It ended mostly amicably despite caring a lot about each other (so I thought). How can people move on so quickly?
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Its not hard. I loved this one dude the 2 years we were together. But there was also some things I began to dislike about him. I tried to discuss it and he didn't set out to improve. It got worse and worse. That starts to build up a bit like resentment and you just lose a few more cool points each time. By time we ended, there wasn’t much left to still love and want. I felt free again and knew I could stop wasting time with him and find someone better suited for me. I didn't intentionally go out seeking someone new right then and there. I cried for like 3 days and then tried to get out of the house. I found a deep love for karaoke and within 2 weeks, had met someone else who sang the duets with me. My focus had shifted to someone new. Its not hard to move on especially when the new person is fulfilling what the last didn't. Its like taking someone whose been on a diet into a candy store or buffet. Hot damn! Look at all the options I’ve been missing 🤣
https://www.youtube.com/embed/wzZWXrlDj-Ahttps://www.youtube.com/embed/DwGKDF9Y1r428 Reply- +1 y
Did not mean to link that second song 🥴
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@DizzyDesii But it works perfectly. I literally laughed so hard. :D
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@Wraith_Cemetery lol well at least it made someones day 😩🙈😂
- Asker+1 y
The breakup has actually put me off dating for a while but I guess my feelings were pretty strong since I was willing to take the good with the bad.
- +1 y
I also took the good with the bad, many months longer than i should have. But thats also enough time to slowly get over someone even while being with them
- Asker+1 y
I’m talking about the stuff that makes relationships work though, not what makes you realise you’re not compatible.
- +1 y
I am referring to the same thing. I put in a lot into both of my 2 year relationships. At the same time, my judgment was clouded because of how in love we were. But the more wrong that one or both of you do, it slowly removes the fog, making you realize that its just not gonna work. So i fell out of love as did your guy and thats why its not so hard to move on after the breakup because we likely fell out of love while still in a committed relationship
- Asker+1 y
Nah it’s different, I have had time to reflect and can already tell by what you say that it’s not the same.
Most Helpful Opinions
3.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Some people are afraid to be alone , so they latch on to the next person , basically a rebound , thinking that this new person is going to save them and love them the way they deserve to be loved, the truth of it all is , they only love themselves , they never fully loved you , they loved the convenience of you and what they could get from you , so look at it this way , they did you a favor by latching onto someone else right away because they are going to dig their own grave when they realize that new person is going to be nothing like they thought they would be , and usually Karma hits hard when that new person turns around and leaves your ex for someone else, What most people don’t realize is no one is going to save you , all relationships our a 50/50 chance on whether they will make it or not , Most people are infatuated with each other when they meet someone new , thinking this person is going to love me like no other but when the infatuation period starts to fade away usually the relationship does as well , Why I no longer jump into a committed relationship with any girl until I feel she is really in it for the long haul and not just trying to use me as a convenience, So your ex is pretty much setting himself up for disaster thinking this new girl is going to save him and love him the way he wants to be loved but sadly your ex doesn’t know how to love because he only loves himself
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It's jumping from one drug to another for some... which helps to avoid processing negative emotions. So that's avoidance. Moving quickly doesn't mean it's good... as they drag around their issues as they accumulate and never deal with the broken pieces.
Some don't attach the same, so many attachment styles and emotional depth. If you were carrying the load emotionally, trying to keep the relationship, and he was blocking or out already, that explain it.
Going through the process and rising up again is better in my view.
32 Reply- Asker+1 y
That does sound like him in all honesty. I was the first person he dated after his divorce (I’ve never dated a divorced guy before and me being naïve was willing to give everyone a chance, it’s definitely jaded me now though and has put me off divorced men).
- +1 y
yes that sounds like "rebounding"... in other words, he can't emotionally attach. I see it in women as well, it's human. People aren't taking sufficient time to suffer and heal. On your side, eventhough there's a void to fill, have to really pay attention to the other person for healthy/unhealthy emotional state... and bail early to avoid such pain. Turning your pain to wisdom, any neediness to strength, can help avoid such scenario again. That helps free you up to embark on your own journey again.
lord knows I was sucked in by such people, some of it is personality and vulnerabilities. work on yourself... you are the only one you control!
good luck!
- Anonymous(25-29)+1 y
Either he is looking for his next victim or he didn’t truly care about the relationship. I don’t know how it ended. If it ended on good terms or if it ended on bad terms. Shit my last guy told me he needed time over Snapchat. We used to work together. At least have the balls to tell me in person! It didn’t take him a month and he was already in another relationship. I didn’t find out until 3 months later. He made a Instagram account and he came across as people you may know or friends you may know I don't know whatever instagrams is. The only reason I found out about her was because he had a picture of those two on there and his account wasn’t private so I found out who it was he was only following 4 people and looked at her account. He dumped her a month or so later and then she got pregnant with his child. He had a child before so this is number two and I don't know if he even knows he has another kid. Either way he wouldn’t see her. Both were in different states. What a dick, but thank god I dodged a bullet. I now have a major crush on this one guy and I don't know what’s happening. I hope it works out but we both are terrible texters so fingers crossed on that one.
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What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
33Opinion
565 opinions shared on Relationships topic. I think that would depend pretty heavily on why you broke up in the first place. I've had relationships that took me a while to get over because of being blind sided, and ones where I snapped back like a bouncy ball because of lying, getting everything in order for a clean break, and executing it.
10 Reply- +1 y
It's called moving on. Some are better at it than others. After my amicable divorce, I started dating about 2 months later.
00 Reply - +1 y
Men move on quickly from relationships because they are better at compartmentalizing emotions. This allows them to separate the feelings associated with the relationship and move on without lingering too long. Additionally, they may be more likely to take risks and try new things, so a breakup might be seen as an opportunity. Furthermore, men generally focus more on the present and the future than dwelling on the past, which makes it easier to move on. They also prioritize physical and emotional independence and may feel the need to prove themselves which could motivate them to quickly move on from a relationship. Therefore, it's not uncommon for men to be especially resilient to heartbreak and, often times, move on faster than women.
42 Reply- Asker+1 y
Doesn’t pushing things down mean they’ll just resurface though?
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Not sure I agree with every part of that but can't tell you how refreshing it is to see someone of your age thinking for themself and differentiating between men and women rather than being another brainwashed automaton casualty of woke/fem inism and gender fantasy.
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For him to move on that quickly, it means he has been emotionally detaching already for some time + likely had someone who was interested in him, that he’s been in contact with.
(It doesn’t always mean cheating, but he likely had a girl in his orbit that was ready to step in if the relationship were ever to go south.)34 Reply- +1 y
But, it’s also still possible for him to only start talking with other people after the breakup. For him to enter a new relationship so seamlessly though, he would have definitely withdrawn his emotional investment from the relationship long ago, for months at least.
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I’m sorry to hear about this though. Heartbreak is always very painful. And the feeling of betrayal can feel even stronger if there’s was any possibility of cheating. It’s okay to cry and allow yourself to mourn. I hope you feel better soon. It’s not the end. Life will get better.
- Asker+1 y
Thank you, I appreciate the kind words.
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You’re welcome. ☺️
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I don’t know… But has happened to me and I know how awfully painful it is. It also shakes your whole view about love, loyalty, relationships, betrayal, life, human.
It makes you feel so worthless, you might take a few months to feel a bit like yourself again.
34 Reply- Asker+1 y
Thank you
- Asker+1 y
It’ll always hurt I think, these things always have an impact and shape who we are. We just learn to live with it.
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You’ll get better, I had days I felt so hurt I thought my heart would just stop beating. But your heart won’t stop beating, you’ll live, you’ll laugh and you’ll love again.
- Asker+1 y
Thank you, I really needed to hear that.
Try less than 24 hours before she was barfing some other guy, the same guy she made out with while I was an hour away at uni.
Oh don't worry that same week - she totalled her car, got sick and 2 months later her parents tossed her out. So yeah karma is a bitch
But nonetheless it hurts tremendously
20 Reply- +1 y
During a relationship it sometimes happens to a man that a woman is interested in him, but he does not follow up as he is not available and remains faithful.
He may have a good memory for such things, though, and contact a short list of women in the time following the breakup.
If one is still available, chances are good that she will want to date him.21 Reply- +1 y
It's called a "lady in waiting".
- Anonymous(30-35)+1 y
some people just don't want to stay in the past or grieve. it's best to move on. it's likely he was already over the relationship before it was over. of course, it's way better to have time for yourself and be single for a bit and find yourself. but some people just cannot be alone. i have a friend like that. jumped from relationship to relationship because she refused to be alone. while one relationship was about to end, she was already starting another. it's sad. the shortest she's gone without a relationship (from when i've known her) has been like a week! ridiculous, isn't it?
10 Reply - +1 y
Mentally he moved on before the breakup. He must have seen it coming.
31 Reply- Asker+1 y
And I asked him multiple times to be honest with me, but did he? Nope, why are some men such cowards..
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Unfortunately people do move on & some people it takes years & some people can move on within days. As for you treasure the good moments in your past relationships & try to move forward from the bad moments.
Good for your ex for moving on! Maybe you should do the same.
10 Reply - 1 y
Here is how I look at it. The person who needs the most time and grieves the most is the one who didn't want the relationship to end and wanted to stay with that person for life. The person who wants out and has been mulling over getting out of the relationship, they are already looking around and sizing up other people and flirting and they are ready to go seek out other options because they've emotionally been finished with their current relationship already.
10 Reply - +1 y
Yeah, these are the guys that claim they never had feelings to begin with when they leave their long-term partner. Basically, they’re cowards for not doing the hard thing upfront and just using the other persons affections for their convenience.
20 Reply 907 opinions shared on Relationships topic. With very little difficulty , it was quite obviously something he had in mind prior to the break up , he was ready to move on and he did so , not a big deal , and not something for you to be concerned about either quite frankly.
Just get ready to move on yourself.
10 Reply- +1 y
Some people cannot bear to be alone. Some people can be married for decades, get widowed, and remarry within months.
34 Reply- Asker+1 y
Yeah I do think a part of that relates to him
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The point is, it does not reflect upon you.
- Asker+1 y
Thank you. I feel like it kinda does in some ways though but I know you’re right.
- Asker+1 y
Why might he be trying to make me jealous now too then?
1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic. easy, she was over you long before the break up, just wasn't looking forward to the actual breaking up part.
It is always easier to be the one doing the breaking up.
You know it is going to happen, you have already moved on and many times you will have either someone already, or waiting in the wings for you.20 Reply- +1 y
Men hate being alone. We need a girl in our lives even if she is the wrong girl. Women on the other hand when they leave a relationship they tend to stay alone for a while before getting back into a relationship. Not us men.
11 Reply- Asker+1 y
That seems to be the way. Just out of curiosity from a guys perspective, why do men hate being alone so much?
He checked out of the relationship long ago.
11 Reply- Asker+1 y
But would still come around for sex. Bastard.
532 opinions shared on Relationships topic. More than likely, the ex had already lost interest before the actual breakup. That, or this is a rebound.
10 Reply- +1 y
Chances are, he was already seeing the new girl long before he broke up with you.
12 Reply- Asker+1 y
He said he wasn’t and his online dating profile kept changing during those first few weeks like he was trying different ways to find someone. But he could’ve just been doing that for show.
- Asker+1 y
He was also messaging me for a while after and wanted to meet up again but I couldn’t be sure of his intentions so couldn’t at that point in time.
7K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Because he was already moving on whilst u was still together so when it ended u started to move on but he already had
11 Reply- +1 y
Trust me when someone moves on that quickly means the other woman has been in his life for a while.
10 Reply - 1 y
The girl that likes me/i like (weve liked each other for a LONGGGGGGG time), she just got out of a bad one, and we're already kissing. Nothing serious, yet, just kissing
10 Reply - +1 y
Some folks move on quick, some folks rebound and struggle, some folks take forever.
Everyone's different, but you can be sure this is probably just a rebound for him.00 Reply 8.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. It is easy. I even moved on the same day. Life is too short for wasted opportunities.
10 ReplyThey haven't jumped into anything. They were already in another relationship and dumped you when things worked out with the other.
10 Reply- +1 y
Have you considered that maybe, just maybe, this was getting its start before you actually broke up?
00 Reply 2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. For one, dating someone for 2 years doesn't necessarily mean much of anything.
02 Reply- Asker+1 y
Wow, that sounds quite harsh! I guess some people “commit” without actually commuting. Not me though so that doesn’t speak to me. I don’t have such strong attachment issues.
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Because he already had her lined up. It’s that simple.
00 Reply Bcoz he is a human, everyone needs a companion. He can't dwell in the past. You know single life sucks.
02 Reply- Asker+1 y
Single life doesn’t suck, there are pros and cons to both. But I guess some people just prefer to be in “relationships”.
- Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 y
Men can easily drop emotional baggage especially with a li'l help from a few brewskies or a joint and a place to unload their semen.
00 Reply - Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 y
Few people have ever experienced true love and most have no idea of this. But often this fact shows itself in situations as you just described.
00 Reply - +1 y
I can jump into. a new relationship within days of a breakup.
It's easy. When it's over, I simply move on
.00 Reply 321 opinions shared on Relationships topic. People only leave a relationship when they have someone else to go to unless the breakup is for some type of abuse.
00 Reply- +1 y
I've never understood that beyond a rebound. It's mostly why I've ceased contact after me and my ex's are over. Let's move on separately.
00 Reply - +1 y
If they did, they check out a long time ago, and never really cared
00 Reply - +1 y
Because he moved on long before you guys broke up.
00 Reply That’s messed up I’m sorry to hear that
11 Reply- Asker+1 y
Thank you
1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Some people have a new partner in a week
10 Reply- +1 y
I believe it’s called…co-dependency
12 Reply- +1 y
explain?
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You can’t be alone. You always need to be in a relationship or you feel incomplete and panicky
625 opinions shared on Relationships topic. He had her waiting in the wings maybe?
10 ReplyBecause he left you months before he told you.
10 Reply- +1 y
Yes, because my girl want, the actoon
02 Reply- Asker+1 y
Huh?
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@Asker, sorry for the mistake, wrong opinion
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He is a manwhore
00 Reply - +1 y
Rebound.
00 Reply
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