So I mean this like when someone in the relationship think it will be easier to just end it and move on rather than try to work on something together. Most of the time in my experience that person always comes back…. Do they just need to realize how much they love the other person or what?
A lot of people have the idea that "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" - i. e., "I'm bored or frustrated with what I've got, and so instead of working on it, I'll just leave and find something better."
What they often forget is JUST HOW HARD it usually is to find a good partner, because those other people that you want to be with also have to want to be with you (in a committed relationship), and for most people, that's not easy to find. And after a while, they realize that they had it pretty good, and should have just worked on their issues or maybe just realized that ALL relationships take work, and will have periods of time when you feel bored or less excited, but it's YOUR JOB to work through those times - together - and also to have reasonable expectations.
Despite Disney fairy tales, you'll NEVER "live happily ever after" - that's a fantasy. In the real world, life is hard, and if you have a quality partner, it will still be hard at times, but working together, you can get through the hard times more easily. Way too many people expect that, once they get into a relationship, they're literally supposed to be happy every day from then on, and that's a ridiculous expectation to have. Life is NOT a fairy tale! But it's that mentality that makes them think that they can easily find something better - even though that's rarely the case.
This is why I have a policy - something I figured out in my early/mid-20s: If I get into a relationship with a girl, she is free to leave at any time. If she doesn't like me or how I want things done, the door is right over there, and while I may ask her to think long and hard about leaving, I'm never going to try to stop her by force. BUT... that's a one-way door, and once she walks out of it, there's no way back in... ever. There will be no breaking up or threatening to break up because you're trying to use that as leverage. If you want to leave, then go - but the second you do, that's the last of the relationship, forever.
I don't want messy relationships, so I set clear boundaries and expectations, and she can accept them or walk away. I hold myself to the same standard as well. When I have a problem, I COMMUNICATE about it, directly, in clear, straightforward words so that the meaning is clear, and I expect her to do the same. It's amazing how you can solve most problems pretty easily this way before they grow into huge problems.
This reminds me of those couples who keep breaking up and getting back together and breaking up and getting back together.
To me, it shows a lack of emotional maturity and conflict resolution skills.
These people, instead of working to fix underlying issues in the relationship, choose to run away from the problem, thinking it will fix itself.
And, they’re breaking up in an emotional outburst to escape the tension and perhaps as part of throwing their emotional tantrum.
Of course, since the decision to break up was made in the heat of the moment out of impulse, it wasn’t a well-thought-out decision. The decision is followed by regret. They calm down. They begin to miss each other. And they get back together.
Breaking up at the first sign of discomfort and irritation is a very unhealthy way of going about relationship conflicts. It’s what dysfunctional couples do.
And, it’s a huge red flag and dealbreaker for me personally. Breakups for me are permanent decisions—those decisions are final—and I never break up with someone until I’ve put many weeks (or months) of deep thought into it.
I see it two ways
1. People don’t know what they have until it’s gone
2. Toxic couples will drag on a relationship , go back and fourth/ on and off instead of coming to terms they just aren’t compatible and are too selfish / love hurting each other until there’s absolutely zero love/like left
Opinion
2Opinion
It is likely the other option fell through. Not always but often 🤷🏻♂️
Its probably because they found out what they wanted was unavailable (or?), so they came back to try and get back what they had.
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