Am I going crazy or am I being cheated on?

[Anonymous]

So this was a birthday for my girlfriends best friend, soo they have a closed backyard that we had a braai and games in, I found it weird that afterwards when it was time to eat she had left her phone behind (something she doesn't do) also her best friends brother had left his phone to , we all had gone inside the house afterwards to eat so I saw my opportunity (me being insecure ) to take her phone and proceed to the nearest bathroom , I noticed she was also very interested at her phone at the time , soo I had been a good 10min in the bathroom checking to see if there was any credible evidence to day that she was , I had found nothing, But there where a lot of stuff deleted like chats , moving pass that when I had come out of the turned to go outside here she comes and sees me , having a very shocked look on her face asking me where her phone is , now me being a very bad overthinker told her "no wasn't your phone in thr backyard" to see if the bestfriends brother was there , while asking her this I also saw that her underwear had been out of her pants and tangles with her shirt , like she had picked them up and moved very haistily first red flag, then proceeding outside I see the brother who was pretending to be on his phone , now there is a place they could've had sex and based her reaction and thr underwear I am assuming there worst , her excuse was that she had been in thr toilet , but i was in the toilet there is another one that guests rarely use , she isn't a person to lie but these coincidences are very hard for me to let go , what do you think

[PrettyPriya]

I think you are very insecure. You also violated any trust that is left in your relationship by taking her phone without consent and going through it. You obviously do not trust her at all or you wouldn't do that.

Honestly, I think your relationship is completely broken. I am sorry to say this but I doubt very much that things are going to improve at all. Trust is one of the biggest keys to a successful relationship and you have about none.

Not only did you take her phone without asking, then you start to think she cheated on you with someone, at a party, during the 10 minutes you were rifling through her phone? Maybe she did just go to the washroom. So what if the other is rarely used? Perhaps since you were in the one most people use she had to use the other. Did you ever think of that?

You either need to get over these insecurities or break up. It isn't fair to her that you are constantly questioning her if she hasn't given you any reason to do so. You found nothing in her phone after all.

[Asker]

I am that is why I asked thr question to finally be rid of this from holding me back , she is a really wonderful person , and what I did was very deceitful I have no excuses I am however very insecure and about his particular person thay was also in the back yard aswell, why I brought up the 10min was because a lot can happen and that's why maybe her underwear was out of place you know quickly pulling her pants up

[PrettyPriya]

Right. So you don't see a problem here where you admit to being deceitful? That is not a recipe for a good relationship. I also believe you are overthinking this big time. When was the last time you had sex that it took 10 minutes start to finish. I mean going somewhere private, undressing, actually having sex and then getting dressed again... Think about it.

[Asker]

I hear you I really do want to believe you because she was my first and I love her a lot , I really do , but a Quickie doesn't take that much time now , both of them pull their pants do the job and get it over with, I really do think I'm overthinking and j just need someone to help stop these thoughts in my mind, I believe that's you

[PrettyPriya]

You say you love her a lot but you cannot trust her. That is something you need to fix. The three things that I think are the most important aspects of a successful relationship are Trust, Communication and Respect.

If you cannot have those things, the relationship is doomed. My husband's best friend in this world is a girl. Does it bother me? Nope, not at all. It is because I trust him. I know I don't have a thing to worry about.

[begum01]

Trust is the key in relationships, so if you don't trust your girlfriend, this is a huge problem. If you want to have a healthy relationship first, you should solve your trust issues.

[MadAndBankrupt]

The best think you can do is to just break up with her without telling her by that I mean you never talk to her again even if she asked why (cut ties)

This is really coming from someone who feels what you’re going through completely.

I hope you would trust me on this one because If you didn’t, you would regret it.

She cheated.

[MadAndBankrupt]

Thing*

[Asker]

You really think so

[MadAndBankrupt]

I really do.

[Asker]

Backshots are so easy to do , and the underwear come on right

[MadAndBankrupt]

She cheated, Man.
Now it’s up to you to save yourself

[MadAndBankrupt]

Any updates?

[OlderAndWiser]

If you trusted her, you would not have checked her phone. So. . . it is already at the point where you don't trust her. The outcome is ver predictable.

[Asker]

The outcome being?

[OlderAndWiser]

Break up.

[Guy13]

Yeah, sounds and smells "fishy" to me. Keep a watchful eye without accusing would be my approach.

[boggboss]

Boy u got no clue if she is cheating or nit but either way if u are doing all this then just end the relationship as if she is cheating or not u clearly don't trust her so this is over

[inhua]

she's lying and cheating on you and users here have to nerve to make you out to be the bad guy in this scenario SMH