Girls, How to win her back?

[PeteBy]

Basically. I failed her. Let her down. She hasn't ruled out reconciling. I have a short fuse at the best of times, which has served her well on occasion. But also can be a negative.

Look. We've separated after 11 years and sit alone wondering how I can win her back. She's not ruled it out.

I know I need to rail in my temper, but that has served her well so when, how if it happens.

Look. I am just looking out for her in a big city.

Drink also plays a part and I am more than willing to stop.

Sensible advice ladies. Just want her back and I know the obvious.

What can I do? I love her so much.

The thing I don't get is she wants to be independent (which I love) but relies on me. Sometimes I just don't know when she wants support.

[Emiliamazing]

It sounds like there are some aspects of your life she would want you to stop, that may help the temper. We both have tempers in our house, and it has been easier for me too subdue mine, and I think it’s that protector or unhealthy father figure mentality that he is trying to work past. So if you think that enjoying a drink is influencing the behavior you want to quit, then it might be a good idea to stop that in what way has your temper served her well? Focus on the good parts and try to eliminate the bad parts of your temper.

[PeteBy]

Thank you. Very helpful.

[Emiliamazing]

You’re a little younger than my husband, and I get it. I hope you get back together, and I hope she loves you as well. That will be necessary

[PeteBy]

Thanks. Very sweet of you. I think it's more a re-definition of roles. I was brought up to be the protector, but times have changed.

[Subarugirl]

Stop stop drinking and go to anger management. Actions speak louder than words, if you say you’re going to change then prove it.