Well you are in a big issue then.
If you "know" what he is doing, yet you don't speak up to stop him, you automatically become his accomplice.
Bottom line, reason through this for a sec:
If he is capable of doing something like this, that means he doesn't have a very good moral compass.
If you keep hanging around with him while he does this, eventually you might think that because he got away with it, it is fine or oke for you to try doing it. So corrupting your moral compass.
If he is capable of hiding this from the one he is loving, what would he be hiding from you?
And later on when the truth catches up with him (and YES the truth always catches up), he will be in a HUGE problem for doing this and keep covering it. But worse, I promise you that one way or another they WILL come ask you why you didn't do anything about it. Which will put you through hell.
Your best course of actions with the minimum level of casualty is:
First, tell him to stop the whole thing and tell the truth and honestly say it was too tempting/weakness. In that way at least he will have "honesty" on his credit.
Second, explain to him that if he does not tell this within a suitable time then you will, because this is going to be a shitstorm for both of you. Set a clear and specific deadline for him and after that you WILL tell the truth to the fiancee and family.
And you will want to apologise to both the fiancee and family making it clear you don't want any part of this.
In the future, if your friend is wise, he will love your friendship because you helped him avoid a catastrophe.
If he doesn't, then you're better off searching for other friends cuz he will get you in trouble.
I'm so sad to be the one saying this so harshly, but I wrote it thinking of your best interest.
The truth always comes out. One way or another. You can only try to "manage" how it comes out. On your terms or does it blow up in your face?
I'd ditch that friend, why the heck do you have a friend that's going to be married but messing with at least one other girl?
Tell him straight up, you don't accept this, tell him to get help, and leave.
I've met idiots like this and all they do is leave a wake of destruction behind them... and they don't care because they are really hurt little children themselves. Hurt people hurt people...
If you want to blow the whole thing up, go ahead, I applaud you. make an announcement at church service...
I can only say that if I were his fiancé I would sure want to know about this before I married this guy. It is harder to get a divorce AFTER you are married than to drop some cheat like this before you marry them. If he is your friend it would be hard to tell his soon to be wife of his antics. And I'm not sure if he would stop if you told him to. I guess the best thing you could do would be to butt out and let him face the music on his own. What would you want his friend to do if you were in the crushes place? If you had the power to save a heart from being broken, would you exercise that power?
This guy must not get married. He's making a mockery of marriage.
It's his life, but he's fucking it up.
This marriage will end, and it will all be for naught.
As his friend, you owe it to him to express your views on this clearly. You do not have to remain his friend, should he choose to continue down this path.
Tell him his fiancé is having sex with HER crush too... you! LOL
@loveslongnails Uh... what? This is too much off a brain teaser for me. I've got to the bottom of my coffee mug and I still don't get it, lol.
The guy tells his friend, the one who is hitting his crush yet is engaged, that "you know YOUR fiancé is also having having sex with HER crush --- what do you think of that"? See what he says about that whole thing and fuck with his head before you tell him it's not true, at least, not to the best of your knowledge... but she might be! LOL
@loveslongnails Oooh. Yes. Good idea. 👌
Do that, Asker.
Hey Asker.. are you the only other person besides the two of them who know this is going on?
Opinion
55Opinion
Best advice here is to mind your business because the truth eventually comes out and you should want no parts of that drama
If you don't know his fiancé there isn't a lot you can do. Even if you went to her, she wouldn't believe you, would think you were jealous.
All you can do is tell him not to but that probably wouldn't work.
Tell him to end it now before he gets caught
@Sasha0426 They are the victim, once I kick their ass.
u What is your motivaton for doing something?
Prenuptial and Pray for the best...
I think that is between the three parties involved to sort out. Perhaps they have an open relationship and it is only you who actually has a problem with it. You are not involved so I would stay out of inserting yourself into a problem you yourself aren't even a part of.
But talk to you're friend about it and ask him why he is doing what he's doing. If he doesn't seem remorseful ask him why is he marrying a girl in the first place if he still wants to sleep around. If so. ethi g seems off about his character or the wife to be IS in fact in the dark about it I would let her know - but also be prepared to ditch the male friend feom your life if you do - because he WILL be upset if you wreck his marriage coming up. But would still be best for you to help the wife avoid disastoe and save her feom a lot of embaressment later on (she will find out eventually what kind of loser her husband is and if not with this girl it will be with the next - cheaters usually only get ewmoreseful once caught.
Tell him that this path of lust is inevitably destructive. He can let go of his derp pride now, or watch as the universe bends over backwards on God's command to punish him for it later. But there will always be a price to pay, no matter how clever he thinks he is.
I've seen it happen too often to believe otherwise. Ignore that idiot Patrice below. If you care, you must tell him the truth that can save his life.
But if he refuses to heed the warning, walk away. The rocks he shoots off the cliff ledge will become his burial stones. It will be justice.
If possible, tell the fiancee. Especially if he is a dick about not changing his ways. She deserves a fair chance to not be lured into a trap that could get her killed. Love triangles formed in secret betrayals all too often end in murderous vendettas.
Those who tell you to say and do absolutely nothing at all, with condescending and ignorant arguments like Patrice's, are agents of death, more vile offenders than the adulterer himself.
Absolutely the fuck not. Please tell the girl he is engaged to that he is seeing another woman, I'm begging you. He's ruining his own relationship, and yes, the truth hurts, but, it hurts more if they find out without being told. Do it before it's far too late. If you think she won't believe you, tell her that it is her choice if she wants to or not but she needs to know that it is happening.
You have to tell the friend to break off the engagement. There's no coming back after cheating.
I would say something to her. Just send an anonymous letter or something to her. Pretty unfair for him to get married while he continues to screw around on her. They could be together a long time before she finds out, and waste years of her life, with the guy.
How would you feel, if you were in the same situation, wouldn't you appreciate someone giving you the head's-up before making the biggest commitment of your life?
You can't tell his future wife about it, you'll really break her heart. Instead, advice him to stop playing around and keep nagging about his crush to him. He love her, but he can't break the other woman's heart. So you need to warn him and if it needed hard work then do it. At the end let him choose one not two and keep cheating as he's doing which is completely wrong and ungrateful
It will get worse if she marries him.
Yeah that should be fixed too
Wow lol. Your woman hating friend is a cheating sack of 💩
Also, I don’t understand why people act as if people who are soon to be married are single, until they are married. Technically, they are still in a relationship, just advancing their relationship to appeal to the government but relationships are still relationships. No one is single
Almost forgot:
advise him he’s a piece of 💩, dump him as a friend, and tell his soon to be wed her fiancé is a cheater. If you tell her, don’t forget to provide proof because she may only rely on provided facts which is understandable.
I would advise you to also tell him to tell his fiancée he’s a cheating 💩 but the fact that he’s a cheater 💩 means he’s a liar, so I don’t believe he would be truthful by a long shot
He's a jerk, justifying sexing a woman who he calls his crush? More like sex buddy... While getting married. So he is not serious about her either.
He sounds like he just needs to be single, and be honest with everyone. He is not be honest with you either, trying to virtues signal how he has to follow his crush to bed. Seriously?
What are you idiots? 12?
It's either his lover, bitch or side piece - not "crush". The only thing he's crushing on is her ass cheeks.
You should tell his wife to be, if asked though. But she might be into a threesome, so you never know these days.
I feel sorry for his poor fiancée. When he choose to get married he should’ve stopped playing around and be a real man to his bride to be! If this other girl is unwilling to leave him alone then don’t let him get married and ruin the other girl’s life. Stop it or talk to her honestly she would be sad and broken now but better than finding out later and have heart shattered by him cheating on her.
Are you friends with his fiancée? To be quite honest, I think as a woman if you don't say something to him about it, then you're letting all of us down, and she deserves better.
At the same time, why did he propose, and why is he even getting married, if he's been seeing her since last year?
Maybe you need to ask him why he's doing it, and what he hopes to achieve? 🤔💯
No one is perfect but I wouldn't be friends with anyone that does that. Who we engage with has more of an impact on us than we imagine. There are few animals that can lay down with other dogs and get up without fleas...
He knows he's doing wrong and betraying this woman. My advice to you is to say nothing, but instead pray for him and her... pray for all of them. I would pray psalm 91 over the 'wife to be' as well as Joel 225.
If I was in that situation I would tell his fiance immediately, and advice nothing to him.
Why? Because:
- He already knows what he is doing, purposely. It's not lack of advice what he has, but lack of accountability.
- I don't care about the outcome of such friendship, more than his fiance being informed. I want such humans to suck my middle finger :D
Mmh this is really sad. Does he really love her Girlfriend? If yes, why does he find other girls behind her back? I guess he doesn't take her girlfriend seriously anymore! Maybe he doesn't love her anymore, but he just got engaged to her few months back right? Now you should advice him to be true with himself, his feelings and what he really wants. If he could be my friend, I would be so angry about him 🤦🏾♂️
Wow so he has a crush but he’s marrying another woman? If you know the bride well, then take her aside and tell her what you know. Don’t try to convince her to do anything but let her know the information you have only if you are friends with her. I wouldn’t waste my time with the wedding either because you know that’s gonna end in divorce.
Is he your friend? Then you tell him he's doing something he should stop doing.
Have you already told him what you think? Then the next step is to not do anything else.
Friends should always let you know their opinions. If your friend tells you why you should stop and you still keep doing stupid shit, then a good friend will let you crash and burn on your own sonthat you won't bring them down when you inevitably fall
How the F to men like this even find women? Does the other woman know? Wow what a selfish prick. Hope karma gets to him. I don't think you can do much. Because apparently we have to mind our own business.. which I find a dumb excuse not to do anything.
He needs to reconsider this marriage stuff. As somebody else said... you've become his accomplice. He's already cheating... why is he gonna just get married to some chick he has to cheat on already.
Well , he is creating a bit of a mess obviously , its not a good way to start , initially encourage him to put the wedding back and gain some time , that way he can continue with the 2nd relationship prior to breaking it all up.
Show his fiancé proof.
Better she leave him now than after they’re married.
Unless you want to see him lose his life-savings, then by all means just let this play out on it’s own.
Unfortunately there isn’t anything you can do. He already knows it’s wrong but he’s doing it anyway. There will be some long term bad consequences for him. But you have to stay out of this. It’s not your problem.
Ask him why he's marrying his fiancé and not his crush, or why is he bothering to get married to another girl if she's not out of his system? Tell him it's not going to change when it gets married, so unless she wants to be a cuck queen, he needs to re-think the whole matrimony deal.
You don't need to ask that, because he doesn't care about if it makes sense or not.
He only cares about the shit that he's getting right now.
@es20490446e Obviously.
Do nothing/say nothing. This is a very sad situation but nothing good will come from it if you get involved. Particularly for you. Say nothing and it's possible you can keep a friend.
Tell the wife and cut yourself off from all of them, don’t get involved with a married man period. Definitely don’t get involved with a chatter
If after learning this about him you still want to be his friend, encourage him to be honest in a supportive way, but do not interfere directly. He'll either learn from his mistake, or he never will.
He wouldn't be my friend anymore. And i’d be super tempted to rat him out to his fiance but i feel like its not my place
Yeah wouldn't be my friend either. I'd be inclined to give him the option of being ratted or correcting the circumstance.
In effect, as a friend, I'm participating in a particularly repugnant immoral act. And I am just not going to do something so nasty.
Can understand 'its not my place' because we do take an ambiguous position on infidelity as a society but this is the mass shooting of cheating.
@RavVid i’d definitely snap on the friend before ending the friendship. I just wouldn't rat them out. A lot of my friends cheated on their boyfriends and girlfriends. I have cut very many off. I am guilty of emotionally cheating and they snapped at me about that before but for them to go and physically cheat and to be proud to brag about it, that hits different
It is going to happen in life that you know that someone has cheated on their partner and I have certainly been guilty of emotional cheating as well. It is not unknown for a person to take up with a past lover as well.
We never know all the circumstances of course and that is why we don't rat I guess.
This is so egregious it would push me over my boundary line. Not saying everybody should have that boundary line or even that my boundary line is right.
@RavVid i don’t rat because i still felt a sense of loyalty to the person. I knew their secrets, they knew mine. If i ruin their shit, they could ruin mine. So more of an eye for an eye thing because i can be hella petty. I couldve always ratted them out. But most people want too many details when you try to tell them the truth. They want to know when, where, how often, if you got pics, etc. I’m not about to do all that shit for free lmao
My answer
Mind you're own business
That's his life, let him fuck it up
It's not your place to stick your nose in where it don't belong
Screw that noise, rat on the bastard before he has kids with his future ex fiance.
Yikes. He should not be getting married, but advising him won't do anything but put yourself in the middle.
Divorce is expensive my dude, and they always find out. Break it off before she breaks her foot off in your ass.
Stay out of it is the best thing you can do.
Actually men like that its not uncommon. It really makes no sense to me why some people would get married if they clearly know they will struggle to remain faithful
It doesn't make sense to you because...
it's nonsense. It's not because of sense why they do it, but because of instant gratification.
I'm not a troll, I'm just a joker.
Don't be a cold fish :P
Avoid getting involved. Simple.
"Better to keep mouth closed and have people think you are a fool than to open mouth and remove all doubt".
Ultimately, it's his problem. If he already cheated, the relationship is probably already doomed.
Regardless, the best friends can be cruelly honest. Divorce will cost him.
I wouldn't get involved unless you dont care if they are your friend after you do.
Do nothing lol. Let them self-destruct. 😈
Also. How tf are you friends with a cheater? Makes no sense.
Looks like you got a crush on him too.
Tell him to ball up and tell his fiancé or go and tell her yourself. He a cheater
If his fiance isn't your friend, it's none of your business.
Stay out of it and get a new friend. I hope he's not your friends with benefits too.
You tell the girl and you stop being friends with him. Pretty simple.
Why is he even getting married if he's into someone else? Unless he's from another culture with arranged marriages...🤔
Ruinnthe marriage by showing it to the cheated on. Could be anonymous.
Advise him to discuss the possibility of an open marriage with his fiancee... He either needs to be in an open/ poly thing or cut one of the women loose.
I don't see any problem with that, you should probably let me do you before he actually ties the not
Stay out of it and let things unfold on their own
U should seriously tell the wife of the husband and have proof
Tell her they aren’t married and a divorce would be worse for everyone.
Why is he even getting married? That’s ridiculous.
Threaten him saying either he tells his fiancée or you will.
Fucking is a pleasure for everyone. Marriage is just a burden.
If he asks for your opinion, then give it. Otherwise forget about it.
Snitch on him!
No advice will make a difference.
Keep clear of the whole thing.
Have proof, tell the bride, get better friends.
Nothing, none of your business.
He knows all he needs to know.
You aren't his father so you can't advise him. Get a life
By that "logic," I shouldn't warn a friend that the bridge is out up ahead. I'm supposed to act like everything's cool, as they fall to their doom. Some friend!
Friendship isn't always about good feelz. It's about doing the right thing, even when it makes you unpopular.
In this case, if he decides to be an ass when corrected kindly, it's time to whip out the megaphone! Because failure in an instance like the one in the OP to eradicate such sexual deviancy will almost always lead to murder. The commandments against adultery and murder were not placed right next to each other by accident.
Best way to understand the order of it, is the implied: "In fact, while we're at it, don't have even..."
@ObscuredBeyond no the logic is fathers choosing husband's for their daughters
what a terrible relationship... warn both women by collecting evidence.
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