I guess I’ve had doubts for about a year now mostly because of our age difference (just under 8 years). I am older.
I was super happy in the beginning. He was perfect and I was excited for our future… we got engaged and I couldn’t wait to plan our lives.
I have an excellent job and savings that I would be able to buy somewhere with for us and I have offered to do that. He has set up his own company and I have helped him with every aspect of it. I have exhausted myself helping him and he has been moody lately. I put it down to him being tired from work…it is a physical job and he is not the fittest but makes no effort anymore to look after himself. Doesn’t even clean his teeth sometimes.
Then we have a discussion and it’s the same one we’ve had several times…he wants his car or motorbike back. Basically a boy toy. He’s just bought himself a van for work so he can have his own company but he’s not happy with that… he says he doesn’t want to “lose himself”. I wouldn’t mind but he had a pretty lonely sad life before we met and he gave up his motorbike and car because he wasn’t bothered about them. He wants it ALL and life just doesn’t work like that does it? Unless you get handouts from family and we don’t have those. I feel like maybe he wants to be back home with his mother but he’s 27 and not a child anymore. He has a 30 year old brother living at home though.
My problem is if he starts to “find” himself with someone else who doesn’t have the bills/cleaning discussions with him because they aren’t living with him full time… maybe I got boring when shit got REAL. I don’t know all I do know is I can’t help that I am successful and I feel like he resents me… I am not his mother. I am a woman’s with needs and my need right now is to have a mate who is going to be my best friend and life partner and have my back through thick and thin.
I need to finish it and I know that. It’s just so very hard and I feel incredibly sad 😔