My boyfriend tells all our problems to his parents?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday, I discovered that my boyfriend tells ALL of our problems to his dad.
No, seriously, all of them.
Obviously, I didn't like it, so he said that that is the kind od relationship he has with his dad, he gives him good advices when we have an argument through a text... he actually said his dad told him that " I probably have too much free time" (because we fight quite sometime) etc.
He even had to let them know that we had a pregnancy scare, and they even told him to buy a pregnancy test and called him to check results! He told his mum all of the pregnancy symptoms I had and talked to her about it, without asking me if I am comfortable to share such an intimate things with them!
I'm so ashamed really, I have no idea how to look those people in the eye. I told him that those are private things, arguments and sex, yet he doesn't listen, he runs to his daddy and mummy for advice for every single argument we have!
Worst, he just has a mentality "take it or leave it, that's how I am".
What should I do? I love him to death, but I don't want to live like this.

[DavidFox]

You have every right to feel the way you feel, he isn’t keeping private things that should be private. Worst off he’s venting to his parents when at least he could be venting to a friend. But you love him so I’ll give you the guy perspective.


As a guy he loves his parents and at least at this point in his life prioritizes the parent/child relationship with them over the romantic relationship with you. He doesn’t want to lie to them so when they ask about the relationship he feels open to vent and share everything. After all they are his parents, love him, and give him advice. So when you tell him some things are private and that he is wrong, to him it’s like asking to choose them or you and he’s picking them every time. His parents want him to be happy so they check in and tell him what to do.


With that said, you can make improvements. One thing that us guys like is lists. So if you can talk to him calmly one day, list a few examples that are ok info to share and a few examples that are private. Let him know why they are private and those are things you also don’t share with anyone else. Explain how it’s you and him versus the outside world and by not airing your dirty laundry outsiders see a unified couple that has each other’s back. Oh and suggest he learns to vent to a best friend and starts to give less details to his parents.


I’d you can execute this you will help him grow up a bit and become more independent. Remind him that once he gets married (way down the road) he can’t run to his parents every time and will work with his wife on things directly.

[DavidFox]

Also in the short term stop giving him evidence... don’t argue over text. Instead use text for information exchange and save any arguments for in person or at least on a phone call.

[OlderAndWiser]

Could you live the rest of your life having details constantly reported to his parents. If not, he has already outlined your options: take it or leave it.

[EmmaMary]

Quote "Worst, he just has a mentality "take it or leave it, that's how I am". End Quote.
I certainly know which of those two options I would be taking.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHGirl.

[WesBrewer]

If he won't change he doesn't care enough about you anyway, and you should probably leave now to have minimum heart ache.

[Wise4myage]

You need to put a stop to this, or better yet, just get rid of him.

[S5ARR0W]

it is normal