How do we tell my partners son that were in a serious relationship?

Question

Okay so i know how this is gonna sound but I am finally so happy and Im really in love.

So my best guy friend started this joke but I had a thing for his dad when we first met because I said the suit he was wearing looked nice and he said "stop hitting on my dad" as a joke.

After that there was couple flirty jokes back and forth with his dad. His dad is 48 and I'm 24 . My friend is 23 so yes there is a massive age gap which is why we held back on dating each other for a long time.

I always had a crush on his dad and thought he was really hot and I really liked talking to him. I'm not like a lot of young people my age I'm really interested in the 80s and just feel as if I was born in the wrong era at times. Im abit of a old soul and tend to form better relationships with older people.

I don't have daddy issues either, my dad has always been there for me and is a really great man before anyone says anything.

We didn't plan on anything happening but I got into some legal stuff with my landlord and friends dad offered his services as a lawyer to help me.

He was amazing and I started realising how much I really liked him even more once I saw how passionate he was to help the little people and make things right.

We got talking in his office one day and I just couldn't help myself and kissed him and the rest is history.

His dad told me his son will be upset as he's always had a crush on me since we met and that he's still angry about his and ex wifes divorce that happened years ago and they remind good friends still may I add.

I told my family on Christmas and they were pretty disgusted to say the least but I know they will accept it eventually it will just take time.

AdithyaR · Accepted Answer

So here's the thing. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with you dating the dad. Now I'm generally suspicious of large age gaps but you seem to clear on the fact that it's a conscious decision that you've thought about well.
You don't get to choose who you like so just as your friend ended up liking you, you liked his dad. Can't control our feelings.

That being said, there is a full possibility of him taking the news badly. So while you're well within your rights to date his dad, he's well within his rights to not want to be friends with you after that or cut contact with his dad if he chooses to.
So while I'd recommend that you be honest with him, respect his boundaries after that. If he chooses to back away from you two you don't try and force yourselves into his life.
Sometimes we're the bad guy in someone's story and you may end up being that in his. Not necessarily a bad thing but it's just how things will be. Everyone sees things from their own perspectives.
If you're okay with that, you can go continue your relationship.

icedragoom · Accepted Answer

You have a few to go about this one way is to let the son know that your not interested him and that you think of him as a friend he may not like it but it would help cushion what comes next. I would say let the father tell him and you should be there for that as well if you are serious about dating him and your family will be disgusted cause it's not an every day situation where an older guys Is dating some one younger so don't take it to heart to much just give them time same can be said about the boy he will need some heavy amount of time now think of it this way for the boy he is going to think his dad stole you from him put to bed any notion of that ever happening so that way he does not resent you

CubsterShura · Accepted Answer

That's very complicated. But to make it easy on everyone you may start by making jokes yourself, your partner can definitely keep you posted on how his mood has been and depending on how you think things are heading find a suitable time to let him know, try not to delay too much.

whorable · Accepted Answer

it’s better for you to tell them before someone else does so better do it quick.

maybe start with.. “ i’m your new mommy” lol jk. but something along the lines of “ i’m very happy and i’m sorry”

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If the son/your friend has a crush on you, this was a horrible mistake and there is no way to tell him that will not result in anger and a rift between father and son.

Guy13 · Answer

Superhero yo save the day LawyerMan.

dustybiker · Answer

I would say that is better a conversation alone, son and father. That way he can feel free to react any way he chooses without having to hold back because you are there.

Anemone978 · Answer

Sounds dumb to want to have a relationship with your friends dad. But i'd say let his dad tell him.

SnowedIn · Answer

Just tell him. Probably better coming from dad though. And don't delay any more.

Sparkie460 · Answer

No matter how you tell him I don't think it will end well. Your friend/ his son will be pissed to say the least. It will most likely break the trust he had for you and his dad

Sasha0426 · Answer

How weird would it be for your best guy friend to call you stepmom if you and his dad got married?

Twalli · Answer

Your family doesn't have to accept it, nor does his son. You are an adult, they don't have to stay in contact with you.

OddBeMe · Answer

Ouch. Goodbye to your friendship.

jwbjimmy23 · Answer

You only using the man for needs , money

isvood06 · Answer

We can't say.

How do we tell my partners son that were in a serious relationship?

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How do we tell my partners son that were in a serious relationship?

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