Boyfriend won't give me a job at his company and says I will never be part owner even if we marry, red flag?

[Anonymous]

Going anon because he knows my standard username.

My boyfriend of 2 years has this company he started, I'm not 100% sure of what he does but I know they build some sort of mobile apps for some businesses. He started it himself and it has become quite successful and he is a really good boss, free daycare provided, they only work half day Friday, he pays everyone really well, free snacks and drinks provided, company gym, everyone is really happy and loves their job.

Anyway he mentioned that work was getting busier so he's going to start looking for a new person, and I asked him if I could do the job because I hate my current job and it would be great if we worked together and I'd earn a lot more, and he flat out said No!

He said he will always keep his work and love life separate, that way there can be no conflict or favouritism.

I asked him "and what about if we get married one day and I own half, then what happens?" and he said that "no, there will be a prenup clause to keep the business safe, and that it's in a trust anyway that is pretty untouchable".

I'm really mad about this now, and I blew up at him and told him how selfish it was an untrusting, and he said some crap about how he built this business himself, he's not giving up half of it to anyone and that I need to drop it or we'll break up.

Red flag? Thoughts?

[WindAtMyBack]

I tend to agree with him. While it's possible for something like that to work, overall I think it's a bad idea to bring in a SO. There are just too many potential problems.

He has a strong obligation to that company. Bringing you in is not in the best interest of the company. Of course this is all assuming there is an opening for someone with your education, skill and experience in the first place.

"what about if we get married one day and I own half"

What makes you think you'd own half? In the interest of the company that would be a VERY bad move. Like really really bad.

[petitedollbabee]

I’m with him on this. It’s his business, he’s gone through all the hard work to get it started and be successful, I don’t think it’s fair for you to automatically get half of it just because of marriage. If you divorce, he loses half of what he spent years building when you didn’t lift a finger to build it. That’s not fair on him. And as for keeping work life and love life separate, he’s smart to do that. Healthy relationships require breaks from your partner. Being around each other 24/7 at home and at work would increase the chances of arguments, and you would both end up burnt out and sick of each other.

[petitedollbabee]

I think that you not understanding his side of it, is the red flag. I’m not sure if you understand healthy boundaries.

[Spongebobssocks]

I have to agree with him. Its important you have seperates lives too. His business is his thing. You can start your own business if you want!

And also you should be with him because you love him not for his money. A prenup shouldn't upset you. The goal is to never get a divorce if you do get married right?

Plus business should never be personal. And if he hires his own wife that will look really bad for the company. I see no good that can come with it to be honest.

If I were you I'd start my own company or search for other jobs.

[Spongebobssocks]

Thank you for MHO!

[Anonymous]

It's his business. He made it a success. I don't agree that any future wife should have ownership of something he brought into a marriage. I think he's right.
You can argue about what is created during the marriage if you are his wife.
Right now you are just a girlfriend. To my mind you need need to get over it. Hopefully he holds his ground.

[Anonymous]

I have to side with your boyfriend on this. Business and family do not always mix well. Even if you do get married, there’s always the chance you might get divorced. Signing a prenup doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or doesn’t trust you, it’s just a form of insurance should anything go wrong. Nobody enters a marriage expecting to get divorced, but everyone who does marry knows that divorces can and do happen.

[BoopBoopBeep]

You're mad that you don't get half of something he built and you didn't do anything for but HE is the selfish one?

The only red flag is on your side. I hope he get wise before it's too late.

[Kiss_Me]

Nepotism, or the perception of it would be a real problem if you worked in the same office. Especially if your SO is your boss.

I agree with NOT wanting you in the office.

[NotInterestedSorry]

I'm with him. He is doing the right thing not hiring you and doing what he can to protect his business.

[inhua]

many workplaces have a no fraternization rule and there's a reason for that

[Drumlin2001]

You don't even know what the company does but you want your slice?

[DermalPunch]

You're complaining because?

[DermalPunch]

If you want to be in business start your own instead of. riding his coat tails. You are entitled to nothing.