My boyfriend is nosey?

[Anonymous]

I'm 22F & my boyfriend is 21M and he keeps asking me to see my passwords, etc. I keep saying no because I'm paranoid and it's a privacy issue (he knows I don't hide anything except passwords) and he gets upset and says I'm hiding stuff from him then by not letting him see my password + he says I don't trust him. It's like, annoying. You're my boyfriend, not my Husband, why does he feel entitled to see my passwords? Yeah, I love and trust him - but passwords are a privacy concern and I have boundaries set for a reason.
Would you let your significant other know your passwords? how do I solve this issue and why is he doing this? It annoys me.

[WaterIsland]

I’d only share passwords if I was married. And only in cases where it makes life easier. For example I don’t see any point in sharing email passwords. But financial passwords to pay bills. I can possibly foresee sharing that. It all depends on the situation.


But you’re right that it’s a privacy issue. And also a security one. He has absolutely zero right to demand that or expect that from you.


Not all controlling behavior leads to violent behavior. But there are definitely times when it can. Remember a partner is supposed to be your partner. Not your property. And that level of controlling behavior on his part, is approaching that line.


The reality is in any healthy relationship you have to trust the other person until they give you a reason not to. Either he trusts you or not. And if you’ve done nothing to lose his trust, the odds of him ever trusting you are very slim.

[slatyb]

This is a fundamental disagreement. If a girlfriend repeatedly asked her that, she wouldn't be my girlfriend. I wouldn't stay with someone who didn't trust me. Generally people who are untrusting are untrustworthy.

[sheikalana]

This is controlling behavior. Even if you were married you're still entitled to your own privacy. I never asked my husband's passwords and vice versa. My mom and dad have been married for over 30 years and they don't know each other's passwords and don't sneak into each other's phones. He's the one who doesn't seem to trust you. Did he ever give you his passwords? Probably not so why would you have to share your passwords with him? I smell a huge red flag here.

[Anonymous]

Seems like he’s projecting onto you, maybe he’s the one who has something to hide.

[Billlewis]

He probably realizes how attractive you are, and he's nervous about some other guy taking your place in her life.

[Anonymous]

Red Flag Alert. He's trying to control you.