Is my boyfriend manipulating me?

[TIGA293]

I’ve been with my boyfriend a year. For some reason I can’t trust him because of his actions. I’ve noticed that he likes photos of other girls he knows personally from school or college in a bikini. He recently liked her photo on instagram of a girl in a bikini on holiday. When I confronted him about it he showed me her prom photos and said “so do you not want me to like her prom pictures then?” As if it was my problem I confronted him about liking her bikini post. A month back I got paranoid and suspicious of his online behaviour so I looked at his phone and I found out that a month before we were official a female work colleague asked to come round to his and he said no but lead her on by sending her kissing emojis. I also noticed that he had sent flirtatious messages to another female work colleague saying “your new post is a thirst trap”. I confronted him about it and he told me that he sent that message to her before we were dating. But he recently deleted messages from three girls I complained about and his excuse when I confronted him was “well I knew you would have had a fit if you’d seen any female message me so I deleted all the messages and did a clear out”

Can I trust my boyfriend? Why do I feel like he’s being manipulative?

[SueShe]

I don't think that HE is manipulative but that YOU are controlling.

Checking on someone's phone without his/her knowledge is only a sign that you have trust issues. There is nothing in your story that would lead me to believe that he is manipulative. He even went further to avoid issues with you and your jealousy and deleted all pictures that could cause a conflict with you.

Also, I doubt that you are actually 29 as you state in your bio. This is not really the behavior of an adult and if you are indeed 29, then I suggest you have a self assessment. Watching other girls dressed in a bikini is not (yet) a sign that he is manipulating you or that he is emotionally cheating on you.

[Finchie40]

It sounds like he doesn’t really value you and respect you, he just likes the convenience of you , if he is being sneaky behind your back and liking all these other girls’ pictures it’s definitely an indication that he is clearly up to no good , whether he is acting on it or not , it is still disrespectful , cuz how would he feel if you were liking other Guy’s photos and being secretive about it? The only reason he deleted those comments or pictures was because you busted him red handed and now he is trying to play a victim when really he is the piece of shit. You should really reconsider that relationship. because it is clearly a sign that he doesn’t value you , I wouldn’t stay with a girl that was doing that shit behind my back , just because someone might not physically be cheating on you , they are clearly cheating on the relationship that they chose to be in with you , He is a selfish person that only cares about himself , find yourself a better man because he os clearly a child

[razelove]

It sounds more like he wants the attention. Also like he would cheat, but hasn't had the opportunity to. Messaging all over the place on instagram isn't an opportunity to cheat, there are plenty of other guys seeing the same image with the same reaction.
If he just talked with them you'd be cool with it, and maybe he would have a shot to actualize the cheating.
It sounds pathetic more so than a threat. Just talk to him about it and make him wear condoms if he's deleting messages. That's enough to push the rudder back on track. If he has a hobby of thirsting over women online, maybe explore humiliation play or something. That gets you farther rather than closer to getting laid. Onlyfans exists as a monumental proof of that.
The chances he can cheat are really low, I wouldn't put up with the attention being split away from me like that regardless.

[Ruthy61]

I can’t believe how judgmental the other female posters have been.
You’re age is irrelevant and it’s not about growing up.
However you may have some trust issues that you need to work through.
Whether it’s him being manipulative or you overthinking, doesn’t really matter.
You need to be able to trust each other.
Try having an open conversation with him and if things get better, great.
If you still have these thoughts and can’t trust him, get out.
It’s not about blame. It’s about being in a healthy relationship for both of you.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why do you need to ask us that question? You started with, "For some reason I can’t trust him."

1. You know the reason, and
2. You know you can't trust him.

The important question is "why are you still with him?"

[SirJohn42]

Well you dont like the behavior.
You can't trust his motives.
he's liking other womens bikini photos.
Telk him your uncomfortable with him doing so.
If he keeps it up best walk away.
When trust is broken or jealousy happens its not a good relationship.

My thing if he's into he wouldn't do those things. Seems to me he is searching for another relationship.
He may think you are controlling him by you looking at his phone.

Other way it takes two to tango.
Not sure the motive he has seeing other women. But just know guys are visible we like looking at women.

[Adam1978]

You are the problem and the manipulator here. Not your boyfriend. 1) you are aware what pictures he like/dislike on social media. Which requires that you watch him as a hawk, which isn't healthy or normal in a relationship. 2) you actually think a like has any meaning or value. You need to detox yourself from social media.

[Wisdom-Strength-Love]

Nah, guys will be guys. You need some harder evidence because it sounds like you being a little insecure. A like is just a like. From the perspective of girl in a bikini probably raking triple digit+ of 👍 , it likely has no impact, and should also be expected coming from your boyfrirnd. Therefore, they probably moved on and you probably thought about it more than they did.

[itsalyssaagain]

I think you have to trust your boyfriend otherwise there’s no point in being with him.
However, if he’s acting weird I’d say keep an eye out and once you catch something solid you can confront him.

[ButterflyCuddles]

It's hard but I would leave and be with someone who will be respectful to you. He dosen't seem very mature by his actions and it may result in braking you down over time.

[slatyb]

"I can't trust him." I don't have to read any more. Is he the last single man on your planet? Get the hell out.

[mommymommymommy]

Always trust your gut. You know him better than us. That's why you should always just trust your gut

[OddBeMe]

Bullshit. He’s hiding his sexy replies. He might not be “cheating” sexually but you asked him to stop and he didn’t. So fck him.

[CuriousMufuxka]

You both sound guilty as fuck! Holy shit you got a lot of dirt on a dude that most chicks would have just left and lied about his dick size..

[digitalguy01]

Liking a picture is just liking a picture nothing else. I don't see a big trouble here

[SoJust]

If trust is over in your relationship, that relationship is over

[Iron_Man]

That’s a problem you need to talk to him ASAP and get it resolved

[Anonymous]

Well, you are obviously not 29. This is teenage nonsense. You both need a wake-up call.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Prom pictures? Hiw old is your boyfriend? Lol

[Rosette949]

Hell no ! He is a damn liar

[Anonymous]

Yes he lives in your walls