My boyfriend has never come to my birthday dinner with my family…am I right to be angry?

[Anonymous]

It’s been the same way for 3 years now, he is from a weird family where they don’t care about birthdays or special events but he knows they are important to me.
Three times now he has blown off my birthday dinners with my family, always some excuse that he’s busy with his own family stuff…but he will spend the night after with me and take me out for a birthday dinner etc, just the two of us.
Am i right to be angry? I just feel like I’m not a priority to him sometimes…his family are always the most important thing and he never puts me before them…

[Anonymous]

This is a tricky one... you picked him... you know these things are not that important to him.. I can totally understand being upset if he's making up bs excuses to get out of it, but I also don't think you have a right to force him to go. As an italian who grew up in a VERY close family, I see the ENTIRE family at just about every holiday including labor and the 4th of July. I see quite a lot at birthday dinners too. My girlfriend is the suuuuuuuper shy type and large groups scare the fuck out of her. Do I want to bring her to family functions? Hell yeah. Would I ever make her go? Nooo way. I know she'll just be extremely uncomfortable the entire time. I always ask, but the option is always hers. I knew this about her early on and it's not my job to change her. She has gone to a few over the years, but avoids them for the most part. I could blame her for not caring enough about me to go with me, but that feels pretty fucked up, in my opinion.

[maximumpower]

What excuses has he had?
If they're legit, then no.
If he's making them up, then maybe he doesn't care for at least one person in your family.
Stop and think that one of them may have said something to him w/o your being around.

[Anonymous]

if you feel like you aren't a priority to him, that's because you're not. sorry to be so blunt. his excuses are so stupid. does he know it's important to you? if so, then he doesn't care. you will likely never be #1 to him and that sucks and you don't deserve that in a long term relationship. dump him please. or at least have a longgggg talk with him and how he is making you feel. this is unacceptable. i can only imagine what your anniversaries are like.

[LazerBean]

Sounds like bogus excuses. Probably should have started the serious talks and evaluation about 2 years ago.

[macjets007]

100%. If a girl asked me to go to dinner with her and the family I'd be really happy lol Who is this dude lol

[noohair]

I would call it a red flag.