My boyfriend told me that if he talks to his parents after we have sex , he tells them we ‘have fun’. Feeling upset and violated?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been having issues with my boyfriend over sharing. He’s 26, I’m 22. His parents live abroad and he is in contact with them a lot and calls them most days. He recently told me that if he calls them after we do it, he sometimes tells them ‘we’ve just had fun’ etc. All I want is for him to respect my privacy, and I feel upset that he hasn’t. Am I overreacting? Is this an ok thing to do

[provokeesmokee]

I think you're reading into it, but it's worth talking to him about how you feel.

Most likely, they think he means "we went on a date and had a good time doing date stuff" - purposefully vague and non-sexual.

Most people don't think "they fucked" when they hear "we had fun" in general terms.

But you are valid in wanting to make sure he knows not to out your sex life to his parents.

Honestly I doubt he's talking about sex. It is not generally something parents wanna hear about from their kids and viceversa.

[Asker]

No honestly, he told me that by having fun he meant sex

[Asker]

And his parents understood it meant sex, he talks about sexual topics with his parents

[intovertedguy]

I find it very strange your boyfriend is telling is parents about your sex life and also it's also strange is parents don't ask him to stop telling them that.
I'm wondering if there's something cultural about this matter.
Where is he from?

[Asker]

@intovertedguy he’s from Eastern Europe, it’s funny because I never thought that Eastern Europeans were like this culturally

[glennos89]

Dont overreact, his parents will know anyways that you guys have sex together.
It's kinda immature to tell your parents you had fun but his parents know how realtionships work so its unnecessary information for your boyfriend to tell to his parents. They know and they dont care because sex is part of having a relationship 🤷‍♂️

Don't feel ashamed about it because his parents aren't thinking about that when they visit. Only you are overthinking the whole situation.

Let it go, enjoy the time you spent with him and be concerned about things that really mather. Everyone has sex it's a natural thing to do 🤷‍♂️

Just tell him that you would appreciate if he doesn't tell his parents when you guys have sex but dont overthink it

[ImalwaysrightOK]

No your not overreacting. If you're the same girl that I answered about this a couple of days ago saying that he's talking to his parents about your sex life, no. You need to discuss the concept of privacy with him. Intimate things between a couple are private. You should tell him to respect your feelings and not talk to others about private things in your relationship.

[Asker]

Yes that probably was me. I’mjust so upset. His dad has come over to visit, when I speak to him I just feel humiliated that he knows this stuff:(

[Xoxocutekitty]

It's a bit disrespectful to you that all he sees of your sex life is that "it's fun".

Sex is fun, AND it's also meaningful, a way to connect, and a very private and intimate experience.

I don't know if he's too young/immature where he is just bragging about himself getting some, but I agree its disrespectful to you to have him bragging about scoring (what a stud), since often this has inverse effects in perception for you (a woman), especially for a generation older like his parents.

he's not setting you or your relationship for long term potential and I think your feminine intuition is telling you this.

[DaveJord]

You are trying to control what he tells his paraments?

Yeah, you're overreacting... maybe you should tell him to respect your privacy and I will respect yours. So maybe its best you do not tell me what you tell your parents, because that is private between you and them.

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao he sounds like a weirdo. But also now you know how he is, so you can choose to stay and call him out on it OR cry in silence and let it keep happening OR simply leave. Sounds like you’re bait for some weirdo family

[Asker]

He’s so good in other ways, I’m so heartbroken , I am seriously considering splitting:(

[DizzyDesii]

Im serious the way he updated them on this sounds like some odd sex cult

[dynamicyandere]

FR. The fact that he tells them every time is weird AF.

[DizzyDesii]

@dynamicyandere very

[Asker]

@dynamicyandere I don’t think it’s every time, but several times he’s told them, maybe coinciding with phone call from them later on. Unfortunately, he speaks another language so I don’t know what he’s saying on the phone

[JamesMI616]

You're not overreacting and it's super weird that he's talking to his pastor and parents about your sex life. Super weird. I'm not sure why but that's a red flag. It's one thing to tell a friend, but even then you stop when asked to. It's never wrong to set a boundary and expect that it's respected

[MementoMori777]

You should tell him that, tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and that you want him to respect your privacy and not tell his parents when y'all have sex because it's invasive to your privacy, if he doesn't respect that then that would me that he's just not a very considerate boyfriend no

[MementoMori777]

Mean*

[Asker]

:( His dad has come over to visit, when I speak to him I just feel humiliated that he knows this stuff:(

[MementoMori777]

You should tell your boyfriend

[zeitgeist057]

Ask him what he tells them if he just masturbated before calling them.

[dynamicyandere]

Right? 🤣

What is he gonna say?

“Hey mom and dad, I just finished playing with myself and had a lot of fun!”

[miadee]

I don't think he means "had sex" I think whenever he tells his parents he means you guys "had fun" means drunk, watch some stuff, went out etc. I don't think he meant you two had sex.

[Asker]

No, honestly, he meant have sex. He told me that by have fun he meant sex (and his parents knew that too)

[miadee]

That's "very little bit" disrespectful but not too much. You can solve the problem by talking with your ex about your discomfort.
I still don't think that's a thing you can entirely upset. He spent intimate time with you and his parents know that too.. I personally have seen worse things, honestly.

For example my exs parents didn't want me or his mom still talking and loving with his ex even though they broke up... So I don't think you should be upset.

[Simslover92]

That is weird to be honest. You need to tell him to stop doing that because it really bothers you and upsets you which you have every right to feel.

[Anonymous]

Yes and no. I think it's kind of weird to even bring up. But c'mon. It's not like they don't know what's happening. At your ages he's probably proud of it though. So I'd just try to keep that in mind even while it's a bit mortifying.

[Jamie05rhs]

Break up with him. He's too immature to be in a relationship. And he has zero manners.

[anon1903]

That's really creepy haha

[Wise4myage]

Wow, Id wonder just how kinky his family is?

[brandon1122]

That's a red flag. You deserve better girl