My boyfriend rarely takes me out on dates. What should I do?

[Anon25467]

My boyfriend and I have been with each other since November so this is relatively a new relationship but he rarely takes me out on any dates or plans much. The only reason why I never made such a big deal before is because he didn’t have a car before but just recently got one (like two weeks ago) and he was also struggling financially due to school taking most of his time and he couldn’t work, and he recently moved to my state for school (he’s 21 by the way) . He still managed to take me out on Valentine’s Day and get me a few of my items which I am VERY appreciative for and I adored. I’m the type of person who loves adventures, going to new places, etc. There are just days where I just want to bring it up but I don't know if I seem horrible for bringing it up bc of his situation :/. But even then I never ask for much bc I have a decent income, not overly dependent on him and never ask for much because I can do it on my own but yk even planning like a small park date for free or even like going to cheap cafes that don’t cost much would feel nice yk? (I also plan most of our outings) :(

[jennifer_bloom]

There are cost free activities you guys could do such as play chess or checkers or Chinese checkers or monopoly or Mah Jong or cards or monopoly or you could invest in a board game classic like apples to oranges or scattegories. This costs money but a $40 chess board could help you kill 300 hours of inactivity while you guys play intellectual games with each other so I consider it a good investment. There are also affordable intellectual puzzle books you could buy to kill time, that may be cheap if you buy in bulk. I know somebody who got a book with over 300 puzzles for under $20.

[Anonymous]

Well most men at that age aren’t really established. Men tend to be judged on what they have, especially when it comes to finding a partner. Maybe you could take him out if you’re a little more financially stable than he is. Nothing wrong w that. But like you said w school, now a new car that requires a new bill unless he paid it outright, also car insurance which is usually high for young men. Plus the cost of moving to your state. It may not seem like a lot but $20 to some people is a lot especially when they’re struggling. Where does he live? W you? It may take a little time, but I’d you stay w him throughout his struggles I’m sure it will work out. Most men as we get older tend to be happier cause our finances increase, women in the other hand seem to become more miserable. Maybe because there’s different expectations of men vs women especially if he was raised traditionally to take care of his family as far as providing a majority of things like me.

[Anon25467]

Ended up talking to him and he just said I should’ve said this earlier because he still would’ve set time aside for me even with him circumstances he just didn’t know it was a big deal/need for me personally but bc he wants me to be happy and feel like my needs are being met. Thank y’all :) (also the male perspective was significantly more helpful than what other women were saying :/)

[Opinion Owner]

That’s good. You know you have to realize that things like this that women crave, it doesn’t have the same affect on most men. So we usually don’t do things like that. To a man making you happy is buying you things or doing things for you like paying bills. Men aren’t raised that way, so something as simple as a picnic may be new to most men.

[OlderAndWiser]

Dating is like a preview of what someone would be like as a long term partner. ou need to determn whether his current behavior is strictly dictated by his circumstances or whether this is just the way he is. If this is who he is, don't try to change him; it won't work and you'll just feel frustrated. Maybe he's not The One.

[petitedollbabee]

Have you communicated this with him? If not, sit him down and talk to him about what you want and ways that you two can meet in the middle on it. My boyfriend never took me out on dates because he didn’t see the point since we’re already in a relationship, but after I communicated with him and told him how much it would mean to me, we started going out for lunch, dinner, going for walks together, etc.

[coachTanthony]

Find a boyfriend that will. Life is too short to drag out a relationship that is going nowhere.

[Anon25467]

Uh I understand what y’all are saying but I just simply communicated my concerns and he fixed it…our relationship is great besides that one worry of mine which he fixed💀 y’all just move to extremities for no reason

[coachTanthony]

@Anon25467 We can only assume if you are asking this question that you have already tried that... of course communicate your concerns to see if he will adjust.. . that is just common sense and no need for a question like this before that has been done.

[Guy13]

Get in the car and drive around to a park or ice cream 🍦 🍨 joint

[Anon25467]

Yea see I would love that but I don't know how to bring it up to him without having him feel bad yk? Bc ik he’s rlly in a tough place and still manage to buy me stuff

[Guy13]

Bring it up, grab his hand, and start walking to the car with the keys in your hand. I am certain he love not having to guess how to make you happy. Try it...

[AviatorTom]

Offer to pay for your dates, or at least part of them.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, not all relationships involve "dates". Just hanging out and being with each other is enough for a lot of people.
Going out and doing things is understandable, but that's not necessarily a date.
Anyway, semantics aside, if that's important to you, you should just suggest an activity that you'd like to do with him in a casual way.
"Hey baby, we should go... blah blah"

Don't make a point of mentioning that said activity is free though, unless he asks. You don't want to make him feel like you're trying to look out for his wallet. That's a little emasculating lol

[Anon25467]

Ended up talking to him and he just said I should’ve said this earlier because he still would’ve set time aside for me even with him circumstances he just didn’t know it was a big deal/need for me personally but bc he wants me to be happy and feel like my needs are being met. Thank y’all :) (also the male perspective was significantly more helpful than what other women were saying :/)

[Opinion Owner]

I'm glad it worked out!
I haven't heard of many cases when a woman has actually helped another woman with her relationship lol
Hindered maybe

[es_annie]

I understand how you feel, that is why it’s important to communicate with him. Let him know you’re not a high maintenance person and you’re fine with just a simple walk to the park. When you talk to him don’t have expectations out of it just simply try to have some dialogue between each other and see what are his thoughts about the topic.

[Anon25467]

Ended up talking to him and he just said I should’ve said this earlier because he still would’ve set time aside for me even with him circumstances he just didn’t know it was a big deal for me personally. Thank y’all :)

[Pyrofox]

Come up with date ideas and make them more mutually involved. A planned outting to get some fresh air and stuff. Go to the park to the picnic things. And its okay if outtings are like your location but then tell him he needs then to at least help with picking out what food goes with XD. Take advantage of having an extra brain to brainstorm.

[OfMiceandMen]

I don't think what you're asking for is too much. All you're looking for is for him to come up with some ideas and maybe plan your outings once in awhile. You may have to suggest he take the reigns once in a while.

[Glen385]

bring it up, talk to him about it in a respectful way and see what he says. If he is a homebody then you have a decision to make, but if its something you can work through together then that needs to happen. But it won't get addressed if you don't talk to him.

[Heolurt]

You get dates, some of us haven't ever been on one or ever will, so at least be happy you're not one of us. That being said, just talk to him and tell him you'd like to go on more dates.

[tzdc21]

So what's stopping you from taking him on dates? Or suggesting just a netflix and chill date night?

[FilmGuy93]

Either voice your concerns to him directly, take the initiative and plan the dates yourself, or break up; those are your options.

[Anonymous]

Don’t expect much form a men who’s 21 years old !
He is a MeN with a small e.. he has so much to do
until he is fully ready to go to adventures..

[LiamJHayden]

Sometimes people become complacent in a relationship. Maybe just suggest, Hey let's go to the park for a picnic on Saturday." or something.

[elizamichale1]

There's nothing wrong in discussing about it with him honey

[LimitedBenefits101]

Oh look another woman complaining

It never stops.

[Anon25467]

For asking for one of my needs to be met…. for him to put in effort? For wanting to not pay or plan for a date for once? While I’m also helping him through his financial struggles I can’t get a fkn free park date?😭

[LimitedBenefits101]

It's very simple, not happy? find new boyfriend

[Mayo503]

What is it you want to do…?
Do what you like to do

[RandomGuy1030]

The answer is in your question. He's busy with school

[LazerBean]

So get a better boyfriend then.

[Anon25467]

He is. And I communicated my needs and he did what had to be done for me to be happy…so I think I’m good where I’m at. Just bc he’s a rough point in his life doesn’t mean much to me bc he was there for me years prior.. I can do the same it was just my lack of communication that caused this

[LazerBean]

He fixed it that fast? Why the heck make a post about it then.

[andreasderjuengere]

''Boyfriend'' = 'entertainment manager'?

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Take him out on dates