I lied to my ex boyfriend about cheating on him (I never did), did I go too far?

[Anonymous]

He never paid my money back and strung me along for 4 years. Luckily I overheard him talking to his friend. He was saying things like ''Don't get me wrong I love her but I'll just have to keep lying to her that one day we'll have kids, I'll just keep her in the relationship till she gets bored''.

I was obviously hurt and broke it off. It's now been a year since I'm with my new boyfriend and yes found better.

I accidentally bumped into my ex boyfriend at the supermarket recently. He tried speaking to me and I lashed out. I told him he was small in comparing to my current boyfriend and will always be small in everything, how he'll always be a disgusting cheapskate and how much I hated his biotch mother but had to fake tolerating her rude attitude. However I've lied about two things. I lied about ever loving him and about cheating on him with my supervisor and enjoying it so much that one day we did it in his former house. I started smiling without any regret. I wanted to hurt him badly.

Did I went too far with those two lies. I did loved him once but he was POS. I never cheated on him but told him I did to hurt him back.

Updates

1 y

I made up those 2 lies. Truth be told, I wish I would've cheated on him after I overheard his conversation or after he scammed me with money. Yet I didn't. The fact that I didn't and I was still the better person with morals... I wanted to hurt him badly.

[bamesjond0069]

Stupid because if I'm your new boyfriend or dating you and heard you cheated on your ex I'd dump you.

Girls who say this stuff or actually do this stuff are just ruining themselves for other men.

One girl I was with wanted to get back at me after we broke up so she slept around like crazy for a year then she couldn't get a boyfriend. She moved far away to try and escape her reputation. Didn't work since she did so many photos and stuff online too. Lol. Sucks for her.

[Asker]

What if you then find out I've lied to an ex about cheating and only said it to hurt him so badly?

[YourFavoriteFriend]

@Asker, Still, doesn't give you a good reputation. You seem as a person who sticks in the past and wants to take revenge for something that passed and from someone that isn't in your life anymore. You may even seem as crazy and your current boyfriend could say that you still want your ex so you did tried to play games to get him back. And of course, that's just me. Anyone can think whatever they want and nobody can say for sure what your boyfriend may think.

[bamesjond0069]

If you lied for revenge that means you have a shitty personality and are hung up on your ex.

But I don't even know if I'd believe you tbh. If I heard you said this I'd be more likely to not believe you and just think you're a cheater and dump you.

Either way I'd dump you.

[fembotnpc777]

Bro, you said you only dated virgins on my poll. You lied! You don't. You date women who sleep around with a bunch of guys. Every fucking time.

[fembotnpc777]

People are fucking shitty. I have no problem with OP getting hers. It's what you have to do. Look at how shitty these "good guys" are who lie up their own ass and tell you not to lie. She was trying to do the right thing. She was trying to start a family with a guy who she treated well, and he just used her for sex.

I've been so much more honest on here than anyone else has, and I get called the liar. That's funny.

[Asker]

@fembotnpc777
Pretty much this. I was a normal woman that dated to eventually get married and have kids. He lied about wanting marriage and kids and his plan was to keep me as a forever girlfriend until I get bored and dump him myself. He didn't even have the decency to dump me if that's not what he wanted.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Meh... you probably did him a favor. You probably actually helped him get over you at last. A chick tells me that kind of shit and I'd feel relieved that I don't have to deal with her anymore and relieved like... feeling like a dodged a bullet.

He probably felt worse before you told him that junk. Just saying.

[Asker]

Yes I wanted to hurt him badly. Hence why I even smiled when I told him all that. If he feels worse good. Off course if he were to go to my workplace and confront my supervisor (super unlikely), then I might get in trouble for inventing that lie.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I think you missed my point about actually making him feel better when that wasn't your goal, but yeah... It's not good to tell a lie that could get you into trouble. The most I ever lie is telling everybody I'm broke so that nobody asks me for money.

[fembotnpc777]

I think the intent was to knock his lying, narc self-esteem down a few pegs.

[fembotnpc777]

Also, who cares what he thinks of anyone? He's a POS.

[D_Bone_Steak]

@fembotnpc777 In that case, considering he's not me, you probably know how to hurt him best. If it were me though it would do nothing but release me from any sense of guilt for my messing things up.

[fembotnpc777]

If he had a sense of guilt, he wouldn't have done it. However, I appreciate you actually having a discussion with me. I'm tired of these puppets coming at me for wrongthink.

[D_Bone_Steak]

@fembotnpc777 I'm just thinking you probably did a good job and you already know what triggers him and how far he'd actually go with retaliation. You got this girl...

[fembotnpc777]

That's actually completely fair. You made him feel like a champ while he lied to your face. You're just taking your shit back, and part of that happens to be his self-esteem.

[WildCard42]

Great, now she's just like him.
You're supposed to leave toxic people, not become them.

[fembotnpc777]

That's exactly why I don't want to fight with you, because I don't want to be dumb just like you.

[WildCard42]

Great, you're not mature enough to be giving advice to anyone.

[fembotnpc777]

@WildCard42 Maybe follow your own advice and stop being petty and picking fights? Why do people think they can just dictate behaviors for other people and not hold themselves to the same standard?

[WildCard42]

You're telling her to basically be as big of a piece of shit as he is, or even worse.
Sometimes in life you learn that you're further ahead to just get away from toxic people rather than engaging with them and playing petty games of who can hurt who more.
You should be helping people be better not bitter.

[fembotnpc777]

@WildCard42 I mean, pot kettle black. If you're going to tell people to act that way, act that way. You're the guy who likes to fight and be petty.

[WildCard42]

I'm allowed to disagree when I see someone encouraging abusive behaviour. This is a public forum where all kinds of impressionable people read this stuff. I'm just trying to give a healthier alternative to your response.

[fembotnpc777]

@WildCard42 Well then she was just disagreeing with what her ex did, and you should be fine with that. See? I can write bullshit too.

[WildCard42]

You aren't even making any sense at this point.

[fembotnpc777]

@WildCard42 Ultimately, it doesn't matter what you say. You live a life of double standards where you get to judge other people for things that you do all the time. Go ahead and whine about it. Laters.

[WildCard42]

I don't even know what you're going on about, this is the first time I've ever even interacted with you.
If you want to leave this discussion it's probably time for you to go.

[Asker]

I wanted to hurt him so badly and got it. He felt the supermarket fast. He was hurt and upset, lol. He really believed that fake confession of me and my supervisor cheating in his former house while he was working.

[WildCard42]

Yeah, that shows that you're possibly sadistic if you take pleasure in the pain of others. Now you'll be lucky if he doesn't take it out on your supervisor that you lied about cheating on him with by keying his vehicle, slashing his tires, beating him up, or at the very least stalking him online. There's consequences to everything you do.

[Asker]

@WildCard42
You actually got a good point. Even if he only confronts the supervisor and it's confirmed it's a lie, I can get fired for lying about him. I didn't think about that possibility for what you've just mentioned too. Given that he's already my ex boyfriend for the longest, I think it's a slim chance he would want to go after my supervisor but now I'm worried about that too.

[fembotnpc777]

If it comes to that, just say that you don't know what he's talking about, and that your ex was always accusing you of sleeping around. That he stalked you at work. Put a restraining order on him.

[fembotnpc777]

I hope the effort that I put into sticking my neck out for you on here is worth it.

[WildCard42]

Your advice is to spread more lies again, and this time involve the police?
Her ex may even try to contact her innocent supervisor's girlfriend on social media (If he has one) and tell her he's a cheater too.
Some people who get cheated on get very angry and want revenge if they don't try to hurt themselves first.
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.
The best course of action is just to stop lying and cut off all contact, but hopefully nothing bad happens. Learn from this.

[fembotnpc777]

@WildCard42 Anyone can get a restraining order on anyone. They basically just get a letter in the mail saying they can't be around the person. It's not a big effing deal.

Yes, I'm actually trying to help her out of the situation. I feel like she got taken advantage of by this guy. You love to heap judgement, but you don't even seem to care that he lied to her for four years, just that she can't do anything as the victim.

[fembotnpc777]

What she did to him wasn't even close to what he did to her, let alone equal.

[WildCard42]

She can do a lot, like move on in a healthy relationship without all of this stupid, childish, and unnecessary drama that you're encouraging. Her ex boyfriend is not a good person and the more she fucks with him, the more likely he's gonna cause problems for her.
I said it before and I'll say it again, YOU LEAVE TOXIC PEOPLE, YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BECOME THEM."
Not to mention that she's dragging other innocent people into her crap and now she has to worry.
She's making a mess, and frankly you're not helping her at all. You seem like a compulsive liar yourself who's getting restraining orders left and right.

[oh_k789]

@WildCard42
Ah... you don't know her from other threads, lol. Not it can be understood.

[fembotnpc777]

@WildCard42 Your whole thing wreaks of victim-blaming and defending the actions of the guy who defrauded her.

[WildCard42]

I never defended his lies, but 2 wrongs don't make a right.
Trying to get revenge over some old relationship crap is really stupid. Especially considering she's in a new relationship now. They're both liars and now neither of them are innocent. It's time for her to stop the bullshit, cut her loses, and move on.
Grown adults who go down the path of trying to get revenge on each other over petty things usually end up making things worse, getting in trouble, and never really feeling any better. Maybe she'll even lose her new relationship if she continues down the path of lying and playing games with people.

[fembotnpc777]

@WildCard42 That's bogus. Retaliating is not a wrong, it's the last remainders of justice in a world where people are wrongly convicted and rapists and monsters get off scot free. Any justice anyone is able to get after someone ruined their life, I support. And I'd support her if she didn't revenge to. It's up to her, because it's her right.

[fembotnpc777]

@WildCard42 Nobody owes it to anyone to be civilized, honest, etc. If somebody breaches your trust like that, all bets are off.

[WildCard42]

You sound like an extremist who's trying to equate her situation to dealing with rapists etc.
He didn't ruin her life, she has a new life now and all this crap is just petty nonsense at this point.

[fembotnpc777]

@WildCard42 I sound like whatever. Who cares. This is getting really old. You're not going to change my mind, I and don't get the same enjoyment as you as going around and around and repeating the same lines over and over again. I said what I said, and I stand by it. I'd rather actually rather see people get justice for being wronged, and I think the world would be a better place for it.

[WildCard42]

I'm not trying to change your mind, I'm trying to help the asker understand that she's feeling wondering if she went too far for a reason, and she's worried about the ramifications of lies getting back to her supervisor for a reason. She's creating problems for herself all so that she can hurt somebody. It doesn't sound very healthy or smart.
As for you, you're just completely ignorant and unhelpful.

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me like he's a shitty person for lying to you about wanting kids, but as for you it would've been best to have just avoided him completely. Degrading someone and also lying that you cheated is pretty low as well. You are both pretty questionable human beings to be honest.

[fembotnpc777]

nobody should ever ever be in a fight with anyone about anything

[Opinion Owner]

@fembotnpc777
Fighting and lying are two different things. She should've just told him that he's a piece of shit and walked away. Playing manipulative games with him really doesn't make her any better. It's just vindictive. They're both toxic.

[fembotnpc777]

How can you say it's not a fight? That's the whole point of what she did. People should never get into wars, you know, and lie to the enemy about their current position.

[Opinion Owner]

@fembotnpc777
Time to grow up.

[fembotnpc777]

I guess you'd rather attack character than formulate an argument that makes any sense. Says all I need to know about you.

[Opinion Owner]

@fembotnpc777
My point is that it's immature to even fight with an ex let alone to be lying and "Going to war" and making up a bunch of bullshit. Where did you learn how to be an adult, from watching Jerry Springer?

[YourFavoriteFriend]

Ok, you lied to him. And what you won? Do you feel better now? Or do you feel like you fall to his level?

Anyways, mistakes are made but I hope you learnt your lesson.

[Asker]

I felt better when I saw that hurtful expression on his face and him being shocked I was even smiling. It got him to eventually leaving the supermarket in hurt and anger, good. Now he can stop trying to ever talk to me again. I wanted to hurt him badly.
The fact that he now really believes I cheated and that we did it in his former house, lol.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

I don't understand. If you truly felt good and you see nothing wrong with what you did, then why are you asking US? Anyways, you do you. Wish you good luck!

[Asker]

I guess I'm now thinking about what if there is a chance he can confront the supervisor or go after him and then I can possible get fired for the lie I've created. There is a small chance he'll go through all that trouble doing that but it's possible.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

Unless he's still an idiot, he will not do it.

[FilmGuy93]

Of course you went to far. You were trying to hurt him, instead of being an emotionally healthy adult.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

Good lucky finding emotionally stable adults. Especially woman, lol!

[FilmGuy93]

@YourFavoriteFriend Bruh... right? I'm fairly well in touch with my emotions as a man, and I get so freakin exhausted dealing with people who aren't.

[fembotnpc777]

This has nothing to do with gender. I watch instant karma on Youtube, where the guy discovers is girlfriend is cheating and he throws her shit three stories out the window, and I'm on his side.

No one is obligated to be orderly, polite, honest, etc. That stuff can go away if you fuck around. People shouldn't fuck around, and they won't have to worry about breaking their own heart like this.

There is no justice left that people don't take into their own hands, and I will always support their decision, whether that's to just move on or get revenge: I don't know what's going on in their life. But if somebody victimized them, they have the right. They're justified.

[TroyDT2]

I'm so glad I avoid drama.