Men, where do you go for help when you have issues in your relationship, originating somewhat, in yourself?

[lightbulb27]

Here's an example of "fight/flight" overreaction turned to physical assault. He went to jail... but that isn't going to solve anything, the real work is ahead. Under anger... you'll always find sdanes

https://www.foxnews.com/sports/ex-nfl-running-back-zac-stacy-sentenced-jail-time-probation-attacks-ex-girlfriend-report

A very submissive woman... and newly traumatized child, all due to underlying emotional immaturity, stress,... who knows? Hopefully, there are mentors whom can reach out and get him on better path.

Women love powerful strong men, but they pay the price sometimes.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I think that guy punching her in the head and domestic violence got off way easy. He needs a few years in jail to think about what he did.

At least he may get court ordered therapy, and have to do a few years of domestic violence classes.

Some people often don't even realize they need help, and even if they do they don't know where to go, even if there is places to go.

Try living rural though, zero places to go around here but people tend to be far better adjusted living away from the city.

Communication should be best and if that doesn't work then therapy or ending it.

[JosyJosy]

He talks to me right away whether he is angry or sad which is great sonwe can resolve it on the same day.

[lightbulb27]

That's healthy!

[JosyJosy]

Three years in, rarely fought. It's great.

[Jamie05rhs]

@JosyJosy God bless you.

[Lliam]

When I realize that I have behaved in a way that upset someone, I process my behavior, sometimes for days or longer. I can't let it go until I understand my malfunction.
And once I understand, I am eager to apologize.

I have no need to relieve my anxiety by punching things or other physical means. I use my brain.

[lightbulb27]

That's impressive and unique. A thinker. I'm cool for a long time, but there's a boiling point where I go berzerke.

[Lliam]

This scene always comes to mind when I hear that word. 🤣

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnmDhuuPrJc

[Juxtapose]

I asked my friends about it and then do a lot of thinking when I have calmed down.

[Juxtapose]

Ops wrong chat.

[lightbulb27]

haha, yes, Billy Jack, the best of the 70's. I wish I had that much control and endurance.

[Guy13]

How's this for troubled times; Look t the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. Works for me... Definitely not a vending machine though.

[lightbulb27]

yea, good time for a come to Jesus meeting.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Buddha's wrong. Explaining the source of your anger means nothing when the guilty parties are blind to their hypocrisy, and double down on it in the face of your explanation.

[lightbulb27]

good point! Although might help explaining to himself... since the others ears are closed.
I've seen such people light themselves on fire in protest and not complain.

[Subarugirl]

True but problems aren't fixed by ignoring them either. Sweeping it under the rug will just cause more problems later on.

[lightbulb27]

not being heard is a substantial complaint, and both parties can be at fault. It takes a lot of work sometimes to hear because the mind doesn't want to...

[Subarugirl]

I agree, but you can't fix a problem by ignoring it

[lightbulb27]

@Subarugirl that is true. but you can decide to be ok with it as it is, put it aside and decide it isn't worth fighting about, or table it. that may be somewhat avoidant, but if one fights every battle til completion, I question whom is left standing at the end... and if the other side won't listen, one is stuck. ex. if partner is paranoid delusional... I know someone that had that scenario, and it's out of their control.

[Subarugirl]

and not being able to talk about and work though issues is bad.

[lightbulb27]

@Subarugirl Agree. Doesn't mean change occurs though. I'd say that's a precursor to coming apart. Men tend to "suck it up" and deal with it, or they deflect. Women, maybe why they divorce.

[Subarugirl]

Well I assume women divorce for the same reason everyone else does. They would rather dissolve the marriage than continue with it, and those reason vary depending on the person.

[Juxtapose]

I ask my friends about it and then I think about it when I have calmed down.

[lightbulb27]

Talking helps!

[Juxtapose]

Definitely helps quite a bit.

[melanieeeB]

My ex immediately talked to me

[lightbulb27]

That is very healthy!

[Anonymous]

Well I have guy friends. But I also have 4 sister who are all very different from eachother. So I can talk to them and get differing but still similar views when I need a woman's viewpoint. And I know they'll shoot me straight.

[Anonymous]

They go to the corner and cry alone.

[lightbulb27]

Most of my experience, I see men go outside and express their violence on other objects. Sad but true, they don't know how to cry... that seems rare.

[Opinion Owner]

They do cry just not Infront of anyone.

[Opinion Owner]

Men equally feel emotional as women but in a different way.

[Sunssong]

it's subjective

[Opinion Owner]

@Sunssong can you tell?