I love my husband but never really was in love (infatuated) with him, normal?

[Anonymous]

I do love my life companion of 4 years and father of our little bundle of joy that just turned 4 two days ago. I got married at age 34 and he was 43.

The only thing is I never experienced the infatuation stage with him, never felt that. There is the point in the beginning that you idolize the person so much that they are a king to you, you're so madly in love and undergo deep passion. That never happened. I love him but not in that intensive manner. Though we get along great and have accepted each other's flaws. I like them.

Is this normal?

Updates

1 y

I love him yes. Do I want to grow old with him, yes. Do I feel butterflies in my stomach and was I ever infatuated with him? Nope

[TroyDT2]

I avoid the infatuation stage because emotions lie! When I love it is by choice. My questions are always, "Is she a decent person?" "Is she active or a couch potato? and "Do we share some interests?"

[AviatorTom]

More normal than some would believe. Relax and enjoy your life...

[AviatorTom]

Thanks for the mho

[OlderAndWiser]

I think the infatuation phase falling by the wayside happens to many people as they get older and are more experienced with relationships.

[Guy13]

What’s Normal in Love ⁉️

[Guy13]

Do you mean yiu never lusted for your husband but still enjoy sex⁉️

So yiu mean that you know from feeling and doing that he loves you and is deeply devoted ⁉️ And you are the same ⁉️

[Asker]

In love means you put that person in a pedestal to the point of idealizing them. You think about the moon and the starts... and that type of nonsense thing. I don't feel that. I love him as a mature adult where I accept his flaws and we are a team.

[Guy13]

To me In Lust described what you describe as Love. They call this love, Eros or sexual love.

When I think of love I think of Agape which is a self-giving and sacrificial love.-To me this is the underpinnings of Love.
Phileo is a brotherly or close friend love.

For me the formula of Love would be 2 part Agape, 1 part Eros (sex/lust), and 1 part Phileo (friend/brother).

Which one is missing ⁉️

[Asker]

Yes I've never lusted over him but the sex is good.

[Guy13]

Sounds like you’ve got it made to me 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Vesuvius87]

After a certain age, the infatuation stage doesn't faze anymore. You don't care about being in love and the feelings of butterflies in the stomach. That's short-lived anyway. You care about having a stable life, willing to accept each other's flaws, know not every days are good, commitment and kids; aka the mature adult love.

[FilmGuy93]

As long as you're satisfied in the other aspects of the marriage, that sounds like a very healthy and mature form of love.

[Asker]

Yes. I love his company and accept his flaws. I like them.

[FilmGuy93]

Is the sex satisfying? Like, genuinely satisfying?

[Asker]

Yes it's good

[FilmGuy93]

Sounds like a great relationship/marriage then!

[KrakenAttackin]

You are a "buzzer beater" who grabbed the first acceptable simp you could find after you got off the cock carousel and realized the wall was rocketing toward you.

[Asker]

You're not even worth arguing over. I only felt infatuation once long ago and he's dead. We were 19 back then. He got in the way of a drunk driver that was heading towards my direction. He pushed me out of the way on time but he died several minutes after exchanging our last ''I love you''. I'll never know how the relationship would've ended or if maybe I would've ended up married to him if he didn't die. I've never felt infautation nor lusted after a man since.
But I can assure I do love my husband. It's the adult type of love (not the one you're lusting over) where we accept our flaws.

[KrakenAttackin]

The "adult" kind of love, meaning he loves you and you see utility in him. Classic.

[Anonymous]

Sounds very normal to me.

[Asker]

yes.. maybe it's perhaps because we were already adults and think of things differently than if a couple of teens were thinking