If a potential partner that you’re falling for and sees a future with wants an open relationship, what would you say?

Question

They tick all the boxes of your ideal partner, what would you say to their proposal?  This question is based on my last post where others do not prefer an open relationship…  What do you think?

starfoxxy90 · Accepted Answer

Actually my boyfriend who literally cheated on me and had been in open relationship which I never agreed upon.. He told me I was boring yet he did get caught and told me that I would not regret taking him back. He would keep denying that I was just overreacting and that he was not cheating on me between 2015 and until 2021. He was in so-called relationship with gold-digger female dog lol... which I already found the evidence and he kept on denying It would play off & told me I was just being overreacting. And even my Dad who sadly died from cancer in 2017. The Boyfriend of mine still kept saying he was dating me. He told his own mother and family that I dumped him and behind my back. So honestly I don't promote any open relationship because it's fair for anyone in the long run.

KAT247 · Accepted Answer

If that happened after I established a relationship with them and then they decide to tell me that that’s what they want, I’d consider the relationship fake and I’d leave immediately. I would lose all feelings at that point.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I would say, "I am so very sorry to hear that because, otherwise, I think we are a good match. But if you don't want monogamy, I wold never want to try to force you into that, so the only reasonable thing we can do is to say goodbye!" And I would turn and walk away.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

I'm open to it if we can agree to shared conditions.

Personally, I'm okay if there's sex outside of the relationship, but I need and expect romantic and emotional fidelity. (As in I'm the only "spouse" and the first person in my partner's mind).

There's a lot of conditions I'm considering (haven't done this in practice, exactly, yet):
- all partners need clean STD tests
- all partners must be childfree and/or on contraception.
- we get to meet new partners and have veto for any reason

I might also want my partner/myself there for the occasion.

Basically, if we can come to an agreement and keep our communication open, then I see no problem.

I've been cheated on before. It wasn't the sex with another person that bothered me. It was the lying and dishonesty that hurt me most. I get it if I can't give everything sexually my partner may want (I've got a pussy but hate anal and maybe my partner really wants that or wants cock).

USLegionary · Answer

If I was sexually attracted to them I'd agree to it so as to have sex with them but without any real intention to commit to a long term relationship of any sort because if she cheats then she Belongs to the streets. It similar to men when the have an friends with benefits relationship going on, she's good for hooking up with even having fun with but not for a long term relationship though the difference may be loyalty.

Stars12122 · Answer

I think this is really a matter of knowing yourself and what makes you happy. Each person is different but no one should feel they need to enter into a non-monogamous relationship just to keep someone.

Some things are deal breakers for a reason and I think this is one of those cases. Even if someone ticked all the other boxes if they hit on a deal breaker then the deal's off. I personally wouldn't want to be in a non-monogamous relationship. It's just not for me. Even if I was falling for someone I know it just wouldn't work. I would kiss them goodbye and wish them well.

Lionman95 · Answer

I´d say no because I fear her leaving me for someone different. For me an open relationship is such an issue because I´m born infertile with a low libido so sex isn´t that much of a focus to me. So if I allow her to sleep with other guys chances could be high that the relationship doesn´t last long.

@pinay_akoThat´s why I commented under the other question of yours that open relationships are a redflag to me.

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

I'm strictly monogamous, I can't sleep with two people and love both of them. If I'm doing that, my relationship with one of them is over. If he want a open relationship for himself, so he can see other people, then I don't care. At least the guy was open about it, I guess.

ADrifter · Answer

@pinay_ako - My answer would be... I don't have time for trash in my life.  Open relationships are for losers. It's cheating where their low morals & ethics are excused by a pathetic claim that their partner is okay with it. Reality is, most partners aren't unless they're also disrespectful/ignorant & lacking ethics / morals cheaters too.  These sorts of people don't give a fuck if their partner is okay with it or not. They'd cheat even if it wasn't "open" because all they care about is their own lousy lives.

Kaneki05 · Answer

So if they are the ideal partner then they would be be Bi so that when they say open relationship they mean themselves with other girls not guys. Since I would not be jealous of that.
Therefore ideal partner is as so because I have no problem with that. And if they meant with guys then that's not my ideal partner so it's a paradox to the question.
And you would really have to go by case on case bases to that but mostly it's gonna be a nah thanks.

idk87334F · Answer

HAHAHAHAHA no. NEVER EVER. If they ticked off all the boxes of my ideal partner, then they wouldn't even have mentioned about wanting an open relationship because that's DEFINITELY off the table. I don't know, I just feel that a romantic relationship is for two people only, and if that person can't accept that, well then he wasn't the one for me in the first place. Just no.

MCheetah · Answer

That would kill all romance, then and there. I couldn't be with a woman who doesn't respect me/won't respect me. Though I have two bigger, more serious dealbreakers: Trans (a male) and bi (lesbian). Those are "no shot in Hell" traits only barely worse than being a cheater/whore. Trust is a two-way street.

GingerGuy · Answer

Well that changes "see a future with" and "tick all the boxes" with a lot of people. It probably would with me. It makes those statements untrue, you just didn't know that part about them before.

ChiTown33 · Answer

No. There's nothing more to say. When I choose her. I mean ONLY her. I DESERVE the same respect. If she needs the love, honor, and commitment of more than one man then I'm not the man for her.

MrOracle · Answer

She can find someone else to have an open relationship with. Either I'm the only man in her life, or I'm not in her life.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Sounds to me that they aren't interested in being faithful and monogamous. Nothing like giving someone your permission to cheat, which is the only future that kind of relationship offers. You are basically a friends with benefits/fuck buddy.

Kori1236 · Answer

No, I’m monogamous I don’t share. So if they wanted an open relationship they wouldn’t tick all the boxes for me. Better for us both to part and find our person than to say and try and make open work when I’m opposed to it

RavVid · Answer

Well along the lines of the last answer if she says "Guess what Honey! We're having a baby!!", I don't think I'll be wanting to say "That's Great Honey! Do we know what color it will be?"

Nah. Count me out.

Dinklex3 · Answer

If they want an open relationship then they aren't for me. That's a deal breaker and their interest in that shows that they do not check "all the boxes".

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Deal breaker for me. We don’t share certain values, so… next.  I dated a guy who is great in many ways. However, he takes drugs. That relationship ended.

Rose_84 · Answer

No they don't tick all the boxes if they want an open relationship. My requirements are : Exclusivity, unwavering loyalty and only loving one person no matter what.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Depends on parameters. Open for both of us? Just seeing others or bringing people into our bed (threesomes/foursomes)? Would need to discuss then see how I felt

Twalli · Answer

By wanting an open relationship, they wouldn't be ticking all the boxes

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Id ghost them. I don't have the energy to discuss dumb shit any more.

NathanDavis · Answer

no thanks... I am not a fan of going to bed extra worried about STD's or wondering if those babies are mine or not... lol

LazerBean · Answer

Honestly someone like that would not be able to tick many of my boxes at all. I wouldn't associate with someone like that.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

If they say they want one, down the line, and we've already entered one, then they're already living one without me knowing. Ergo, cheating.

Bambalicious · Answer

If you’re not wanting an open relationship but they do then the relationship will never work. You’d just be hurting yourself.

Zolly99999 · Answer

I don't know what to tell you.. it's a tough one

Kabluie · Answer

I'm in an open relationship currently, so meeting an additional partner that agrees with such that's even more attractive to me.

Amy10223 · Answer

I would say no. I cannot share someone with someone else.

irmaavila301 · Answer

Noooo unless that’s what you are into as well. For me no

Andres77 · Answer

When I was younger... I probably would have done this but... checking ALL the boxes but ONE would be a better description.

MannyFrs · Answer

fuck no. what is with people wanting these opeen relationships? do the guys promise to wipe it off before coming over and do the girls swear to wipe it out? Like seriously wtf. lol wash and reuse

boredgal · Answer

personally I won't agree. open relationships aren't for me.

goaded · Answer

No. Just no. That's not what commitment means.

Brammer54 · Answer

Nope. Nope. Nope. It's a disaster. Just walk away. You'll find someone else with the same qualities eventually.

Ryfyle · Answer

Just bail. It's never an Open Relationship if one side wants to sleep around, which is typically how it works. Just bail and find some one else.

Xtendable · Answer

Discuss the pros and cons, if it is due to any shortcomings in the relationship, how it might enhance their future together, if it was entertained, what boundaries would be put in place, etc

Sarahplus2 · Answer

No. I don't do these. It's a reason to run around and hump everyone

FilmGuy93 · Answer

"I'm good dawg" and then I would exit stage left.

madgoat · Answer

You're a sweet gal but it's totally not my bag, miss. In those exact words :-)

Sparkie460 · Answer

Open relationships usually end up failed relationships. I'd say no thanks. Have a good life

OddBeMe · Answer

“You open my Amazon boxes and you’ll be buried in them.”

msc545 · Answer

No. In open relationships, the women go fuck a lot of other guys and get a lot of sex, and the men sit home mostly.

Iron_Man · Answer

Absolutely no way never that’s committee adultery

Jltakk · Answer

Maaaaan, I'd simply walk away. Its a recipe for disaster. Also, it'd be my first relationship, wouldn't want to share it with someone else.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I would say no

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Hard pass. Deuces, I am out.

Marshymallow · Answer

I would end it. Not my thing

TenderFantasy · Answer

Then he wouldn't be my ideal partner.

Hoomin · Answer

Nope ! Can't dot it

Gent207 · Answer

Not a future I would want

StevieNix · Answer

I've never really understood it.

BCA6010 · Answer

That's an automatic no-go for me.

spartan55 · Answer

"It's been real nice, bye now."

Lucy68 · Answer

No I'm sorry but no

Avicenna · Answer

I'd say 'BYE!"

anon1903 · Answer

We're in the same boat.

qwert1234 · Answer

Open relationship? Nope.

MrPickles13 · Answer

That would be a complete deal breaker for me.

Chaser3232 · Answer

Nope, that’s a red flag!

If a potential partner that you’re falling for and sees a future with wants an open relationship, what would you say?

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