Me and my male best friend have been hanging out and being close for the last 4 years. We both grew a lot and have been there for each other but he's gradually becoming more and more selfish while always blaming others and never reflecting on himself, thinking that he's so selfless (I can count many instances in which he wasn't there for me meaningfully) and also currently he's going through a very bad period. He quitted his job (he's freelancer but every professional relationship he had, he quit and drop people off like that with the minor argument or inconvenience). He's always blaming his ex bosses or colleagues for disrespecting him or either not paying him good but we all have started from somewhere and compromised our skills in order to have a career later. He never accepts to follow orders and he thinks he's above any structural form. If he was making thousands and he run a business being his own boss that behaviour would slide but honestly i started getting exhausted listening to him being deluded. He rationalizes his behaviour by saying that everybody is shit and animals and he doesn't want to be part of the world and that he can't wait to die- I tried everything, talked with him hours and hours, suggested therapy he's just thinking of himself as something superior than others and that is not helping to learn how to form genuine authentic relationships with people, with the first error someone makes he's out blocking people etc. The reason we haven't been in a fallout is because I am overall sweet person and take care of my loved ones but even me I started reaching my limits. Currently, he's unemployed but doesn't bother working any job until he finds something in his profession and every day he's complaining to me how he run out of money and everything is shit- how not to, when something good happens he's bombarding me with messages only talking about himself, when something bad happens, he's hating on everybody. I dont know how to help anymore.
Why am I feeling bad for not wanting to hang out with my friend anymore?
Updates
11 mo
To add here more context: he would ask for my advice, and I would always share my honest opinion but he never listened to me, for example this sudden quitting before securing another job- he says that he can handle this and etc but this has taken a massive blow on his confidence and overall mood. I also spotted some signs of him switching between moods so rapidly that I cannot keep up- when he's in a maniac episode he talks to me about feeling his purpose in the world and that he wants to dj
Updates
11 mo
but he never takes active steps to achieve his dream. He always comes up with an excuse on why he cannot just get a regular job save up (he's living with his parents and doesn't pay any rent or bills) to buy dj gear equipment. I lend him money from time to time in all this six months, paying for dinners and etc which I dont mind doing with all my heart if I would see him taking action to turn his life around instead of throwing it away.
