Me and my boyfriend are happy in love, but the problem is that I think I love him too much to the point that my past insecurities are rearing up in my current relationship. I get overly territorial and pissed when any female looks at him weird. He is a very attractive man, so he gets a lot of attention and I believe my fear is to lose him or get hurt/cheated on again. How do I decrease the emotional attachment to him? It's making me miserable and I practically can't hide the jealousy at this point. But see.. I love hard. I love so hard that I have to hate you to leave you alone. How do I get a grasp of my emotions and insecurity before I possible damage or ruin my relationship?
P. S, this is one of those relationships where we broke a a lot of rules and hearts to be together, so leaving or giving up isn't really an option.
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All you can do is try to realize that everything will work out in the end. Pulling back or “un-loving” isn’t a good strategy and I question if it’s even possible while continuing the relationship.
It might also be worth it to talk to him. Tell him how you’re feeling. A good partner will listen to you, and do their best to accommodate or help you through it. If it’s truly a partnership you both should work together to make it successful.
He honestly tries his hardest as a man to cope with my insecurities, but I'm even afraid to talk to him because he constantly tells me it's something I need to work on.. but how do I even do that? :(
Well hypothetically, someday in the future, do you think you can ever get to the point where you trust him fully and don’t have this insecurity? And if so, what needs to happen for you to get to that point?
I don't think it's so much him that I don't trust. I know how females are and can be so they basically throw themselves at him. I've watched him on numerous occasions politely turn them down, but it makes me more territorial which can come off as jealousy. So that's how I know it's not a him problem, you know?
Here is the thing tho. Logically, if you trust him 100%, there is no issue and it’s all in your head. So you just have to double down and force yourself to move past it. Anytime you start feeling jealous, push past it and think about something else. It’s not easy, I know, but it’s also the reality of the situation, and it’s what’s required.
You're right. Is there any way I can have this conversation more in detail with you on another app please?
You’re more than welcome to private message me on this app. But I’m not comfortable moving things onto a different app right now, sorry.
I don't have enough points to message yet :(
I've tried
Lame! I thought level 2 could both make anonymous posts and private message… guess not…
Thank you for the advice though
You might be able to try to private message one more time since I just hit level 2. Not sure if it’ll work, but if you wanna try once more you can.
i was truly deeply in love with someone for 5 1/4 years. she was truly the love of my life i loved her so unconditionally and so deeply but i was forced to leave i couldn't take her emotional abuse or mental abuse or the horrible things her sister said to me. i bent over backwards helping her and her family out for all those years and she never once thanked me for any of it. there were so many days and nights where i cried from all the hurt and pain she caused. tbh i still love her regardless of all that. i will tell you this though if you hurt other people and broke other people's hearts intentionally then karma will come back at you twice as hard if not 10x or more harder for the pain you caused other people