I Avoid all Social Interactions IRL. What The Hell's Wrong With Me?

Question

It's been escalating a lot lately. I've realised that if I see someone I know from afar passing by I'd even take another path or pretend to be talking to someone on my phone... 💀

I don't even mean to be rude nor anything but it just happens every time I realise a social interaction opportunity is arising.

Welp, I think that's not normal but it's hard to change.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

It sounds like you might (probably do) just suffer from anxiety.

Social anxiety is actually quite common. But if it's even moderately severe it can be seriously debilitating to your life.

That seems to be what you're describing. The good news is, that this is very common, and easily treatable. Sometimes with anti-anxiety medication, but more often by working through it with a therapist/councilor, psychologist or occasionally psyciatrist.

This is something that's honestly not nearly as big of a deal as you would think... for how serious the symptoms are.

It IS a big deal that you're finding yourself increasingly avoiding social interactions irl. That's genuinely going to have a considerable negative impact on you and your happiness.

You would think something that big would also be big to try and "fix." Not in this case. Quite the opposite. This is something that is super-well studied. People have a pretty good understanding of anxiety. Or at least have several different very common ways they treat it.

I'm no doctor. I'm just a dude. But I think you've just got a severe case of anxiety. Social anxiety specifically.

The very best thing you can do is to bring a parent in on this, if you have "normal" parents (parents who are good parents to you generally. Who genuinely care about you properly).

What you need is to be in touch with mental-health services of some sort. But you need a professional to help you with this (therapist, psychologist etc.). I'm suggesting you get a parent involved to help facilitate finding that professional for you to see.

But if your situation doesn't permit bringing a parent in on this; then what you need, is to get in touch with those services yourself.

If you're in school (and I really hope you are, so I'm going to assume you are), then you can certainly start there. They may not have the resources to help you directly (they won't). But they WILL help you to get in touch with the right people.

So at worse, go see a guidance councilor or talk to a teacher if you happen to have a good relationship with one in particular. They can certainly help actually connect you with someone. Or give you somewhere to start at least.

Your best first step is to get somebody on your side to help you get in touch with the right professional to help you.

What you're going through is very serious in terms of the effect it has on you and your quality of life.

But it's really not nearly as hard to fix as the size of the problem would lead you to believe. That's true only if you get help for it. You DO need to see those professionals about this. It's not normal, and you don't have to suffer through it like you are. There is help for this. It's not even uncommon (although yours sounds pretty severe).

But if you don't get help this likely will continue getting worse. Or at least it definitely won't get better on it's own. This is one of those things people do need help with. Please do take the steps to get the help you need. Because you don't have to accept continuing to feel this way. You can get your old self back. Easier and quicker than you think. 🙂

BCRanger10 · Accepted Answer

What's wrong with you is what's wrong with everyone else who spends way too much dang time on their media devices. They're addicted to the dopamine hits they get from likes and comments on things they post. Your generation has it particularly bad because you grew up with it.

Something I started doing a while back was I didn't start using the internet until after a certain hour each day. Every now and then, I'll leave my phone in the car if I'm just going into a grocery store or something else that will be a quick in-and-out trip. Those might be good places to start.

If you see someone you know out in public, just do the polite thing. Wave at them, smile, and say "hello". It's just something you have to be intentional about.

Guy13 · Answer

Do not be too rough on yourself. I am thinking your greatest issue is that you are under 18. 18 is when I broke out of my shell, even though, I had been a highly visible industry since eleven.

Spending little time on social media or using the phone only will help with this. Call instead of texting…. Good luck 🍀

AmandaYVR · Answer

I second what @gorydetails said.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say that there's something wrong with those who constantly pursue social interactions, not the other way around. You are young and haven't seen much of the world yet, but I can tell you it's a cruel, cruel world with cruel, cruel people. Human beings are capable of worst imaginable things, like torturing another living being just for fun. And every new person we meet has a high chance of being or becoming one of those. I'm just not taking any risk aymore. Some say that humans are social beings and that we NEED other to survive, but I disagree. Maybe back in 19th century, but now honestly with the technology and services for pretty much anything we want, we do not need to interract on a deeper level. Lucky are those who have enough means to live somewhere far from society, I think it is the ultimate peace of mind and happiness. This world is crowded with people like a bacteria, there's just too many. So yeah I think it's completely normal to avoid people as much as possible, it is ESSENTIAL for our mental health. I interract with only few people in my life, and the rest I avoid like a plaque.

CreatingWonders · Answer

Don’t worry I’m the same, if someone goes excuse me or try’s to talk to me I just ignore them and carry on walking pretend I haven’t heard them. I know it’s rude and I feel awful but I just don’t want to talk to people.

If I have to talk to someone I go on to a panic. I hate it.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Social anxiety. You've had some bad social experiences and it's left an impression.

Not sure to tell you how to break out of that... because I sort of feel like being guarded against it might actually be a good thing. I know society says the opposite... I just don't agree with society.

gorydetails · Answer

No it’s not normal. I’m going to assume what you’re typing is real. And your age is real. You got royally fucked with the covid bullshit. You were socialized to believe that people were a threat. It was wrong. It was a crime against you and a crime against humanity.

What you have to realize is that we are social animals. We need each other. As uncomfortable as it is, be around people. Eventually it will be normal and you will start to crave the interaction.

Heterosketero · Answer

A lot of this has to do with politics and post pandemic reality. It is normal and if you are doing it, you need to do it. In first aid, we learned that if a person is choking, they will leave the room, so you learn to look for that. What is choking you?

Gibbons44 · Answer

I can relate to that. Not avoiding it all, but a lot of it can get too complex - there's a lot happening in the world right now, Covid/post-Covid, Russia/Ukraina troubles, climate change, LGBT stuff, the whole 'is monogyny the only right way or are there good polygyny reasons'. Against the backdrop of the 'cost of living crisis', the economy/family functioning model gets a back seat but it is basically a primary personal concern and sphere of living.

Anonymous · Answer

Don't listen to these hacks, it's totally normal.
There's nothing wrong with keeping to yourself and not wanting to strike up some bullshit conversation with someone when you don't feel like it.

If they came up and said hi and you ignored them, that might be different, but you can avoid them if you want. Fuck em

JSmuve · Answer

Sounds like you a) don't like to interact with people, or b) don't know how to interact with people and the thought of it makes you uncomfortable so you avoid it

thorboy · Answer

Nothing. Deep down, you know people are repulsive and stupid. You also realize that you really can't be kept apart because everywhere you go there is another dumb person. They have these boring conversations, many talk dumb so it's only natural to avoid things we hate.

Anonymous · Answer

completely normal. you're an introvert. no need to feel bad about it. protect your mental energy.

spartan55 · Answer

Because young think it's okay to communicate by text, or DM, or meme etc. Then they have no idea how to actually interact with people irl.

RMorus · Answer

Very introverted. I was like that for a long time. And: to not let it get worse you should push yourself a little to become a little more normal in societal sence. For real.

Heolurt · Answer

I do the same, I prefer avoiding people over people constantly looking at my face and getting negative looks on theirs or them feeling like they need to tell me I'm ugly. In my experience there are no good people, I dislike all people

Spiritofn · Answer

Shame response from you or other people most likely. Were very keen creatures small quez send us down dark alleys some of us don't get an opportunity some of us get a chance... Remember that.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Sounds like depression or anxiety. These two lead you to avoid everyone.

BrightBubblyKat · Answer

I avoid Facebook now. Too many buns from my past were finding me.

jshm2 · Answer

You're just being retarded and introverted, is all.

Anonymous · Answer

Nothings wrong with you! You have no obligation to do it, right? Some folks are introverts. Like myself. After a tiny amount of socializing, I’m on a solitary quest for many moons afterwards because it’s so exhausting around people.

OG956 · Answer

Well, in my case I only stay with my family and best friend. Also because I have 2 go in the shops and stuff like that I'm between people, but no interactions, so it's good 4 me :)

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Snakeyes7 · Answer

It could either be introversion or social anxiety. It depends on whether it's just merely disinterested or fear of social interaction.

msc545 · Answer

This is called "social withdrawal". It can be a symptom of depression, anxiety, or other things - please see a Psychologist.

BrookeS · Answer

Nothing is wrong with you, it’s normal. I was like that for most of my life.

Nfiybubu · Answer

Social anxiety. Don’t give in. I almost a decade later and I have no friends or family.

riverrat3 · Answer

Get counseling, it will only get worse, do you have someone to talk with

MuskratLove · Answer

Only you can answer that.

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

You enjoy your privacy

DreamGlow · Answer

You are brilliant.

urpapi69 · Answer

Maybe you're a pessimistic person.

Emily13520 · Answer

Maybe you're tired and don't want to go

Anonymous · Answer

You’re an introvert.

I Avoid all Social Interactions IRL. What The Hell's Wrong With Me?

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Can someone please help me, I’m so tired of being like this. It’s every social interaction. How do I be normal?

I Avoid all Social Interactions IRL. What The Hell's Wrong With Me?

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Can someone please help me, I’m so tired of being like this. It’s every social interaction. How do I be normal?

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