Thinking of breaking up with my partner and need help?

[Anonymous]

I guess I’ve had doubts for about a year now mostly because of our age difference (just under 8 years). I am older.

I was super happy in the beginning. He was perfect and I was excited for our future… we got engaged and I couldn’t wait to plan our lives.

I have an excellent job and savings that I would be able to buy somewhere with for us and I have offered to do that. He has set up his own company and I have helped him with every aspect of it. I have exhausted myself helping him and he has been moody lately. I put it down to him being tired from work…it is a physical job and he is not the fittest but makes no effort anymore to look after himself. Doesn’t even clean his teeth sometimes.

Then we have a discussion and it’s the same one we’ve had several times…he wants his car or motorbike back. Basically a boy toy. He’s just bought himself a van for work so he can have his own company but he’s not happy with that… he says he doesn’t want to “lose himself”. I wouldn’t mind but he had a pretty lonely sad life before we met and he gave up his motorbike and car because he wasn’t bothered about them. He wants it ALL and life just doesn’t work like that does it? Unless you get handouts from family and we don’t have those. I feel like maybe he wants to be back home with his mother but he’s 27 and not a child anymore. He has a 30 year old brother living at home though.

My problem is if he starts to “find” himself with someone else who doesn’t have the bills/cleaning discussions with him because they aren’t living with him full time… maybe I got boring when shit got REAL. I don’t know all I do know is I can’t help that I am successful and I feel like he resents me… I am not his mother. I am a woman’s with needs and my need right now is to have a mate who is going to be my best friend and life partner and have my back through thick and thin.

I need to finish it and I know that. It’s just so very hard and I feel incredibly sad 😔

[BoobSlayer]

I'm sorry to hear that you are considering breaking up with your partner. Have you talked to them about your feelings? It's important to be honest and open about how you're feeling in order to work through things together. It's also important to remember that relationships take work and there can be bumps in the road.

It might help to express your feelings through activities such as playing with your melons, honkers, boobies, tits, milkers, chesticles, bazoombas, coconuts, fiery biscuits, cantaloupes, boom booms, noogies, and jugs.

[Decoded93]

I think you deserve better, you need a man not a boy

[Asker]

Thank you… I think I deserve better too but it’s so hard right now

[provokeesmokee]

You are making the right choice. And you have the issues clearly in mind.

You're right, he needs to be on his own to learn and grow. He can't do that - or really learn what it's like to run his own biz - if you're basically mother, manager, and mate.

And you deserve someone who will celebrate and encourage your success, not be resentful of it.

[Asker]

I know these things but it helps to hear them from someone with an outsiders perspective so thank you for replying. I can’t believe the man who proposed to me is the man I’m having to end things with. I have a holiday booked with him that I have to go on first so that’s going to be awful. Got any advice for that? To be honest, I’m hoping it just cements my decision

[provokeesmokee]

I hear you. I had a ex-fiancé like your boyfriend and likewise was hit with disbelief and disappointment when he revealed himself to be a total idiot.

My suggestion: don't do the holiday. You don't owe him that.

But if you really like where you're going, do your best to get separate beds and take some time to explore on your own. Your boyfriend can work on his business as you go out and enjoy yourself.

It does make sense to do one last holiday to cement your decision. But if you know you're done, it's my opinion to let him go sooner rather than later.

I knew halfway through getting my ex up to Canada that it wasn't worthwhile, but his mother was my ticket home so I had to play along until I knew I was safely on my way. It sucked but it wasn't much worse than the usual relationship with him. Just higher stakes.

[Singing_Hollow]

Its only hard because of the amount of emotional investment you have made already. You need a man thats going to get his ass up and man up. you need to tell him this or you're out. you're not his mother and a relationship is 2 people.

[larry69]

Just break up and tell him exactly how you feel!!

[Asker]

I am going to do that I’m just so scared