Pt 2 of First time throuple, how to deal with these feelings of jealousy and insecurity?

[Brinadarlingxx]

I know it’s stupid but I don’t want them to be around each other without me. It makes me feel like I’m the 2nd person. Living in a different place doesn’t help. If we keep on, he’s going to see her more often than I see her and they’re already way closer. I want to be close to her too but there’s the language thing and the fact that our schedules don’t mix well. I’m only here 2 or 3 days a week, once a week or every 2 weeks. He said he understands that I need to take things slow but it’s hard for me to do that when I’m worried about them being together without me. He doesn’t want to take it slow. He’s going into this so fast, I mean it is what he wanted. I feel like I need to speed it up because he is jumping in emotionally. He likes her a lot and she likes him. He said that she said she likes me too but her and I just don’t converse as much as them because the language. Right now it’s a mess. I don't know what to do. He says I attacked him with something I was asking about and made him feel like he’s cheating on me. I tried so hard to talk to him calmly and rationally but he still got so mad. He felt the way he felt and responded very emotionally and defensively.

[ohsheeT]

Welcome to life this is what life's all about is going through these type of experiences it's not the pain of the hurt that you get or that you're supposed to feel what you're supposed to feel is the feeling of understanding that you cannot control anybody except for yourself you have to understand people or people you can't make them like you you can't make them love you you can't make them hate you whatever they do is on them whatever you do is on you you are the only person inside your body that can feel what you feel and when you come to the understanding that you can give yourself to anybody but that doesn't mean that they're going to give themselves to you because of their life experience but they want to experience they're going to do no they do something stupid of course it's going to hurt you but if you know in your heart that that is just who they are you have to accept it and either move on or accept it and stay there with it when you understand life you understand that you have to be neutral on God devil right wrong yes no hello goodbye positive negative once you have an opinion are you way to one side then that's what makes you feel and that's what makes you hurt or that's what makes you explode or that's what makes you happy if you stay neutral and you understand hey that's just that person I should not have believed them because they are who they are and you can't control them you can only believe in yourself you can have the best relationship in the world and one day all of a sudden you find out that they're having an affair first of all you're upset because they did that to you but you're more upset at yourself but you didn't see it happening or maybe you did and you didn't do anything about it but that's when you have to take a step back and say I did all I could do in my power to show this person how much I love them and this is what they do to me and you have to move on because that's who they are you or somebody that knows you can't control them you can't tell them what to do you just have to move on and live your life and knowing that you are the best that you can possibly be you are the best lover you are the best provider you are the best girlfriend you are the best at anything you do and that's all you can ask of yourself and when somebody screws you over because of something they did that's on them that's not on you you have to move on you cannot get jealous you cannot be hurt well you can let me take that back but only for a few minutes you're bigger than that and you have to understand that's them they did what they did now you have to do what you have to do because you are one with yourself and this universe and that's the life experience that you're headed for when you are one with everything on this planet nothing can hurt you it might phase you for a minute but in the long run in reality you are a bigger better person you cannot control nobody else except for you you're the only person inside that can make you feel anything and become anything that you want to become

[RobT312]

You are married right? This isn’t a throuple, this is your husband with a girlfriend in the side. I am in a throuple for example where the three of us now live together and sleep in the same bed. Change the situation or you will be unhappy. You need to talk in person without her and fix or end it

[joeldalton]

lol, this is why these types of relationships are a dumb idea.

[DavidRaul]

You should get out of this arrangement

[Anonymous]

Don't ever get involved in the first place.