Why is it we don’t realize we’ve needed something until after we get it?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Love - , at 22, I was career oriented and was talking to my mom that there’s no way I’d fall for someone cause I thought love is for average people and I had bigger plans in life.

2 months later, I fell in love and now fast forward 4 years I’ve lost it again, I feel like I miss that feeling of being loved and being in love, I feel like I haven’t lived before 22, I didn’t know what life truly was. I never craved love because I didn’t know how it felt, seems like I needed it though and I only realized it later when I already got it “How did I live without this before?”

So, why’s that? I want to become like my old self again and I want to think that I don’t need and want love and I feel perfectly okay and happy on my own, then I remember the past 3 years and the paradise I lived in when I loved and was loved and I miss it again. How do I forget how good it was?

[caring__1]

How can we value something we've never experienced? As an example, how many of these foods do you crave (that are craved by people around the world)? https://travelfoodatlas.com/weirdest-foods-eaten-around-world

We never get a true understanding of an experience till we experience it. Try explaining adolescence to a pre-adolescent? Until they get there, the explanation will have no true meaning and will make no sense. They know they can be happy or sad, but it would make no sense to them to hear you say adolescents can feel happy and sad at the same time.

[Gent207-2]

You cannot return to your old self accept that version of you is dead. You must memorialized both versions of you, the one before love and the version you were when you had it.
Once you so that you can be ready for new love to return with the warmth of spring.

[msc545]

The quest for the thing or person you want is the whole reward. Having what you want is much less satisfying, and losing what you had is painful but exciting in that it opens the way for a new quest to get what you temporarily think you want.

Life is about seeking goals, not posessing them.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That’s a good view on this. I really did my best to save this relationship and to reunite with my ex fiancé. I guess it gives me the sense of satisfaction that I never gave up on him, it was very hard for me and I felt like giving up many times, because we were in a forced long distance due to pandemic. But I never gave up. So in a way it says that my personality is resilient and strong enough to never give up on its goals.

However the lesson from this experience was that, sometimes you should stop fighting with the world, allow yourself to relax and just accept that that is what it is, and you can do nothing to change, so you just have to let go.

[msc545]

good!

[MementoMori777]

You can't, that's why love is so powerful, it's the only craving worth chasing, you can try convincing yourself you can live without love but it's not true, at some point you'll feel the lack of it and you'll crave it, even people that have never felt it.. crave it, it's good to crave it, the world should have been thriving on love, love fills the heart and completes it, it's just the way it is.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

A career will never be as satisfying or rewarding as finding someone who loves you.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

So I guess you're pretty average after all

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That’s what I thought at 22. I was at the height of my studies and the beginning of my career, was extremely successful for my age.

I had a tough childhood, I set a goal, to always exceed my limits in everything and to never be average, because I didn’t have a luxury of that. I had to be the best. Had to.

Out of this whole text, why did you have to point at something that I mentioned from my 22 old self? Hurt your ego? And if so, what kind of self pleasure or ego boost does it give you whether I realized I am average or not?

I asked a question you can answer or pass if you’ve got nothing interesting to say.