challenge ourselves and gain a sense of accomplishment. Learn what qualities make for a healthy partnership, and then seek out those, rather than looks. Looks fade with time, but a quality partner improves with time.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Remember that there is all kinds of people in the world who like different things and different perspectives. You don’t deserve to be forced into any category or image you don’t want. There is truly a person for everyone, some people might think you’re exactly they’re type. Love yourself because you are going to find someone who thinks you’re perfect

[Anonymous]

Well based on your description you're not a very good person. You just think you are. But you're really not. You think all guys need to find you attractive. They don't really matter to you. Only their attraction to you. Work on actually caring about people. And you might at actually get better. Good luck.🙂

[LoveforYou]

You wrote a long story.
People on here don't have much time to read long stories (question)
You should precise it in possible shorten form.

[Anonymous]

Start being more brave and bolder around the guys that attract you.

[truthisthree]

you are fine

you don't need help