Clingy friend won’t stop texting?

[Anonymous]

Hey guys, so I have a new friend I met at work he’s a good 10 years older than me, but I believe he had a hard life doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends. He got fired from the job, but He texts me constantly ! I’ve said twice stuff like ‘I’ll text you next week’ and he never listens he will text the next day and all weekend, it stresses me out. Honestly, it has put me completely off him! I have a life a boyfriend a small business along with my full time job! As well as this, if I was to answer my texts go blue straight away as if he is sitting there waiting for me to respond! We got along great at work for 8 months, but now I feel guilty that I am feeling he is strange and I want away from him :( I don’t sit on my phone all day not even to my closest friends! Now when I see texts I just get angry! Any advice would help!! Thanks all :)

Updates

1 y

He’s definilty lonely, but to rely on me a girl in a relationship doing a million others things has taken it’s toll on me. I know I sound horrible but do I need to stay friends just because he’s lonely? I am not going to lie he wanted to go for lunch a few days ago and I really didn’t want to see him. I wish him well but I don’t honestly want to hang out anymore I think he’s pushed me away with not respecting my boundaries in texting

[D_Bone_Steak]

Yeah, the guy sounds pushy. It's really bad if you're to the point of getting pissed off at seeing texts from the dude. I've been married for over a decade and unfortunately, there's been more than a few guys that's done this shit. It's always the same pattern... a total sob story of woe is me, and just way too ultra chatty. It's one of those situations where my wife eventually hands me the phone and asks me to get rid of the guy. All it takes is for me to be like "yo, this is the husband... what do you want?" and the guy stops after apologizing or cussing me out.

That will work if your boyfriend is willing to do that for you, but if you want to handle it on your own... start ghosting and ignoring it. It's like fire and every time you respond with anything at all, it's like adding some wood to the fire. I would suggest getting the boyfriend to scare him off because when my wife has tried to do what I just said... the guy can start doing crazy shit like showing up at her work or just happening to be around at any activity. It's best to let him expose his intentions and get it over with.

[caring__1]

Your actions reinforce his actions. If he didn't get responses from you, he would have found someone else to latch onto. I sense you want to be nice, considerate and kind, but your actions are telling him it is OK to walk all over you. Don't have your boyfriend fight your battles. You don't need to respond to any or all his texts. If you feel you have to respond, then send short texts like "busy," or "spending time with my boyfriend," or "lost in the moment... can't focus on distractions," or "work's overwhelming now." Your actions will determine his future actions with you.

[ShellyB]

You do not sound terrible it's good that you have tried to be a friend to him as much as you have. I think I would only reply once a day and don't feel like you have to respond to every comment or question and be friendly but you don't need to spend as much time on it as he does, for example if he sends 30 texts about a football game you can respond later to all 30 texts at one time by saying something else about the football game or saying you didn't watch it but heard about it or whatever.

He is probably lonely and maybe clinging to you as his best social outlet or connection to when he was working or something like that so I would try to be supportive but it is not fair or realistic to ask you to make texting with him a top priority.

[dustybiker]

When he texts text back “Want to say I saw your text, but in the middle of something at the moment”

If you do this enough it lets him know, over a bit of time, you aren’t available 24/7.

He should ease up on his own. It’s better than ghosting and easier than being blunt.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I think this girl could be in danger and not even know it. Would I be completely wrong for assuming that?

[dustybiker]

@D_Bone_Steak It is safer to suspect anyone of causing you harm that will cross lines like this. People generally have to prove themselves.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Jeez... I'd rather be safe than sorry.

[dustybiker]

@D_Bone_Steak She can always choose to fear and distance herself from everyone. I have a different look though having worked with so many with disabilities.

[rooster44]

Making friends is easy when your in grade school and you spend 8 hours 5 days a week with several people the same age as you. When you get older you aren't with your peers as much and making friends isn't as easy.

he's maybe been alone for a while like you said and I take it you don't dislike him you just don't want to feel smothered by texts every day.

I think a good solution would be to invite him to a bar or a live show or some type of public event and *stage* a *friend date* basically plan for another person to be there so he will have more than just you as a friend and he will also have a second friend so that way when your unavailable he has someone else he can chat with.

[FckY0u998]

what did he do that was so wrong for you to hate him as much as you do? i mean he just texts you omg the horror. ffs get over yourself and get off your fucking high horse you're not god's gift to men regardless of what society says just because you have a smelly hole between your fucking legs

[Asker]

Please tell me your age is wrong speaking to me like that. You must of been one of these clingy people to react like this.

[Asker]

The point is I don’t want to hurt his feelings but I don’t want to text 24/7 I don’t hate him i just don’t want to be relied on so much by anyone

[Asker]

Lunatic

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Just tell him like it is that you need a break cause he is texting you way too much better to tell him like it is.

[_Just_A_girl_]

Block em temporarily