My boyfriend don’t have dreams, goal, and not interested in bettering himself and he finds that completely normal. Is this just a lack motivation?

[Anonymous]

I have a huge problem with him and is that he has no dreams, no goals in life besides things related to his hobbies, and he has no interest in self-improvement.

He has a decent paying job but he hates it. There’s no goals of where he wants to be in 5-years. He just wants to keep this job because he can easily slack off. There is also no interest in working hard or hustling for money. He doesn’t even want to make more money. Not interested in becoming a manager or advance in his career. He just wants more free time for his hobby.

He doesn’t think not having any goals is a problem. I think he lacks motivation in life and mainly he is just lazy. One thing I really dislike was how he went to confide in a friend of this issue. His friend told him that this is absolutely normal to not wanting more or have goals in life. That was all it took for him to confirmed he shouldn’t have motivations. Your friend would not tell you that you are not normal. I see that his friend is actually very motivated to better himself! In my opinion, it is not healthy to not have any motivation in life. It really frustrates me because he just wanted to hear what he wanted to hear and that’s that. In fact, he came back to me explaining that it’s a cultural difference problem. And that it is only my family culture where we hustle and always looking to improve ourselves and expanding our income.

Your boyfriend lacks motivation, don’t want to better himself, not ambitious, and lazy

He is normal to not wanting to better himself.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Lol, sounds like he found someone he thinks will "settle" and now his lazy househusband nothing-but-video-games-and-porn phase is kicking in.

He's only going to get worse.

Men like this are like the men who post on here whining that "oh, women have such unrealistic standards" that, yknow, having basic life goals is somehow impossible to achieve.

Leave him. Seriously. If you really want to know your future with him, I'll tell you. I dodged a massive nuke that behaved just like yours does.

[MrOracle]

This is exactly the kind of thing that women need to vet men for: morals, values, and LIFE GOALS. I'm sure his life goals haven't changed since you've known him, and you shouldn't expect them to change in the future.

I certainly don't recommend being with a man who lacks the motivation to improve himself. I don't think a man should be pushed to kill himself to provide luxury either, but it doesn't sound like you are being unreasonable - you just chose the wrong man believing you could change him, but you can't. Your job is to find a man that ALREADY has the morals, values and life goals that you are looking for. This guy ain't it.

[caring__1]

This is his normal. Girls need to stop choosing guys to mold into their ideal. No one's saying you need to stay with him, but the more you pressure him to change, the more resistant to change he'll become and the less likely he'll take your feelings into consideration. Never assume others are eager to accept your normal, no matter how much sense it makes to you.

This is who he chooses to be. Accept that fact, and then decide what you want to do with your life.

[Dinklex3]

He's content.

I wouldn't call being content "lazy" as he has a job. Some people are fine with where they are at. Their criteria of what they want in life has been met and they just aren't ambitious for more. You can't push people to do things they don't want. He has to want to accomplish these things himself. If it's an issue then maybe he isn't the right one for you.