Objectively speaking, Are you stable enough to be in a Relationship or Do you have too much on your plate?

[pervertedjester]

No matter if you are or aren't single at the moment. If you're completely honest with yourself, Are you ready for love or in over your head?

Ready and Stable for Love!

Honestly, Too much on my plate at the moment.

A total of 46 votes were cast: 19 girls and 27 guys. See detailed results

[PragmaticProfit]

I posit that the human condition is intrinsically unstable, a perpetual odyssey of self-discovery and growth. Certainly, some individuals may appear more poised than others, but the notion that we should only pursue romantic entanglements when entirely devoid of personal challenges is a fallacious one. My wife and I navigated through tumultuous times, punctuated by fervent disagreements, as we grappled with deep-seated emotional scars. However, our metamorphosis from egocentric attitudes to ones of altruism paved the way for a harmonious union. This profound transformation was catalyzed by our embrace of Christianity and the dedication of our lives to Christ's teachings. I believe a prevalent impediment in contemporary relationships is the rampant self-centeredness; such inwards focus invariably sows the seeds of discord and tumult. We each carry our burdens and imperfections. The true essence of companionship lies in finding someone whom you can uplift, and who, in turn, serves as a beacon, guiding you through life's inevitable ebbs and flows.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Marriage vows are traditionally written around the idea that you stay with a partner even in the hardest of times, be it financially, emotionally, or medically. Anyone who cannot give that level of commitment, is not ready for a relationship.

There is no such thing as "Too much on your plate to be in a relationship".

There is however such a thing as "too much on your plate to be alone".

[Sweetsurprize]

Even regardless of what I say, it always takes two unfortunately to make something beautiful such as a loving, lasting, supportive and REAL relationship to work.

Not just that, but people of all ages get into relationships/marriages for all kinds of reasons (she got pregnant, he needs a green card, lonely in jail, etc.).

I think yeah, if I only met the right one (and THEY thought I was the right one), I think I could very well make it work. I just need to earn enough though first, before I truly take on the responsibilities of a spouse and mother.

[CatVader]

high earning isn't really something a man values in a women though.. it's more like an icing..
be aware of the wall... it's a real thing

[Sweetsurprize]

@CatVader First, I'll have you know that men don't hold the power when it comes to my happiness.

Second, if men are THAT shallow/superficial as to WITHOLD love just because of a woman's age, then I can LIE to them. After all, I DO look great for my age. In fact, I don't look my age at all. If I were to say to my date that I was 29, he wouldn't hesitate to believe me.

Third, it IS about money in this day and age. Without it, or without MUCH of it, you will really feel the struggle, not just to survive but to be happy and healthy! And/or at least live comfortably well into old age.

Fourth, if I want children that badly, with my money, I can just soon as afford to go to a sperm bank and PICK the best one out there, the most handsome (in my eyes) and smatest and healthiest with good genes. I'M TIRED of men holding the cards to a marriage and "LOVE". I've been in plenty of bad, dead-end relationships to know that it's not worth it anymore in my opinion. At least that is how I am feeling right now. The sad part is I'm not even ugly. I consider myself a beautiful Asian and Feminine lady. I may just be going after THE WRONG dudes, that's all and that is WHY I have been having trouble. BUT! After my last one that didn't work with an overweight, arrogant prick of a white dude, then no more! I am going to go at this mother thing ALONE! I don't care if I NEVER get married! That's not the purpose of life anyway. The purpose is to survive and reproduce! At least I'll be doing THAT! No where in biology textbooks say that women and men have to get married. Sure, it WAS a dream of mine, but you're right. At this rate, I don't care about getting married anymore. Why should I if all of my attempts so far at finding a good, supportive and kind man, have been futile! At least with my money in the bank, I can USE that to go to a sperm bank like I said and get my beautiful son or daughter or TWINS like my 48 y. o. aunt had done in 2012!

[CatVader]

yea well. it's not about men holding the power to anything. it's about being realistic with your goals.
just letting you know, that your money is not a mans money.
so mentioning that as a value isn't what most men would think of.. and if they did they probably would be just gold diggers..
besides..
money in this day and age isn't a good standard for a good future, since we live in global hyper inflation. they can still be used but, it isn't a long term savings.

a sperm bank can't cure the wall. so if your goal IS to have babies, then it would be a consideration. if not. alright no problem. you do you. but seems like you ARE looking for someone to settle down with or at the very least settle down with yourself.
waiting too long is not gonna be without issues. it's the reason it is called the wall.

why you haven't been successful in finding someone I don't know, only thing i can say is, it takes 2. Most guys are invisible to women.. and women seem to be far more attracted to liars and cheaters than someone who is more supportive.
privately I gave up on that game. Used to dream of it when i was a kid, but I'm done.

sure it doesn't say in any biology text book anything about marriage, however it is a moral standpoint that is beneficial to us as human beings on this planet.
happy couples growing old together doesn't come out of a biology textbook either.

hope you find a good way to do your life.
God bless.

[Sweetsurprize]

@CatVader yea well. it's not about men holding the power to anything. it's about being realistic with your goals.} It is. You do know it's a PATRIACHIAL society right? Who is the one who usually proposes to a woman? It's the man. Who is the one who usually has to give the green light if she wants a baby? Her partner, aka, a man (usually).

And yes, if worse comes to worse and I am not as fertile as my aunt, then I can do either surrogation or adopt, no problem. Maybe I'll get someone from a third world country or something, they're usually cheaper, but I really would like to try at least once. My aunt did this in her late forties like I said, and thankfully for her and her second husband, it worked for them.

{just letting you know, that your money is not a mans money.} Not sure why you had to mention this. I never said it was? If I do ever get married and we open up a joint account, THEN sure, I don't mind doing that, especially if it's to benefit us as a family. It's just common sense really, or logic as I like to put it.

{money in this day and age isn't a good standard for a good future, since we live in global hyper inflation. they can still be used but, it isn't a long term savings.} Yeah I agree. I think assets like real estate and gold, silver, stocks (if played right and/or lucky) can be a good bet. However, money is STILL universally accept at this point in time, so..

[Sweetsurprize]

{but seems like you ARE looking for someone to settle down with or at the very least settle down with yourself. waiting too long is not gonna be without issues. it's the reason it is called the wall.} The wall is called MENOPAUSE, and again, where are you getting that I am still trying to find someone? Lol, maybe that's just wishful thinking on your part. That I'm still that average lady who wants that "dream life with Ken and the picket fence" lol. How insulting.

{why you haven't been successful in finding someone I don't know, only thing i can say is, it takes 2} Yes, you didn't need to paint the obvious with that either.

{Most guys are invisible to women.. and women seem to be far more attracted to liars and cheaters than someone who is more supportive} I wasn't, but maybe it's because the liars and cheaters are VERY good at manipulating women and over promising, etc. and women, with their eye on the prize (marriage and babies), WILL fall for it, in the hopes that this Mr. Mcdreamy IS who he says he is. Not the woman's fault if that's the case. Her tender heart just led her sadly to the wrong ones.

[CatVader]

no. the wall is not called meno pause.
meno pause is the end of the line.
the wall is 30-32ish when it starts to get complicated going through pregnancy, it's where children will be born weaker and where the chances of having a bad labor is much higher.
age is not nice, especially towards women. that's just nature. lying about it is not helpful to anyone and money won't do ziddly squad about it.
right now though this isn't even a discussion anymore since you started playing the blame game. good luck with that.

my take on it with whom women generally are attracted to is, that women in general over shoot how valuable they themselves are in a relationship and will aim higher than what they really should if they are being realistic. so going for the alpha who don't want them over someone lower ranked.
hypergami is a thing.
this isn't just a one way thing were you can blame men for everything.

but you do you. good luck with that

[Sweetsurprize]

Why are you telling ME when it's a discussion and when its' not? Who died and made YOU boss of me? ! Lol, and I WILL in fact go ahead with life as happy and as healthily as I can, no thanks to you. And wtf, who am I BLAMING? ? ! Dude, make more sense will you? !

Also, I never said hypergamy wasn't a thing, but I don't think it's a common thing. If it was, I wouldn't see people being married 30 , 50s years plus! Also, that's up to the person, why are you on my case about it as if I'm trying to be practice that stuff? ! Stop being delusional. Take your meds for once lol.

I feel like you're one of those a-holes who just want to try to be right at whatever and whoever. You're this closed-minded bloke who doesn't listen to reason. I've seen REAL LIFE women give birth in their late 40's into their 50's and the child's turned out just fine, you're just trying to be an ass. I've also seen some women in their 20's-30's give birth to retarded children and/or those with birth defects like autism and low IQ or schizophrenia. Of course it's more common as someone ages but you act like men age like wine when they don't! Lol, keep dreaming and stop projecting your wishful thinking onto me! I've got nothing to DO with what other women want and I don't care! I'll have my baby either through surrogation, adopt or whatever so I don't know what you're trying to get at anyway..

Plus, the wall.. who CARES about the wall as long as I've taken myself out of the damn dating and relationship game anyway. I'll raise my son or daughter with better morals than you'll ever have.
Look, I don't know what you are trying to accomplish being hateful and negative like my ex. Does it make you FEEL better doing this to others you don't really know? ! Makes you feel like a bigger, better person? ! My god how sad.

[TheSpaceGnome]

There is no wall, the idea of "the wall" relies on the falsehoods that youth is lost at 30, or that all men want children.

Neither of those claims are true.

[Little_Bumblebee]

I honestly wouldn't have that much time for them right now.
I live in a city that's about... 170? km away from where I work. Which means I currently stay at my parents so I "only" have a 45 minute commute every day.

And about every other weekend I drive back to my own apartment and be with my friends.

So.. not that much time currently.
I'm looking into getting a better job with a much better location though

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am very stable in relationships, I am hard to get but once you get me, I am very stable.

[provokeesmokee]

I'm still getting used to my new apartment, my somewhat new job, and trying to get my routines and habits cleaned up so I don't have to think about it too much.

I'm too busy and too focused on making my own life more optimized to date someone else right now.

I'd rather not get distracted. I would love more fuck buddies though.

[Hawkes_Lady]

I am ready, very steady, and dependable. I don't trust easily, but once you've earned my trust I am yours and yours alone, but if you hurt me or cheat on me, I am out. I am done and you'll be gone.

[CatVader]

Everyone has problems..
So I guess with the right woman in the right circumstances.
it isn't just love it is also a partnership, that demands sacrifice and gives boons.

[Sasha0426]

Yeah, but it wouldn’t be fair to your partner because you would be dragging them through your mess. And I wouldn’t want to do that to my future partner.

[CatVader]

@Sasha0426 it goes both ways. in a partnership, both have problems and both help fix them. it can be mutually beneficial...
but totally get you, since I've soloed for a decade+
basically cause i can't afford a wife.
have you seen idiocracy the movie?

[Sasha0426]

No I haven’t

[CatVader]

@Sasha0426 you can look up the introduction to idiocracy on youtube. it explains the point quite well.

[Sasha0426]

I looked it up. I guess I kinda get it.

[inked2014]

Too old , too broke, no looks, no figure, too fat, low paying job, drive a piece of shit car, home needs a lot of work, nothing to offer except a sad story and a long way to go. This is why I am single.

[serious]

I am stable but I never want to be in love or relationships by choice. Yes there are reasons for that.

[rosemilk]

i've been in a stable relationship for over 7 years so i'd say so

[Monalisa77]

Ready for something slow and getting to know someone

[MissBoogus]

I don’t understand having too much on your plate, it’s just another reason to find a partner so you don’t have to go through any hard times alone ❤️

[Saramad_Hill]

My mental health is garbage and I would simply self sabotage if I thought anyone was too good for me. I don't need to put someone through that. I've been told I'm unfit to date in this current state. Unfortunately I can't really axe the pining to find a partner again, it's so rare.

[Sasha0426]

I’m not, honestly. I got too much baggage that I prefer to stay single. I would advise any guy to not date me for their sake.

[CatVader]

tough game..
on one hand, ones partner would need to have had it rough to understand what you go through if you had it rough..
on the other, they need to have gotten over the worst bumps and solved most of their dysfunctions before entering into a partnership..

so i think.
god bless.

[Sasha0426]

In my case, I don’t think anything got solved.

[CatVader]

are you familiar with ACA? (Adult Children of Alcoholics and other dysfunctional families)
it's a 12 step program for people who grew up in a dysfunctional household.

[Sasha0426]

No I’m not familiar with that.

[CatVader]

I send you a pm

[OddBeMe]

🎵 Are you stable for love? Oh baby are you stable for love!

[rshsjsj]

I have too much on my plate but will be in a relationship in 5 years time!

[andreasderjuengere]

I'm stable enough for TWO relationships :D

[clampfan101]

I’m ready to get warmed up.

[Imsmurter1]

About as ready as I’ll ever be just too shy