How do you feel about a 22 year old & 50 year old age gap?

[Anonymous]

i’ve known my friend for years & she’s 22, dating a 50 yr old & her friends told her how we felt respectfully & how that’s wrong & she said thanks for looking out but she trust him. I’ve met him twice & he’s seems nice & she’s met his kids & stuff.
- he’s just now moving from an apartment & renting a disgusting house that she’s moving in to w/ him. (like if you’re having guest over at least clean & not have dead roaches lying around & such.)
- Our whole group is young so it’s look odd when you see a 6ft guy that looks like a dad & a body guard talking & around you.
- he doesn’t even want more kids & she’s wants 3
I can't support this so I won't be going anywhere or i’ll keep my distance if he’s there & i’m going to tell her. Like what can you offer him & when your 30 he’ll be like 60 or 70. It’s like he groomed her and knew all the right things to say.

Updates

7 mo

I want to see what everyone thought & im glad most people agree even though she’s not a minor it should be illegal to mess with someone with a huge age gap. We talked about this finally & she understands completely. it’s her life so i dont care but i’m glad she said this might be a short term thing so i don’t know what her plans are & she shouldn’t be with an old grandpa later on in life lol…

[ohsheeT]

One of the best things in life is when we are born we are all given a gift that gift is choice we get to choose who we want to be by the things that we say and do

I understand exactly where you're coming from she's your friend you care you might see things that she does not see

And right now just because it's not your choice doesn't mean that it's not her choice

She sees life in a different way than you do

Life is an experience
Everybody's life experience is different
There are some things in life that we want to explore and experience

There's something good that she feels when she's with this guy it doesn't mean that she's going to be with him forever

But just like every single one of us when we first started to learn how to walk we would fall down we would get back up we would try it again we would fall down we would get back up and we will try it again

This is a moment in time this is her moment in time and his moment In Time.

If they both want that they both need maybe to experience and to move on nobody knows except for them

So think a little bit past of what you think and who you are and what you like and what you don't like and if you're a true friend you would love her unconditionally and you support her

Because if you weigh it all out you know that they're not going to be together forever it's just something that they both want at this moment and In This moment it's working for them it will work for them until it won't and then she will leave

And then she will find somebody else that's probably younger but everything that she learned

She will carry that with her older men treat women a lot better than younger men do she's going to experience something and she's going to want to find that any younger guy one day

The other thing is is when you start talking about somebody that you don't know how the guys grooming her that's just totally wrong you don't know that for a fact and I think that's pretty rude that you even said it you've tried everything possible in your post to make the guy look bad because it's just something you don't like and I think that's totally wrong

So just because you don't like something it's really none of your business it's cool that you are a good friend and you care about her but if you were that good of a friend you would also know that the odds of it lasting her lifetime is just not there let her experience what she wants to experience that her game the knowledge that she's going to gain if she gets a broken heart it will be mended we get right back up and we start all over again love her unconditionally and be her friend

[Asker]

Yeah i am i just won’t support it she can do whatever lol she just won’t tell me anything about them we talked about it

[AviatorTom]

It's their life... you shouldn't try to impose your ideas on them.

My father was in his 50s when he married my mother, who was in her mid-20s. They had two kids (my sister and me) and a long happy 40-year marriage that ended only when he passed away.

[Jkgordon]

I’m not imposing ideas it’s just reality unless it’s 30 & 50 not too bad but 20 yuck but good for your family it worked out

[nastyb]

back then , big age gaps were common because women typically had no way to survive on her own and married any financially stable man to start a family with. These marriages typically weren't made of love but just all about security

[Siochfhradha]

You are incapable of reading the entire post wherein the poster says that her friend is living in a cockroach invested house. Only a moron would think this acceptable.

[nastyb]

@Siochfhradha

I wouldn't label it as acceptable or unacceptable. She can do whatever because its her life. If she chose to associate herself with the wrong men then thats her problem. Its probably not a good relationship. Thats probably not a decent guy. She might have mental issues. The relationship or marriage likely won't last.

But people are allowed to make bad decisions in life.

[Asker]

i’m
not controlling her i’m just not supporting in so the people that keep saying decisions thing please stop 😂.

[AviatorTom]

Asker... So you don't support your friend? Is she really your friend then? Maybe you should post a question "When is it okay to not support your friend?" and see what kinds of response you get.

[Asker]

support my friends bad decision which involves her being with a grandma while she’s young & living in a roach infested house that wasn’t clean when he had guest over. yeah no. did you even read what i said lol like you’re on my list of people i’m not responding to. you’re probably a pedophile.

[Asker]

grandpa*

[Ozanne]

First of all the fact that one does not want kids and the other does is a relationship asking for problems, no matter what the age difference is.

The fact is these are two people at two very different points of their lives. Attraction is one thing, but seriously thinking about a future, especially when planning a family is in play is not sensible in this situation.

Her wanting children from a 50 year old, means that even if they married and immediately got pregnant today, he'd be nearly 70 by the time the child graduates from highschool. She'd have no choice but to expect that he can only be a father for so long to her three children. That's not exactly fair to the three possible kids.

Once they straighten that problem out, there is still the issue of having actual life experiences in common. They can certainly enjoy the same movies, music, and hobbies. But they will each be so far off base when it comes to everything else.

Also, new relationships are generally very dewy, with the honeymoon phase eclipsing all the potential issues that can happen. They'll be attracted, have good sex, and say and do all the things that seem perfect. But in time, this is really hard to say.

I'm not ruling it out, but in my experience as being a younger person who once dated much older men, and now as an older woman with men-friends who are dating much younger women, I can tell you they almost never work out. Not to say it can't, but it likely won't.

[Paulalove98]

I think more than 20 years is just way way too much. 15 years or less is more doable even 10 but 20 years? That’s a way hell of a lot and I get it she’s an adult and over 20 as well but yes he’s old enough to be her grandpa which to me is gross. I’d never date a guy that old. My partner is 18 and I’ll be 25, but it’s not like I met him at 35, I’m still in my 20s and we’re only 7 years apart which isn’t much to catch up to.

[Avicenna]

One of the whole points of being an adult is that you make decisions for yourself. She's an adult, she'll figure out on her own what to do. There's no need to legislate something as ridiculous as banning adults from dating each other.

Someone being your age does not automatically make them a suitable partner or one for the long term for that matter.

[Summeroflove]

They’re adults. Here is the thing. Just because it’s not what you’re looking for doesn’t mean someone else is bad for it. I say unless you feel she’s in danger. Live your life and find who makes you happy.


It’s her life and his. Either things will work out between them or it won’t. Again. That’s between them.

[Apple1996]

Not gonna work out long term. He will he dead by the time she's 30-40. She'll have to date again either way. Might as well stay single and find a man closer in age to spend a long life with

[Asker]

exactly it’s like she’s wasting her life. Like be patient & just focus on you in the meantime.

[Apple1996]

At her age she could do so much better then this random grandpa

[BLP11520]

Being my age if I were single again how old should I look for? I am 63, but a young 63

[zeitgeist057]

too bad it''s impossible to live past 70 lol

[zeitgeist057]

@BLP11520 if you want to listen to the mainstream mob, then use the formula: 1/2 your age +7 is your youngest possible parter. (and for oldest possible 1/2 their age + 7 can't be less than your age.)

[Apple1996]

@zeitgeist057 by 70 a person is basically dead. Really like 50 in my opinion tho...

[zeitgeist057]

I wouldn't be concerned about the gap, I'm more concerned with "case by case basis" when it comes to relationships. You can have two people the exact same age and it's a bad relationship. Having an age gap doesn't make it automatically bad (or good).

I'm 46 and my girlfriend is 23. We are both really happy and excited about each other, and she has told me many times how glad and luck she feels that she gave it a chance, because at first she did have some qualms about dating someone with a large gap. Thankfully for us, we have good friends and family who are supportive instead of acting immature and trying to sabotage/undermine us. Of course, that's also partly on us, because people like that don't have a place in our lives.

[Siochfhradha]

@zeitgeist057 - No wonder your girlfriend likes you, you're her age mentally. Immature, rude & ignorant. You are, after all, incapable of reading the entire post wherein the poster says that her friend is living in a cockroach invested house. Only a moron would think this acceptable.

[zeitgeist057]

@Siochfhradha thank you for demonstrating maturity and such pleasant manners. /s

Are you incapable of reading comprehension yourself? A "disgusting house" has nothing to do with age.

[BlackBeauty90]

@zeitgeist057 - a disgusting house has everything to do with age. It shows that the man has mental health issues and can't possibly hold a proper relationship. As the poster said to someone else the 22 year old was sexually abused and thus she has a warped concept of relations anyway.

[BlackBeauty90]

@zeitgeist057 - by the way do you think living in a cockroach invested house at ANY age is acceptable?

[zeitgeist057]

@BlackBeauty90 Again, no. Tacking on "mental health issues" doesn't improve the illogical argument. Mental health issues are ANOTHER factor that affects people of ALL ages.

An 18 year old can live in a disgusting house. You can observe this with some college students in their dorm rooms or first house, typically shared. I would actually venture to say the most unhygenic living conditions I've seen were exhibited by people in the age ranges of 17-22. It's an age for many when they are out on their own yet but it hasn't sunk in yet that mommy isn't around to do all the cleaning and that it needs to be done.

People in their 20s or 30s can and do live in squalor. Typically those who are impoverished or who have addiction issues, but for some it's just laziness.

As we go up in ages, it's the same only typically it's more of a pattern they've set for life at this point. For the extremely elderly or disabled, it is new, as they lose ability to perform cleaning tasks due to pain such as arthritic pain, or other conditions like fatigue, injury, or other conditions that impact mobility or physical exertion. A healthy person, though, will be in their final years before death before it gets that bad. Everyone in my family was still cleaning and cooking, bathing themselves, and independent up until the last 3-6 years before death (in 80s and 90s). Hopefully at that point, they have someone around that can help them clean themselves and their environment to make up for any self-care deficit.

To answer your question, (which shows that you understand that age has nothing to do with living environment, by the admission that one can live "in a cockroach infested house at ANY age"):
Of course not. Pests like roaches are not healthy and increases your risk of disease.

[BlackBeauty90]

@zeitgeist057 - I find it comical you ignore the obvious issue. Mental health. Nobody in their right mind lives with pests if they can avoid it. And the poster said that the slob bought the house. The poster said elsewhere that the girl had been sexually molested as a child which is the ONLY reason why she is attracted to this person. A warped interest that had she not been sexually molested wouldn't exist.

[zeitgeist057]

@BlackBeauty90 I'm just staying on topic instead of going on tangents. You're derailing in order to distract from your erroneous statements, and the simple fact that remains: a filthy living environment isn't directly correlated to an age gap in a relationship.

Now you're going off about some previous sexual assault. Which could influence her decision making in future relationships, but she could just as easily find an unhealthy relationship with someone her own age. Or a healthy one. With someone her own age. Or younger. Or older.

[BlackBeauty90]

@zeitgeist057 a filthy living area IS directly correlated with development or mental Health issues. Anyone in medical care would be laughing 😃 at your pathetic defense 🙄 of what is a sick and twisted relationship

[zeitgeist057]

@BlackBeauty90 I'm glad to see you finally removed age from your equation, and by doing so admitted that it has no relevance.

"filthy living area = developmental/mental health issues" <-- no mention of age. You've combined your two red herrings and correlated them to each other, eliminating the original topic of discussion entirely. But still having the issue of going on irrelevant tangents. Ah well, Rome wasn't built in a day.

[Anonymous]

Lol love how older men are consider to be grooming younger women. Like she’s not an adult herself. Honestly it’s none of your business. Whether you like it or not that is her choice to make. Maybe many of you are single so you’re not happy w the fact that she’s w someone. Women don’t like to see others happy, especially when it comes to men. Women are so fake when it comes to friendships. You say you support each other, feminism, to allow women to have the freedom to make their own choices but when it comes to something like this it’s wrong. She’s wrong. Something’s wrong w her. Even if it doesn’t work out, she’s happy, leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

I fully understand how awkward or weird it might feel to be hanging out with a bunch of young ladies and one old man. I fully support you not partaking in social events that he'll be at if it discomforts you.

But while I fully support and encourage your right to express your views, no matter what they are, I have to say that I find it incredibly creepy, controlling, and authoritarian that you wish it to be illegal for your friend to date a man much older than her.

You should express your opinion in case it could influence her decision, but you should NOT want to control her or the actions of others. That is immoral.

[nastyb]

there's something wrong. Likely she has some sort of mental/ daddy issues while he is just looking for a hot young body to hook up with. I don't believe that that relationship is made up of genuine love.

And as for marriage? she might find herself looking for a new husband once she finds herself being a nurse to her senior citizen husband. It won't be fun.

[Anonymous]

She's wasting her youth years on an old creep because of whatever mental issues she has going on, or maybe she's that desperate for money that he can provide. Either way she's going to regret it when she gets her shit together and realize what she's doing or when he gets too old and she ends up being a caretaker. She also will have to date again in a time where men are proudly saying they only want to date girls who are still children and up to 30 max. I would try to talk some sense into her

[menina]

I understand why you're not okay with this. I also get why you talked to her because this is uncommon and for some people it's wrong.

I honestly don't see what a 22 year old has in common with a 50 year old, but to each their own. She might start thinking about the disavantages of being with him and break up. I sense that she will end up dating someone her age.

Either way, I hope she doesn't get hurt.

[OfMiceandMen]

I know I couldn't do it. It would be totally weird when my daughter's home and they'd be practically the same age.

It would even be awkward/strange to introduce her to my friends because you know what everyone is thinking as soon as they meet her. You get the SCORE!! look from some of your older buddies, but their wives/gfs would look at you with daggers.

[nastyb]

i would think he's just in it for the sex and the tight young pussy. I don't see what a 50 yr old would have in common with a 22 yr old especially in terms of maturity, life. how are they going to be able to relate at all?

[OfMiceandMen]

@nastyb I agree, it would be more about the sex for him and likely either some sugar daddy stuff for her and/or someone mature and reliable/faithful.

[provokeesmokee]

Deeply uncomfortable.

You're right, she's making a mistake and has been groomed. Unfortunately she's not a minor, so there's little that can be done if she's not willing to see it for herself.

Dead roaches is a major red flag.

[Anonymous]

i think it's weird.

so you're telling me a 50 year old dude doesn't know how to clean or keep his house clean? let alone having BUGS around. red flag #1. i don't even want to keep going because everything is just bad lol

she'll look back and realize how dumb she was once this is over, but by the time this is over she likely won't have any more friends left

[HelpfulWoman]

Ewww. When you're young enough to be his child, that should tell you everything. 😂

[exitseven]

I know they are both adults but it is creepy. This guy is not rich so I do not see the upside to this.

[Kykiono1]

They satisfy each other

[Finchie40]

If she is happy that’s all that matters , a real friend would support her happiness not try to end it

[nastyb]

sometimes what makes you "happy" isn't what is the best for you. Might be a manipulative guy. She might he into him due to mental issues / daddy issues. Therapy is the answer. Not being attached to someone who doesn't have the best intentions.

[Finchie40]

You can give a friend advice but you should never try to get involved in their relationship, just because you don’t agree with something it doesn’t mean they are thinking the same , Most friends can be toxic toward relationships without realizing it so to be a better friend it’s best to support your friend in their relationship instead of being negative toward it , How would you feel if a friend was bashing your relationship? They probably wouldn’t be a friend for much longer if you are happy in your relationship

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

i don't know what makes you think a 50 yr old going after a 22 yr old that he has nothing in common with, is a man with good intentions.

it sounds straight up creepy and perverted to any reasonable minded adult.

and the only reason why you would support it is if you are also this type of creepy old man.

[Finchie40]

I see nothing wrong with it, age really means shit when it comes to chemistry and connection , if they are both happy , that’s all that matters I have dated younger and older girls that had great chemistry and connection with me , her age meant nothing , if she was under legal age of consent then I draw the line there , but other than that her age means nothing to me if her and I have great chemistry and connection and attraction so you are best to not be judge mental when it comes to other people’s relationship, you can give advice but you shouldn’t interfere in someone else’s relationship, How would you feel if friends were judging you on who you fall for? You would clearly not consider them a friend if they were bashing who you chose to be with

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

95% of the time, there is no chemistry to such relationships.

the chemistry and connection you are talking about comprises about 5% of these relationships.

quit talking about chemistry and connection and admit you're just a huge pervert.

[nastyb]

95% of the time, it is a mentally unstable / damaged girl who doesn't know what she is doing. And a perverted old man who is just looking for some young tight pussy.

and plus... the young girl says she wants 3 children but the old man doesn't want any.

clearly, its proof that the girl is too young and immature to know what she is doing.

[Finchie40]

It’s not like he forced her to be with him , if he forced her than that would be a different story but they both clearly chose each other whether you agree or disagree with her choice , it’s not your problem , as a friend you can give advice but you can not make side with you over him , you are clearly wasting your time and energy on something that isn’t your problem , Whether she is mentally unstable etc. That’s not your problem , that’s something she will figure out on her own

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

what you just said is kinda like saying:

if she chose to get addicted to illegal drugs... then , I , as a friend should support that? because thats her decision?

this statement alone proves you don't give two shits about this young girl's well being. you're just as much of a sexual predator as the old man in this question.

[Finchie40]

Face it , you can’t force someone to do what you want them to do , if they are a drug addict you can try to help them and give them advice but you can’t change anything , that’s their problem not
Yours. Everyone makes their own decisions in life , whether you agree or disagree with their decision, it’s not
Your problem , it’s not your choice , you can sugarcoat this all you want but it’s not going to change anything , you can tell her she is wrong until you are blue in the face she is still going to make her decision whether you like it or not , Life is your decade , no one else’s

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

someone who cares will try to do their best to coax their friend in the right direction in life.

someone who doesn't care will let their friend to make a bad decision and never ever try to save their friend.

this is especially true for a sexual predator.

[Finchie40]

Again , you can give advice all you want to a friend but they will still make their own choice and decision , if she wants to be with this guy then she will be with that guy no matter what you say to her , it’s not your life and not Your relationship, if she is happy that’s all
That should matter to you , just because you think this 50 year old guy is a predator doesn’t mean shit , , it does t sound like he is harming her in any way , if he was forcing her to do anything against her will then yes put a stop to it as much as possible but it does t sound like he is doing that to her , she is going into his arms the same way he wants her in his arms so again stay out of it , it’s not your relationship

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

there is 95% this guy is a sexual predator. And you know it.

Just because a girl is making the wrong decision in life, it doesn't mean everyone around her needs to support it.

[Finchie40]

Why are you assuming he is a sexual predator? Does he have a record? Is he forcing her?

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

do you think the vast majority of 50 yr olds are even able to relate to 22 yr olds in any type of way?

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

she wants kids while he doesn't want anymore kids. yet he doesn't do the right thing by letting her find another man who will provide her kids... she can't let go. Most likely due to attachment issues.

I sense there's something very wrong about the relationship.

[Finchie40]

Well that’s something she has to choose to do on her own , she clearly likes him and wants to be with him so just let it go , their is nothing you can do about it , she is going to make her own decision and choice

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

it sounds more like an unhealthy attachment due to mental issues or emotional needs. And we can see that because a lot of her other life goals / desires don't seem to be considered in this unhealthy attachment.

just because someone is with you, it doesn't mean its a healthy attachment / relationship.

[ their is nothing you can do about it , she is going to make her own decision and choice]

there is definitely something we can do about it. you just don't want to do anything about it cuz you're a sexual predator who encourages these types of weird relationships

[Finchie40]

No I am just not judge mental and a hypocrite to someone else’s relationship, if a friend was crying for help I would help them but I am not just going to assume they need help , she isn’t a child , she is clearly an adult , so she makes her own choices in life , if she wasn’t happy with this guy she wouldn’t be with him period , so again there is nothing you can do but give her advice , just be careful of the advice you give because sadly it can backfire and she will no longer be your friend

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

and its disgusting how some people like you pretend that plenty of 50 yr olds would have so much in common with a young kid like her. I'm pretty sure they have nothing in common and are completely unable to relate to each other. and thats what makes it so disgusting.

and no, its not judgmental at all. just the truth. nothing but the truth.

95% of the time. this is what is

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

yea... you keep repeating that she is an adult... she is an adult... she is an adult.

being an adult is your excuse on getting away with being a sexual predator.

manipulating emotionally vulnerable needy young girls as a way for you to get sex.

i guess its a legal way for you to bag a young prostitute for free.

[nastyb]

her being an adult... does not mean her family and friends should not care about her well being.
her dating a man that she has absolutely nothing in common with and unable to relate to.

[Finchie40]

You can care all you want, but she is still going to make her decision and choice , she apparently likes the guy if she is with him and having sex with him and talking to him and going out with him and it’s mutual and they are happy that’s all that matters , so you can say all you want , but it isn’t going to stop her from seeing him , if she chooses to see him, you can’t stop her you don’t have to like her decision what so ever , but you can’t stop it , and I love how you keep calling me a sexual predator, I been with girls older than me , so are those girls sexual predators also? Those girls’ didn’t force me to do anything , it was mutual consent , so you need to get that sexual predator shit out of your head , A aexual predator is someone forcing someone to do something without their consent , Age means absolutely nothing when it comes to liking someone or being attracted to someone , unless they are under legal age of consent than that’s a different story , but other than that it means SHIT!! I don’t go up to a beautiful girl that catches my eye and say How old are you? That would be silly as shit , if her and I have a great conversation and we are both attracted to each other and she wants me like I want her that’s all that matters , if the topic of age comes up later in the conversation and I find out we have a gap in age , that isn’t going to automatically make myself hate her all of a sudden , I am still going to want to see her and talk to her more , so that’s why I don’t hold age as a deciding factor , I dated younger girls that were more mature than girls my age so that shit doesn’t bother me and I don’t give a fuck what other people think or say when I am involved with someone , it’s her and I BS this judge-mental world where people need to mind their own fucking business and stop trying to rub their 2 cents into something that isn’t their problem. The only way you should step in is if your friend is being physically abused and forced to do

[Finchie40]

Anything against her will

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

i didn't read your fucking bullshit.

Not once did you show ANY CONCERN for this girl's well being.

Not once did you acknowledge that this old man may very well have absolutely nothing in common with her.

All you did was to insist that she SHOULD WALK INTO A TRAP because its her choice.

clearly you don't give two shits about her...

[Finchie40]

You’re right I don’t give 2 shits about her , because I don’t even know her , Do you have a crush on this girl? It’s kind of weird to me that you are this concerned over your girl friend? Almost like
You are jealous of her decision , , she is clearly happy with this guy or she wouldn’t be with him to begin with, Just because you don’t like the age Gap , it doesn’t mean she doesn’t , you are wasting your time and energy by trying to make her choose you over him , the only way you should interfere in her relationship , is if she is being physically beaten and controlled by him , if he is forcing her to be with him and threatening her , then you should step in and save her and call the cops on his ass , but if their is no forcing at all , then you need to stay out of it period , it isn’t your problem , you are making it your problem for whatever reason , you can’t tell anyone who they can like and dislike , I have friends that are in relationships with girls’ that I feel they deserve way better , but I keep my mouth shut because it isn’t my relationship what so ever , if my friend came to me for advice over his girlfriend , I would give them my honest advice but I wouldn’t expect them to do what I say , it’s their life and , their choice , one thing I learned in life is to stay the fuck out of other people’s relationships, unless you clearly see them being physically abused and treated like pure shit then yes you can step in as a friend , but from what you been saying , it doesn’t sound like this guy is hurting her in any way , just because he doesn’t want kids , doesn’t make him a piece of shit , if your girlfriend really wants kids , then she can make the decision to leave his ass and find someone that wants kids with her. It’s her decision on what she wants to do , again you can give her advice but you can not force her to do what you
You want her to do , you will become an asshole to her if you keep trying to interfere

[Finchie40]

Attraction is a powerful thing , How would you feel if you were attracted to someone and a friend of yours is trying their best to interfere in your decision , and telling you who you can like and dislike? You would clearly tell that friend to back off unless your friend clearly had proof that the person you are attracted to was a piece of shit , but without proof your friend’s advice means nothing. , Friends that try to interfere in your relationships are not friends , they are TOXIC friends , You are a toxic friend to this girl unless you have solid proof that this guy is a piece of shit , but if your friend is smiling and she is happy with him, then you need to back the Dick off and worry about yourself

[Asker]

first of all we’re friends so she willingly told me everything & saw that horribly roach infested house with my own eyes. This guy isn’t the best for her not only because of his age but because he clearly doesn’t have his priorities right for his age and i told her ill support her for anything else but i can't agree with this & act like i support this and be fake i’m not a fake friend to be all up in their face & then not go to her wedding because i wouldn’t go. this along with other things jf she got herself involved with i wouldn’t support but she knows i would still be friends with her & support other things. News flash im not her mommy okay so cut it out you’re wrong about everything to me and this lady.

[Finchie40]

Ok that makes sense now , if she is asking you for advice then as a friend you give her advice , that’s all you can do , but understand you can not force her to choose your advice , all you can do as a friend is be their for her with open arms , I don’t know what she told you about this guy but if it’s all bad and negative she needs to make her decision of leaving his ass if she clearly isn’t happy with hi. , Why she keeps going back to him is something you can’t stop , you can give her advice on how to stop going back to him, but she is going to have to make that final decision on her own , unless he is threatening her and forcing her to stay with him and physically hurting her and forcing her against her will, then you as a friend , should call the cops and report that he is threatening her and manipulating her and tell her to file a restraining order on his ass if that is the case , but if it isn’t the case , I’m sorry to say you can’t do shit , it’s got to be her choice her decision . If she keeps running back to this guy after you given her advice and she doesn’t listen to your advice , the best thing for you to do is to just keep your mouth shut and when shit does finally hit the fan between her and this guy and she comes running to you crying , All you should say is I told you so , that’s all you can really do as a friend. Most people
Make dumb decisions when they get involved with someone that treats them like shit , and as a friend you can give your friend advice that you feel that they are with the wrong person and it’s probably best for you to leave them , but if they don’t want to leave them then sadly there is really nothing you can do but just stand back and wait for all this shit to unfold. If she doesn’t want to take your advice that’s her problem not
Yours

[nastyb]

@Finchie40

you can very well be attracted to someone who is immoral and doesn't have your best intentions. All you want to talk about is attraction, legal age... blah blah blah... have you ever considered the fact that this guy could very well be with her for the WRONG REASONS?

[Friends that try to interfere in your relationships are not friends , they are TOXIC friends , ]

its the fact that you very well know there is a much bigger chance this guy has nothing in common with her than the chances of him having anything in common with her. but you've showed absolutely no acknowledgement to this- which is indicates that you dont have her best intentions in mind.

[nastyb]

@Asker

he's likely a sexual predator preying on someone young, emotionally vulnerable, needy, naive, inexperienced. She likely has some sort of emotional issues/ void in her life and is too attached to him to be able to leave.

even if they get married, its highly unlikely a marriage like that would last forever.

once she gets to her 40s, she will start looking for a new husband.

[Asker]

Right, he literally doesn’t have one thing in common with her. He just doesn’t want to be alone. This guy just wants to seem right but doesn’t even know the older guy so stop defending so hard..

[nastyb]

@Asker

Yea... just let her do whatever she wants and let her suffer the consequences of it later.

I can promise you the likelihood of such a marriage lasting is so slim. Once she hits her 40s, her options for a new husband won't be very high meanwhile she's stuck in a marriage with a man she's not attracted to and can't keep up with her in any sort of way. It will eventually become a nurse and senior citizen type of relationship

[Finchie40]

Exactly. Let her suffer the consequences of her own actions , she more than likely will eventually leave this guy when she realizes he isn’t giving her what she wants , but if she doesn’t leave him than , that’s her problem. I know it’s easy to assume the worst case scenario and we can easily assume we know what’s best for someone else especially a friend , but the bottom line is that person has to make that final decision on their own , unless he is hurting her and forcing her and threatening her to be with him , than that’s the only way you should interfere and get involved to protect your friend, if she is crying to you and asking you to help her then yes as a friend protect her , but if he isn’t doing any of those things to her and is treating her with kindness and respect then you need to back off and let her figure out her own decision and choice on what she wants to do. You can tell her all the reasons she is wrong to be with this guy but I guarantee it’s going in one ear out the other if she keeps running back to this guy. So sadly you are best to just accept her decision even though you feel she is wrong. You can’t stop someone from liking someone else , She clearly likes this guy if she keeps going back to him , She probably enjoys the sex and the attention he is giving her. So until she comes crying to you saying he hurt her and is abusing her you are best to back off until then and watch this unfold

[boggboss]

I woukdnt care if thats what my friend decided people like to get involved in others relationships because they themself feel uncomftble

[Asker]

No i’m just not going to support it. that’s on her lol.

[boggboss]

So u are not going to support your friend because u and her dating requirements don't match up thats fine but it dont make u a good friend

[Asker]

You’re trying to be on of those manipulators😂 you obviously know the main reason i’m not supporting the RELATIONSHIP i mentioned everything. i’ll continue to hang out with her & such but i’m not going to keep texting you because you sound like a bit slow and a groomer yourself.

[boggboss]

Lol yes I'm a groomer of adults all u do by claiming she is getting groomed is that for a adult she is incapable of making adult choices meh

[ProbablyClueless]

It's definitely an odd look and a great way to get used, but your friend is an adult; she can make decisions for herself.

[Asker]

where did i say im controlling her lol

[ProbablyClueless]

Sorry, I wrote that kind of weird. What I meant was that the older guy is sometimes seen as controlling the younger woman. People sometimes assume that he's manipulating her because she's young and naive, but they forget that even if the woman is young; she's still legally an adult.

[Asker]

she is but it’s wrong there’s more to the story

[ProbablyClueless]

Oh okay. What's the controlling part?

[Asker]

i’m saying she can do whatever she wants i’m not controlling her i just won’t support it

[ProbablyClueless]

I know that. I"m asking if you think HE is controlling her.

[Asker]

yes he is she's always wanted kids later on and he changed her mind it seems like :/

[Billlewis]

Sounds like Anna Nicole Smith and that old fogie oil tycoon...

[Asker]

LOL i thought of her yikes

[Anonymous]

Not really caring, I'm no longer 22 but honestly if I was able to date an attractive 50 year old I would have and still would let's be honest

My friends parents were 17 and 44 when they started out now 49 and 76 with 22 and 12 year old kids

[Asker]

god forbid anything happened to him … it’s better to have a long lasting relationship meaning the other partner can live long too with you.. lol

[nastyb]

would you ever marry a senior citizen?

[Opinion Owner]

Marry, probably not but hey I probably won't marry anyone

[nastyb]

@Opinion owner

Exactly! If you're not willing to marry a senior citizen then what makes you think you would be happy being married to someone 20 to 30 years apart

Realize that most couples with large age gaps tend to have a bigger decline in marital satisfaction compared to couples more similar in age. Research has proven this. There are also higher divorce rates for large age gaps

[nastyb]

Just cuz things work when you're 25 and she is 45. It doesn't necessarily mean things will work when you're 45 and she's 65.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean I would marry someone born the same day as me either, I'm a cynic and marriage is a big one

[nastyb]

@Opinion owner

when your parents die, you will be left with no family. All your siblings / cousins are married off and have their own families to tend to. Leaving you all neglected and alone.

be careful about saying you never want to marry.

[Opinion Owner]

I've been alone most of my life so I'm just happy with money

[inhua]

it's only considered "grooming" when an ugly man tries to be a gentleman

[Asker]

looks don’t mean anything, you’re 27 right? you must not have kids, if i had a daughter i wouldn’t let her date someone her dad age regardless lol.

[inhua]

looks will always be important to humans. that's why our eyesight is our strongest sense by far, more so than our hearing, smell, taste and touch

you wouldn't call it grooming if you found the guy to be attractive

[Asker]

1. im saying it’s not the main aspect when you’re trying to be friends with someone at least i hope not.. we’re not on the same page lol. i’m not dating him so why would his looks matter to me.. try again with that comment LOl.

[Asker]

i’m friends with my cousin & friends boyfriend so that would be sad if i was was unfair to them based on their looks & not their character

[inhua]

you want your friend to think the same way you do about him. that's why his looks matter to you

you insinuated he knew the "right" words to say to her because if he were attractive, he wouldn't need to say any words

[Asker]

i dont care who my friend think look attractive or not why would i care what she thinks about looks 😂 y’all are weird LOL you’re another person i’m not talking to congrats

[inhua]

of course you don't care about her because you want to impose your belief system onto her

[Siochfhradha]

@inhua What gentleman? Or are you truly incapable of reading the entire post wherein the poster says that her friend is living in a cockroach invested house. Only a very simple minded moron would think this acceptable.

[Siochfhradha]

@inhua or worse insult men & specifically gentleman by referring to a pig as a man.