Almost Cheat but fixed, What to do?

[Wolfynight]

I told my boyfriend that I wasn't going to be able to call and text him a lot, and the next day my friend (who had no idea we were together) texted me and told me that she was going on a date with 'my boyfriend'.

But then texted me and said that HE said, he couldn't date her because he was dating me and he would have to let her know if he changed his mind.

I confronted him about it and he said it was an "aw dang" moment and he wanted to see if he could still get women?

We have smoothed things over but i'm still cautious, i didn't break up with him because he DIDN'T follow through and wanted to give him a second chance.

Do I have a right to put boundries and be extra cautious?

Updates

1 y

I broke up with him, things built up and he was about to do it to me and I got more angry than sad.

[PrettyPriya]

Yes, you absolutely have a right to be extra cautious. Doesn't matter if he didn't go through with it. It is on his mind. That you know for sure now. I wouldn't even have given him another chance, but that is me.

I would have broken up with him. He has a cheater's mindset. That is something that is unlikely to change. There will come one day when he will be bored for whatever reason and start thinking about it again.

My question is, how did he not know he was trying to hookup or go on a date with your friend? Does he not know your friends, or is this friend not very close to you? Just curious is all.

You can do what you think is right, but I would break up with him for the reasons I mentioned. If you do give him another chance, you have every right to be cautious and wary of his behaviour. He should consider himself lucky you didn't dump him. Most girls would have.

[Wolfynight]

Thank you! I hadn't gotten around to telling my friend because him and I had been going for about a week and I just didn't get the chance to tell her. I'm not sure if he realized it until after the fact?

[whiskeyontherocks]

Pretty priya is right I think you need to consider that it only took a week for him to even think about it

[PrettyPriya]

@whiskeyontherocks exactly. Totally agree with you there:

[Monalisa77]

If ur only going out a week are u really a proper couple?

[whiskeyontherocks]

Simply answer “yes”
Proper or not you’re a couple

[Bellona]

I do not think it is worth staying with him. If he wanted to see if he could still get women, that means he does not care about you completely. If he did, he would not care if any other woman likes him; he would only worry about caring for you, so you don't leave him. Personally, I was you. I would leave him because i want a mature man, not a boy. Well, it seems that you are 20 years old, I mean, there are plenty of single men who are looking for a good woman, and you have plenty of time to look for another man. Oh, and if he did want to see if he could still get girls, he would ask you if that is ok with you, and you would do it together if you agreed. Why did he do that behind your back if he loves you?

[RangerBlue22]

Ah this doesn’t look good at all. It’s one thing if a random girl approached him and she didn’t know he was taken. His response should be (and always should be) “hey thank you but I have a gf”. It’s okay to feel flattered in a moment but quite another to consider indulging it.

How old is this guy? Men will always feel impulses even when they are dating a beautiful woman. It’s when they start thinking seriously about acting on those impulses then it’s a major problem.

[Wolfynight]

The thing is we talked bout the future and stuff.. I'm just a month older than him. And i want to broach the subject but I don't want him to think that I am dwelling on the past and seem toxic?

[RangerBlue22]

The question would of he done if she wasn’t your friend? I mean they were literally planning to hang out.

[Wolfynight]

oh... i see what you mean

[RangerBlue22]

How long have you been dating him?

[Wolfynight]

we've been together a month or so now

[RangerBlue22]

It’s very premature to call it official. He likely doesn’t see that as solid at all. It takes 3 months AT LEAST to be true girlfriend and boyfriend. On his end he’s wondering if you might one day instantly dump him, ghost him or cheat on him. That’s why he’s semi still looking around.

Anyway given its early his mishap with your friend can be forgiveable. But if he does something like that 6 months from now it’s a different story.

[Wolfynight]

yea i get that, thnxs

[OlderAndWiser]

You didn't say whether you have been dating for two months or two years, relationship is sexual, dating exclusively, talked about marriage, living together, or any other details that might be helpful.

[Guy13]

Brave but still my radar 📡

🛰. would be on. Slow recovery is normal 🙂

[Avicenna]

You do have a right to put reasonable boundaries on him

[BlueScorpio]

Why was he using tour friend to see if he could pull other girls? Also why is wanting to pull other women while he's with you? Plus the fact he used your friend for "practices is crossing a line. It sounds lije he's keeping her on the back burner whiles he dating you in case you break up cause while else would he need to change his mind? No, he is full shit, all the red flags are glaring in your face. The moment you caught him trying to pull your friend, was the moment you should cut it off with him.

[nextdoorguy]

I would be extra cautious and the trust is dented. So keep your guard up and hope he can repair the trust.

[dustybiker]

I wouldn’t touch that. Consider that a universal warning. Find someone better.

[Vegasrunner]

@dustybiker This is the kind of advice that keeps women single for so long.

[dustybiker]

@Vegasrunner They are happier for it, too. 👍🏻👍🏻

[Vegasrunner]

@dustybiker Not according to all the evidence. Women typically say that to deflect from the truth and because most women speak from a place of emotion. If what you were saying was correct then why do women purchase over 90% of all relationship related material consumed worldwide?

[dustybiker]

@Vegasrunner “All the evidence”? Maybe talk to a doctor?

[Vegasrunner]

@dustybiker Any competent Dr will tell you that women consume a of the relationship material published. Remember most men are looking for quantity, most women are looking for quality in one man. If what you were saying had any shred of truth to it, we wouldn't be reading the original post.

[dustybiker]

@Vegasrunner I’m not even reading that. You have been bitter this entire time. So bitter it closes off to reality. But you prefer to read and spread (probably, you never give sources) other bitterman bs. It’s boring. Keep talking to yourself. I’m muting. Get checked out by that doc though. You might find someone to help you. 👍🏻

[Vegasrunner]

TY for sharing that rant.

[Vegasrunner]

@dustybiker I'm not surprised you wouldn't read the info as most women refuse to listen to information that highlights opposing POV's. It does not however change the fact.

[Rania05]

Immediate breakup would be my response the next day

[JPresidente]

Trust but verify. Just be on the lookout for signs he’s looking around.

[Iron_Man]

This is all immaturity. Ridiculous. That’s no relationship.

[Anonymous]

so you're gonna wait until you get cheated on? I would not tolerate that.

[Wolfynight]

no... not waiting, i just didn't want to be mean and drop him cold turkey

[Opinion Owner]

Doesn't matter. Your boundaries are being violated (if you have those that is) and either you're gonna shoot first or he will.

[Wolfynight]

I DO have boundaries, it caught me off guard, i'm not gonna let it happen again

[Opinion Owner]

"i'm not gonna let it happen again"

If I were to say this, I'll make sure it won't and put my money where my mouth is. Because I would have dumped them AKA I made the first shot.

[Wolfynight]

yea, i am gonna put my money where my mouth is. I have a worth and im GOING to make sure I am with someone who respects me

[Opinion Owner]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Wolfynight]

oh, i wasn't sure where you were going with this. He's just the guy that talked about the future and I'm a dreamer and really desire that and this is the first real relationship i've been in; I want to give him a second chance

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, so you're stepping back now hm?
We have a word for that: A doormat.
Talk is cheap.

[Wolfynight]

being merciful and giving him a second chance doesn't mean i'm a doormat

[Opinion Owner]

Hehehe, okay, whatever you say.

[Wolfynight]

ye, i don't do three strikes and your out, two is my limit

[Anonymous]

Yeah, don't play with fire. It is really not worth it.

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend cheats all the time she can't control herself

[Wolfynight]

how does that happen? how can she not control herself

[Opinion Owner]

5 years dealt with her guy hopping one guy to the next now she's with some scrawny skinny ugly guy covered in tattoos

[Wolfynight]

oh, im sorry, some girls be like that

[Nominal]

Let him Go, u deserved better.

[In_Trance]

Almost doesn't count