Why do people put their romantic partners before friends? Shouldn't friends be just as, if not more important than partners?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who started seeing a girl and during one of our conversations, he told me that I as now #2 when it came to his priorities ever since he met this girl. She's his #1 priority now. He claimed that we were very good friends and now he does this shit to me. It happened when I was in school as well with people getting bfs and gfs and forgetting all about their friends. I put my friends before any kind of romantic partner because I value a friendship more than I do a romantic relationship. They are short-lived and the smallest thing can screw them up. A friend is "supposed" to stick with you longer. So why does this happen?

[Sorrento-Sun]

It depends on the seriousness and strength of the relationship. I believe a partner should take priority over a friend.

I'd never place a male or female friend above my partner. He's the one I'm building a life with. He's become my best friend too. And I view him as family. I don't believe in giving up friends just because you're in a relationship though, unless the friendship is jeopardizing it.

Friends aren't someone you build a future life with. They're just part of your life. Friends drift apart or see each other less over time, once both or one get into a relationship or get married and have kids.

It's good to still keep in contact with friends and spend time with them. But if someone is willing to put a friendship before their relationship, then they need to take a step back and reflect on and re-evaluate the relationship

If you were relationship and your male friend became priority over him , your relationship would certainly be short-lived. I can't imagine anyone tolerating being second place to a friend. Especially if that friend is of the opposite sex. They'd question your friendship and feelings for him.

[BlueScorpio]

That tends to happen with marriage and family, you start to pu them first cause that's your spouse/romantic partner for life supposedly. Priorities change once you start a family, s for example when my friend became a mother I understood that hanging out and having free time wouldn't be the same as use to be and I had to accept that. We talk when we can but we both work and have other stuff going on.

[simptopia]

The way I think about it is, Your romantic partner is the person you are supposed to be living and building your life together with. Its a partnership so they should take priority in a lot of situations but thats after the relationship has been built. If youve only been together for a short period and they seem to be wanting you to make drastic changes such as cutting of long time friends who haven't been inhibiting your success or growth as a person I'd say they aren't a good partner. But you know sometimes people are so blinded by "love" that theyd sacrifice anything to keep it

[DaveJord]

What are you talking about guy freinds or your girl friends?

Yeah, once I start dating a woman, all other women that are not family come second in my life. If you want to be his #1 then date him. Friends are great, and all, but I really want a romantic really and emotional connection with a woman that I can get from a friend.

[BarryLiverstone]

When romantic couples meet and decide to date it’s an exciting time known as the honeymoon stage. This can last for a few months and usually in this stage as you describe the friend neglects you to some degree as they are all in on their new love interest. However as the relationship matures the couple transitions into a more stable phase and that’s when your friend will come back and pay more attention to you as they are secure their new partner isn’t going anywhere. Sounds like in your case your friends just had a series of shorter relationships and never did break out of the honeymoon stage.


Make sense?

[WindAtMyBack]

Because that's the way it should be. Your SO has to always come before friends. As you get older that will happen with all your friends. It will probably happen with you also. It's being an adult. You get in relationships. You get married. You have kids. They must come first.

That doesn't mean you have to dump your friends. It just means the relationship with them changes. That's completely normal. I have friends I've known since early childhood. I would never expect them to put me before their girlfriends, wives, children, parents or siblings.

[Paul09]

Yeah it's odd how some people do that. I understand you're in a relationship. But you can't just push away friends. Makes no sense. You should always make time for friends. There's a reason their your friends , and so close. You be able to have both. Imagine it gets worse when they have kids. I'm like a uncle to my friends kids, no excuses. I use to see my friends kids a lot, now not as much.

[Jamie05rhs]

"I put my friends before any kind of romantic partner because I value a friendship more than I do a romantic relationship."
HA! 🤣. No, you don't. I guarantee you that if I was your friend, and you met some dude and started going out with him, that HE would become your priority, and you would talk to me less.
(And that's the way it SHOULD be!)

[Asker]

That's so messed up, though

[Jamie05rhs]

What's messed up?

[Asker]

Choosing some temporary girlfriend/boyfriend over a friend thats been there for years...

[Jamie05rhs]

Well, the idea is that the boyfriend will become permanent (aka a husband) if everything works out. Same with a girlfriend. If I had a girlfriend, I would give her first priority as well.

[Finchie40]

Nope , when entering a committed relationship your friends and family should never come before your partner for the relationship to grow and for love to grow as well , when people don’t put this partner as their number 1 priority they will be single again

[AdithyaR]

Well that depends. If it's a long term partner or a married spouse, this is the person you're sharing your life with, naturally they gotta be a bit higher in priority.
That doesn't mean you ditch your friends entirely but your partner will take precedence in normal situations.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my wife for almost 10 years, we have children. She’s my life partner. We’re a family.

Not to say that I’ve completely abandoned my friends, they’re still important, but of course I’m gonna put her and the family over anybody else. Why wouldn’t I?

Not everybody is just fucking around wasting time dating people who aren’t gonna last long.

[Strangerdanger2120]

They don't call partners their better half for nothing. Your partner is the person that's supposed to be their through the roller coaster of life. Friends are usually just a placement for that until the person finds "the one"

Sorry, but friends just aren't as important as family, usually.

[LazerBean]

A spouse should always be number one. A boyfriend/girlfriend can be equal to your trusted long-term friends, but not above.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Who am I having strong feelings for? Who am I sleeping with almost every day? Who am I cooking for? Who loves me unconditionally everyday?
Definitely not my friends that's what. You'll still be friends, but let them enjoy being with their boo whenever they want.

[Jdjfjcjj]

My general answer is, it depends on how serious your romantic relationship is.

However, from my perspective, when a woman actually likes her man, she wants to be around him as much as possible.

[Jdjfjcjj]

Answered question without reading the details so missed the fact that you were referring to a man.

In this regard I'll state that many men who are friends with females, are so because they are attracted to her. If they get a girl, the friend doesn't serve as much purpose anymore

[Anonymous]

Lmao.. not even gonna finish reading this crap. You expect your friend to put you first instead of his girlfriend? Is he committed to you? I could go on but Im done bye. Just wake up and stop being delusional.

[FilmGuy93]

Friends don’t know things that lovers do. The relationship is just different; it’s more intimate, in many respects.

[Berethor]

Bros before hoes? if your relationships are short-lived then they really don't worth much.

[LadiesFavoriteToy]

Partners can be thrown away in break ups but friends no. Friends above hoes.

[OddBeMe]

Ehh, ideally people should value both. But romance creates families and thats always above friends. Sorry.

[Igotheres]

They think that dating is more important then friendship but it's not.

[Anonymous]

Nope! Your partner is your best friend. They always come first.

[Revvl]

Because that's how it works.

[ZenJen444]

Thats how it should be