It is bad to be friends with a gold digger?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Question as it says in the title.

My business associate is somewhat open about the fact that she married her husband (almost 20 years older than us) for money and little else, at least with me and her friends. I asked her if she would still be friends with me or my wife if we didn't have money.

She said probably yes, but when I asked her if she would have married me for money had we not had married other people, she said probably no because she thinks I'm a "psychopath" and she always feels she has to walk on eggshells around me; and while she loathes her husband she doesn't feel that way about him.

Updates

+1 y

To clarify, her thinking I am a "psychopath" is something of a joke, based on some past events about bad things happening to people I quarrel with. It's all fortune and nothing I have anything to do with personally, but people still think it's me because of my father's reputation.

She's one of those superstitious people, so she believes something bad might happen if she displeases me, and I often joke it might happen if she's not careful. Her husband was similarly scared of my father.

[Anonymous]

Why waste time with being “friends” with women who have nothing to offer you? I get you work with her but just saying. You can be friendly but not friends with these type of women.

Anyway her is my take on the gold digger phenomenon:

There was a time in history where women had to depend on men to provide and protect for them. Most women have subconscious (or overtly in your “friends” case) impulses to date and mate men they perceive that can provide/protect them despite this being no longer being necessary in the modern world. If women intentionally seek money they are just lazy, worthless and selfish. It’s a direct contradiction to feminism too. If anybody should be disgusted with these kind of women it should be modern feminists. But feminists generally have a “the woman is never wrong” motto so they conveniently ignore or even do mental gymnastics to justify this crap.

You can claim the old and/or ugly guy is a shallow chump. To a certain extent he is. The smarter thing to do is just get high end escorts to get his needs met. Ironically prostitutes are the most honest women. The transaction is right out on the table.

However he either likes having complete control over the woman (and she doesn’t have a leg to stand on either) OR he is naively hoping that she might have true feelings for him. Even if he knows that’s not true he’s hoping she will grow to love for who he is. His real wish is to have a young attractive woman love him genuinely. That’s why he doesn’t do escorts. He is hoping for that hopeless chance to be loved.

Also lots of rich guys made major sacrifices in their youth building their careers if they’re self made (and most of them are). They had less time to socialize and bs. Tony Montana quoted “first you get the money then you the power. Once you have the power then you get the woman”.

[Opinion Owner]

But that’s a half truth. Genuine woman will be attracted to a man’s drive. If he’s lucky she will notice him while he’s on the rise but not yet wealthy. This woman will respect his drive and who he is not the bank account.

But if he’s unlucky because he was too busy working his ass off to encounter a legit woman then he will be sadly stuck with disingenuous women like “you’re friend”. He will be a literal target for these women.

I know because I was semi-wealthy at one point a few years ago (I lost big on a very risky investment but that’s another story). I tried to keep it on the DL but when women saw my nice place and knew about things I was doing they wanted to “get more serious” yet my gut knew what it was really about.

Anyway there is again no excuse for women to be gold diggers in modern society. None. It’s 100% bullshit. And fuck you “feminists” for pretending women don’t do this crap or worse twist things into these women being a “victim” somehow. They are not.

But there is also no excuse for guys to be so weak to give in to that bs. I can understand they crave real intimacy from the hot girl of their dreams (who never got in their youth). They give into temptation given they have the means to “pay” for it.

But if you don’t have real respect from a woman you have nothing. It’s better to be alone and have self-respect. Get escorts if you need sex because at least that’s honest business. But don’t sacrifice your self respect to fulfill a vain fantasy.

[Summeroflove]

Well… she doesn’t seem like she’s a good friend to you if thinks you’re a psycho.


I don’t know… if she’s honest about what she wants. It’s her marriage. Not yours… If she was honest with her husband about what she wanted and she married him.


Well man, we’re all looking for different things. It’s not your job to get into their marriage.

[Account]

I don't consider it to be a bad thing being friends with a gold digger, I think it is neutral.
However, so far every time I have met a gold digger (regardless of their gender), we haven't had anything in common.
Our outlook on life was different, our outlook on love was different, our outlook on money was different, even our outlook on friendship was different.
Our hobbies and entertainment were also vastly differently, so there was no common ground.
If there was common ground I would be friends with them, but so far in my - almost- 32 years of age on this planet, it hasn't happened.

[Genie23]

I don't associated myself with anyone who do things that are against the morals and values I was taught growing up. So, no. I feel if I stay with someone who does bad things intentionally, if I spend a lot of time with them I'll end up absorbing things they say and get influenced over the time. So, I'd rather not. Whenever I find someone's a cheat or a gold digger or has connection with bad kind of people of something like that, I quickly distance myself from them before ending the friendship.

[MrOracle]

Most of the world is going to judge you by the company you keep, and if people hold a negative opinion about you, they still will probably be friendly to your face, but they just won't invite you to things, refer you to people, or offer you opportunities, and you will never know otherwise.

In my job, I have 6th generation customers - a customer referred a friend to me who then referred their friend to me and so on until I'm 6 levels deep. That allows me to not have to advertise (which is expensive and of limited return) and their friends already vouch for me. If I screwed up any of those relationships or offended or cheated anyone, you can be sure I'd just never have been given those referrals, and that would be tens of thousands of dollars lost that I would just never have known about.

[LazerBean]

I think so, personally. The kind of friends you keep says a lot about you and what you are okay with. And the people you associate with are going to influence you in some way or another, even if it's a little or even if it's counterintuitive in how that impact applies.

[imawfulatusernames]

Are we pretending the rich man 20 years older than her isn’t in on this deal ffs😅Like why are only the ‘gold diggers’ bad in this situation not the creepy older men fucking young women cause they can buy shit. Also if that’s what your friends say about you I’m genuinely scared of who you actually are.

[fonduegirl]

I would give her a shot.

My mom had this cheating gold digger friend at work who always had her back. If the supervisor insulted mom, she'd insult him on her behalf (she has the best comebacks). They might have the biggest fight and she'd still support my mom, which I appreciate.

In your case, I don't see a problem. Unless she particularly likes to flex her assets, which is annoying, idc.

[BoopBoopBeep]

A lot of times you are judged by the company you keep. Especially the higher up the social ladder the other person judging you is. Just sayin'...

[Nikki1989]

You can be friends. What someone does in their private life is none of your business anyway.

[Billlewis]

No, I don't think so, but I think it would make more sense to serve her as an obedient pay pig and personal slave, maid, etc.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

It’s ok to be friends with a gold digger as long as that friend isn’t digging for your gold.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm Christian, so I know a lot of gold-diggers lol. Unfortunately they are part of my community, so I can't hate all of them haha. (Even though I disapprove of their way of life.)

[Unit1]

Generally i don't build friendships with gold diggers. I generally hate gold diggers. You can of course do what you like.

[TheSpaceGnome]

She sounds like a psychopath, being her friend is a bad idea.

[itsalyssaagain]

I’m not a gold digger but I think some men deserve a wife like that. I said what I said lol.

[Unit1]

Understandably so. Something for everyone. kind of.

[itsalyssaagain]

@Unit1 Yeah

[msc545]

She may (or may) not be afraid of you to the point she thins staling from you isn't safe. Get rid of her anyway.

[Ms_Facesitter]

No. Just don't give her gold.

[PolkSallad]

No, not at all.

[FunkyMonkee]

Friends, no. In love with, YES!!

[OddBeMe]

No but drug dealers are A+

[mommymommymommy]

Very

[lorenzomichael]

Not if your broke.