What are the meanings of marriage? Why are some couples together for 10, 15+ years without marrying?

[Anonymous]

What are the meanings of a marriage to you? If you're married, do you think of it the same as way you did before marrying?

Why are some couples together for many years (10+, 15+) years without marrying?

Do you think it would make sense to want a marriage, but not building a family / having kids? Meaning do you think there's a point in marriage if a couple doesn't want to have kids?

[richardcory]

We've been married > 30 years. Marriage didn't really change anything for us, just a sort of formal public statement that we intended our relationship to be permanent.

[Asker]

I commend you for being married for over 30 years and starting when you were in your 20's

[FunkyMonkee]

The biggest reason I stayed with my future ex-fiance was the hope that she'd eventually change her mind about us. By the time she stopped fucking me, we'd already spent nearly 5 years together!

[Asker]

I'm sorry you had that experience. I was in a relationship of 5+ years when my ex-boyfriend "realized" (after wasting 5 years of my time) that he did have plans for the future of our relationship, and was unsure if he would ever want to be married, and when, if so.

That's why I asked this question. I could not understand why and how the potential for marriage should break a relationship if most of the things would remain the same except the legality of marriage. I do not plan to have kids and had expressed that to him, so I don't see how marriage would or should change his "freedom" - as he said.

[FunkyMonkee]

She wasted 10 years of my life! And I had at least two other offers!!
sorry to hear about your troubles. I'd say, let's get together but, I WANT kids.

[Asker]

Oh, 10 years... I thought you said you were with your ex for 5 years. I think 5 years are long enough to spend someone's time, not to mention 10 years...

[FunkyMonkee]

We were together for 10 but it was just after the 5th year that she started to pull away from me but let me hang on and hope for another 5! In the meantime, she started cheating on me during the last 3 or 4 years we were together.
Lots of sex for the first 3.5 years, then nothing for half a year, then nothing for a full year, then nothing ever!! I suppose, when she started telling me that my holding her hand in public, kissing her in public and putting my arm around her in public showed ownership, I should've just left her then and there!!
I can't hold your hand, kiss you, put my arm around you or fuck you? Okay, G'BYE!!
But, I had hope that she'd eventually get off that kick and we'd get back together like we were!

[Asker]

@FunkyMonkee I'm sorry that you had gone through this experience.

[FunkyMonkee]

Thanks!! Sorry about what you had to go through, too.

[slatyb]

It means whatever the couple wants it to mean. Nothing much changed for my wife and me, but she felt more secure in the relationship.

[LiamJHayden]

To me marriage is a lifelong commitment. Since the courts and much of society do not see it that way, I will avoid it.

[jahaims]

My wife and I got married for legal reasons. Just makes doing a lot of things less of a hassle.

[Anonymous]

Fear of commitment, lack of family morals etc.