If your wife asked you to go find a girlfriend, would you really do it?

[humanearth]

See, my wife is suffering from brain cancer and is dying. So she told me to go find a girlfriend.

I think she said that, so it would be a smoother transition for when she dies

We been a couple since the 1990s and this shocked the living hell out of me

How would you handle this?

(I was going to asked this anonymously, but most of you on here already know me and my wife personally and I figure why hide this anymore)

[Genie23]

I'm SO sorry to hear that. I could only imagine the pain you're going through. This broke my heart. I can understand how you must have felt when she asked you to find someone else because you love her and can't even think of being with someone else. While she's trying to be selfless and is concerned for you how you will stay strong when she's no longer with you. She wants you to feel loved and cared for. Know that someone will be there for you so she won't be worried when it's time. I'd feel shocked and heartbroken and sad ic my partner say that to me but I would express it gently that I know why you are saying this and it means a lot to me that you want me to be happy and not alone when you won't be around but the fact is I can't even imagine myself being with someone else. You're here. I love you and I will love you until the end. If I ever feel lonely and feel ready to have someone in my life again, I will consider dating someone but no one could replace you. The place you made in my life and heart will remain untouched. So, don't worry. I will try to look for someone if I need the company ever again but for now all I want to do is care for you and love you until the end so please don't say that again. It hurts me.

[Genie23]

I forgot to add space and separate it in two paragraphs. Sorry 🙊

[humanearth]

Thank you for your wonderful words.

I have told her kinda like the same thing, but you said it so much better

[Genie23]

You're most welcome. ☺️

The few good things I have is expressing myself but I can understand it's difficult to express when you're dealing with something heartbreaking, so I'm pretty sure she understood what you tried to express her because she's been with you for 30 years. I hope she won't ever say that again and just enjoy every moment she has with you. Just stay strong. I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk to or vent. Take care.

[humanearth]

Thank You, I'll keep it mind

[Genie23]

Thank you so much for MHO

[Apple1996]

She probably said that because it's common for people with cancer to get cheated on or left by their partners. Maybe she's worried about that and rather give you the option then have to deal with cheating or leaving.

My mom had cancer and a bunch of other health issues. She says similar things to my dad all the time like she'd rather just die alone to not burden anyone. It's really sad 😔

[humanearth]

As the cancer gets worse, the more distance she becomes with me and the family

[Guardian45]

Firstly, you have my unqualified sympathy and love.

One of my favorite cousins had brain cancer, and it was not pleasant. Fortunately, she had her two children survive her, who in turn have had kids. And her husband did remarry after a period of mourning. Knowing my cousin, she probably encouraged him to remarry although we have never talked about it.

[humanearth]

Thank you for the kind words

[Guardian45]

I consider you one of the nicer people here. I can also help with medical Qs you might have. If you need to talk or someone to listen, contact me anytime.

[humanearth]

I just might do that

[Guardian45]

🙂🙃😁👍

[Guardian45]

Thank you for MHG!

[exitseven]

OMG Humanearth I am really sorry to hear this. I would not find a girlfriend. I really hope that I die first so I don;t have to deal with this.

[humanearth]

Thank you

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I’m so sorry to hear things have gotten worse..
I guess I’d remind my spouse of the vows we took about in sickness and health till death do us part… They’re more than just words when you truly love someone. And I’m sure your wife knows they were more than just words to you after all the years you’ve been together. If you ever need an ear, I have two… But don’t forget to also take care of yourself and your health ok cuz you’ve been sick as well

[Finchie40]

It comes down to what you really want , if you love your wife with all your heart then don’t do it , just stand by her side until she passes , your wife is probably just feeling bad for you, because she probably can’t give you the intimacy and affection you crave from her anymore , and feels bad she can’t do that for you , but just think , if you were in her shoes would you want her Going out getting other dick in her? Listen to your marriage vows , until death do us part.

[andreasderjuengere]

Of course, I would... perhaps.

But only after giving her a comfortable ride into whatever comes next for her.

Sorry to hear about your challenge. Send her my regards, please. We may meet some other day. It will be a day with a friendly smile.

[EricSummer]

I would remember her words only much later when I'm ready for someone new. This is not going to be in a long time I suppose and certainly not while she lives.

[Andres77]

I couldn't have said it better than @Genie23

[Genie23]

Thank you so much 😇

[Likes2drive]

Oh my God I’m really sorry to hear that but I could not get a girlfriend while my dying wife is in that condition. I just wouldn’t have the emotional disconnect to do that.

[humanearth]

I agree

[BlackJeep]

I would say don't. Treat it like permission after she's gone. Maybe the brain cancer made the words come out her mouth different than she intended. It's a lovely gesture on her part.

[bananathunder]

I wouldn't do it. That would be pretty messed up in my opinion

[Juxtapose]

No, and if she's the true love my life then even in death we are bound together.

[Juxtapose]

I hope some sort of miracle happens for your wife man, that's awful beyond words.

[Anonymous]

No, that just wouldn't feel right. Id wait till after she passed.

[Charliefretz329]

It would be uncomfortable