a Sometimes, I realize that some people are happier when they are not in a relationship. Have you ever felt the same? Why do relationships not make them happy? Any suggestions or examples?
most of my multiple reasons can be condensed down to a single phrase, less stress and my own peace.
too many have unrealistic dating criteria that you must wade through to even attempt to find a maybe even for a few minutes.
the wishy-washy "i want my partner like this" inly to have every partner chosen be none of said things. (actions speak louder than words)
too many are seeking the end result at the pre-beggining then wonder why relationship fails and often goes on to blame the other person/gender. as in wanting the partner to be what they wouldbe after a few decades building together when spotted in say the club (have not even said hello and introduced yourself yet) .
the double standards
most of what i would want (a decent amount of my criteria) apparently do not want me. also most of those who would want me do not meet my basic criteria. some examples of not meeting my basic criterias are my age range prefferences, my views on drugs/alcohol, weight size, mental stability, and (this is a huge one) faithfulness (thanks hookup culture) . there are some others, this is just a list of the top few that are automatically a nope.
the general ability of no one to actually love unconditionally (true zero conditions beyond existing) as humanity has lost the ability to do this. everyone puts some sort of conditions on love (yes including me) and this is a part of why i say man (as in humans for the snowflakes) lost the ability to truly know love or how to love.
thanks to ideals placed by modern feminism, wokeness, and other such groups/ideaologies women as a whole (individuals may be one off exceptions somewhere out there) have way overpriced their part of a relationship (think used 72 pinto priced as a 2046 bently, ferrari, lambo hybrid, brand new on the showroom floor and fully loaded with extras) (or as numbers lets say the pinto is worth a max of $3000 but the price veing forced on you is $99,999,999.99) . am sure there is something on us guys' side along these lines as well but s i am not into guys i would as easily see it.
am self aware enough to know am no longer any good for a relationship as i have been burned past the point of no return. eventually i would turn toxic and already lost the ability to actually love like that (almost dont even miss it either) . some of this is never fixable by the way as one reason is hatred that another persons actions have caused others to need fixing in the 1st place seeing as the one/s doing the bad things should be the one/s having to fix things. (you dont break something on your car then expect the car to fix its self but humans do expect other humans to fix themselves from what the 1st human did to "break" the other/s) . which leaves me with the feeling of "let humans stop procreating and die off as their/our actions have lead us to that and i will laugh as i watch it happen (yes this is an idea of how far past the point of no return i have been pushed) and that ALL women are unworthy/not enough. so i just stay to myself, partly to not inflict this venemousness onto others further perpetuating the back and forth problems.
Speed is my answer.
When you're dating you have to speed up or down your life to accommodate another person
When single you can go at it at your own pace.
Overall both can bring happiness as well as sadness but some people prefer the perks of solitude over those of companionship
Probably the fact, that you only have got yourself and yeah, it might feel a bit lonely sometimes but it’s also empowering, cozy.
Right now I am sitting in front of a pomegranate tree 10 meters from the shore of the lake, with a book on my lap and I feel content.
I could have a man on my lap instead of a book, but I think I feel way more content this way.
I don’t have to please another human being, here’s only me. My wish is my command, I am my own hero, my own god, my own protective angel. My own everything and I know there’s no way someone can betray me or hurt me. There are no unwanted dramas in my life.
There’s no way for someone to stop loving me, because I am here, at this moment, right now, alone but not lonely at all, I am perfectly at peace with my singleness, I love myself and I will spoil myself the best I can. I don’t need a man for that.
Well, a man would be a good addition for occasional sex and feeling of loved but I will have plenty of that in future I believe, so I’d rather enjoy these sacred moments of being able to be happy and peaceful by myself.
In my last relationship, I was with somebody who wasn't compatible with me and I was unhappy because I felt like our interaction was noise rather than music, our interaction was like an aggressive co existence and not like harmonious cooperation and mutual admiration and acts of celebration and gratitude. He was never explicitly rude but he was avoidant in showing affection and appreciation.
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Often, the focus of people in relationships tends to be a self-serving feeling of entitlement. Rather than focus on what they can bring to the relationship, they focus on what they feel they're entitled to receive from the relationship. We tend to be happier when we accept responsibility for our own happiness. We're generally disappointed when we expect others to provide our happiness. Focusing on what's within our control is more likely to result in whatever we are seeking, which is the reason single people may appear happier. People are just as likely to be lonely in a relationship as out of a relationship.
If you're in a relationship and like what you see, show appreciation for whatever your partner is doing. Appreciation motivates us to continue whatever we are doing. If we're taken for granted we lose our desire to continue whatever we are doing. Never treat anything as an entitlement or obligation.
Though I enjoy giving, when my partner just takes, without showing appreciation or reciprocating, I back off and only give what she gives. Though it is common for people to connect with opposites (ie giver and taker), two givers make for a much more satisfying relationship. Though they may be confused at the start, whether they are giving or receiving, they eventually realize what they are actually doing is sharing.
We would love to feel a special connection with someone, yet not when it complicates our life. Add to your partner's life; don't complicate it.
Well, take me for instance. I'm not fundamentally opposed to dating but I wouldn't want to do it right now in life. And I'll probably never want to get married or have kids. I don't care if I get laid or not. That stuff isn't my focus. My life is difficult enough as is. So any more things to worry about would just cause me greater levels of stress. Sure, I get lonely sometimes. But engaging with friends or occupying my mind with activities always makes that feeling go away.
u Relationships require responsibility to someone else and a loss of freedom. I suspect these are the stumbling blocks for most perpetual singles.
Yes, I have always been single and I have been happy always. Now to answer your question
Not just a few there can be many reasons for that.
1. Total lack of compatibility among the two people involved. Yes a little bit of difference will keep things interesting but too many differences means not having a common ground and that in turn means creating more openings for fights, arguments and misunderstandings. Lack of communication etc.
2. Some people simply get into relationships because they don't want to be alone or lonely. Hence they are willing to adjust and compromise to any level just to have a relationship which is a very wrong mentality and that just is way to ensure they are going to be unhappy in that relationship.
3. For people in relationships their partner should be their top priority. However, in some relationships either of the partner are not able to prioritize their partner, instead for them their career or making money and identity is more important and if one partner faces such a situation then naturally they are going to get unhappy over time.
4. Love and sex are two different things. Yes sex is a form of love but not love itself. There are many ways to show love, physical love, care and affection which are pure also. If a relationship is based only on physical needs and sex then initially it might work well but in the long run one of the partners may get unhappy over time.
5. Continuing on the same point above, if one person has normal sexual desires while the other is asexual then it is going to be a recipe for disaster. Either both partners should have normal sexual desires or they both should be asexual in the same way as the other.
If this does not happen or is not known earlier (before the relationship) then one of the partner is going to be very unhappy going forward.
Yes, so these are the points I had. I hope my points were in the context of your question.
I keep my eyes and ears open everywhere I go, though I rarely talk with people. Then there's the online aspect of people😏 WAAAAAAAY too much risk for someone looking for something genuine now, at least for me... though I know several who will freely admit it too. The reason is Western society doesn't reward being genuine. We're an incentivzed culture. If there's no incentive, we won't do it. Being real scares people here, it's punished. Being a fuckboy, Cashapp Queen, TikTok attention seeking dancer, dope dealing baby daddy, con man, Ponzi scheming fake is what gets you pats on the back here. Why would I risk MY ENTIRE LIFE... when I know the odds of me running into anyone even HALFWAY decent... are about 1 in 50 million? That's suicidal.
I tend to be happier while NOT in a relationship. One of the reasons is that I don't feel like I'm walking on eggshells. However, not all relationships are like walking on eggshells, so I'm open to getting into another relationship with the right woman.
I used to be the type who needed to always be in a relationship, thought it was the end of the world if I was alone. Until I decided to leave my husband (but had someone on the back burner for just in case). I realized I could do it on my own and could be independent and I was doing great. I was on my own for 2 years, thought I was ready for another serious relationship but quickly realized I kinda enjoyed being single better bc I had more $(yes he works), do what I want when I want, don't have to entertain anyone, if I don't feel like cooking or doing laundry I dont have to, I can lay around and be lazy and look like a mess of that's what I feel like doing. Ughhh there's pros and cons. He takes the trash out and cleans dog shit but hell, I can make my kids do that 🤷🏼♀️
Because:
1. Ultimately, happiness and peace of mind has to come from our OWN selves. No body else really. What happens if your partner dies unexpectedly or becomes sick or disabled permanently? !
2. They're with the wrong person. Compatibility issues.
After each relationship I take a break from relationships for about half a year to two years depending on the relationship. Dating is exhausting for me and I am happier being single.
There less of these things:
- Overthinking
- Hurtbreak or just hurting people
- Drama/Arguments
- Unavailable time to be alone
- Being committed
I'm willing to date someone right now, but I am in no rush, lmao. I can focus on my career and not worry about a relationship being single.
They can go out if they want and don't need to ask. Planning is easier. No stress if you leave your pants on the floor. No discussion what to eat. No events with family of your partner if you want to go out with friends the same day or on days like Christmas
I only felt that way when I was out of a toxic relationship. I was very happy on my previous relationship and I'm very happy in my current relationship.
I am quite happy in not being in one and am happier for it. The reality is you have demands made upon and somebodies else's demands, mood and attitude put upon you.
It would be beyond belief that we would enter one if it wasn't for sex and often there turns out to not be much of that.
You'd be amazed how many people have never had a positive relationship with the a member of the opposite sex in their life.
If you've never seen how fulfilling and wonderful those interactions can be, it's not hard to imagine someone getting to a point in life where they're too exhausted from dealing with that gender to even try any more.
I think, like sex, “relationships” are put on a pedestal. I would say being with someone you like is something we all strive for. And when dumped or in a romantic rut, “relationships” are shit on. It’s ok. Just don’t lose sight of the goal. Finding people you like in this world.
There are some benefits to not being in one such as not having to worry about being stressed from being in an argument and you don’t have to worry about stuff that you have on your phone or in your place and can pretty much go and do whatever you want
Because.
I don’t like people. I don’t like needing someone and I don’t like them needing me. It’s exhausting being spoken to and relied on. I don’t like sharing bills because then there’s no guarantee they’ll be paid. I don’t want unexpected personality explosions at any given time.
i'm not in a relationship with anyone but my life is a livinh hell due to some demonic pips following me
The biggest advantage of being single is the freedom. Freedom to do what one wants, when one wants, with whom one wants, and spending his/her money as he/she sees fit.
i'm assuming they have a lot more free time, can do whatever they want, don't have to spend as much money, etc...
Those people have nothing to offer in a relationship, so they choose to stay lonely. They are defeatists, basically.
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