Am I wrong to be upset about my girlfriend wanting to start an Onlyfans account?

[Anonymous]

Me and my girlfriend have been dating since middle school and we have both just turned 18. We both work regular day jobs and everything seemed fine but yesterday when we were hanging out at her house she said to me that she wants to make money online by selling nude/fetish photos to guys on the internet. It shocked me since she has never even hinted at wanting to do this before and she suddenly seems to think that she can just stop working and make buckets of money doing that instead.

I am actually quite shocked and upset by this. I'm not religious or anything but I personally just prefer not dating a sex worker and be in a monogamous relationship where we both have other ambitions and goals other then just make money. Am I wrong for feeling this way? It's the first time since we met where I have genuinely considered ending the relationship because I don't want to stop her from doing what she wants to do but I also don't want to be in a relationship with a sex worker.

[ZackBan]

"Listen to me babe: if another man ever saw you naked. You will never see ME naked ever again" *hold her face and kiss her forehead* "I love you" (all said with a straight face and a calm voice)

That's my suggestion on what you do about this.

It could be she's doing this to test your masculinity and see just how protective of her you are.

Or maybe she genuinely wants to do this

Either way a real man sets boundaries that's the lesson here.
There's no shame in fact it's seen as a quality to be able to say "this is something I'm not ok with and if you do it we're done"
Just make sure it doesn't come out like you're crying and complaining

[Losalt]

Don't end it.
She was expressing herself to you instead of just doing it because she wanted to communicate with you.
Now let her know about how you feel about this.

The idea that there's anything wrong with being a sex worker *is* wrong in my view.
If someone has been a sex worker is outkof their control.
But it's *not* wrong to feel uncomfortable with her doing that and to ask her to respect your feelings about this.

[Asker]

I get that there isn't something inherently wrong about being a sex worker, I don't really care if people do it but I wouldn't want to date or marry someone that does it. Just how I feel.

I don't think I will end it over her mentioning it but I do feel very differently about her since because it makes me feel like she isn't the person I thought she was.

I know that she was just expressing what she wants but at the same time, we've known each other and dated for so long that I thought it's pretty well known how we felt about relationships and sex. It almost felt like she just saw someone on social media making money from doing it and she thinks that's what would happen for her to?

[Losalt]

Not wanting someone to be a sex worker *while* in a relationship with you is fine.
But it's really a shame that you don't feel comfortable with dating a former one...

But in this case she's neither.

And you can express your own feelings, so it won't happen.

I get that unexpected behaviour makes you feel like you don't know her.
But you can never truly know someone.
Humans are extremely complex beings, and reducing them to that simplified model that we imagine them to be and thinking and acting like that model is correct isn't a good idea in my view.
She and any other woman out there is complex beings, they all have thoughts and feelings you've never imagined.
Depths you'll never know about, and on top of that people change over time.
As Heraclitus said, a man can never bath in the same river twice, because it's not the same river, and he's not the same man.

Anyway, I think that you two will work things out.
But try to love *her* instead of a simplified concept in your mind of who she is.
And with that, I mean love her as a dynamic being that won't always be what you expect, that *will* surprise you.
Do things that you don't expect and perhaps even hurt you occasionally.
She's no less the woman you fell in love with just because you didn't realize that aspect of her up front.

Does, that make sense?

[Samantha36]

No. I asked my boyfriend if he would mind and he said he would leave me with no questions asked. So I didn't and have never reconsidered it.

[sheikalana]

No, you are actually right. She must be out of her mind.

[Unit1]

Why would it be wrong?

How can you know she is with you for love or whether you are just another one of her future paid subscribers?

And besides that, it doesn't feel like you have partner, that's committed to you while she does OnlyFans.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

It's a hard red line. You shouldn't stay if she does.

[Anonymous]

Tell her how you feel and see what she says.

[MementoMori777]

Nope I understand that, that's gotta suck no lie

[Dipper228]

If u trust her then no