She just got a second job a month ago and that's causing some stress with her personal life. This month she has been on the quieter side because of that. she usually pulls inward for a couple days when overwhelmed. 2 weeks ago, she texted me saying, "I love you, I miss you, I'm so sorry it's like this". We chatted that night and the next couple nights too. She said she missed my touch, feels so safe and loved with me. She even said next time can we take pictures together just cuddling together.
Few days later I asked if her son was sick and she said no just crabby, I don't blame him, I am too. After that is when she secluded again for a few days until I asked last Saturday and said I miss her. She responded with I'm so sorry I'm being so terrible to you right now in every aspect, all of this family stuff, new work, etc, I'm not handling it well. I respond supportive and then she sends me a screenshot of family being irate with her. That night sent me "I've been belittled and yelled at all day. I've been walking on eggshells and anxious as fuck to be in my own home. I fucking hate this I just want to hide.
I am supportive, and I didn't hear anything else. Yesterday, I text her after giving space how she was doing and I was here for her if and when she needed it an there's no pressure. She says its been really bad plus she fucked up her car and that her nervous system messed up. And then she sends me a random recording of her and her family member's conversation they had that morning (tbh it didn't shed good light on her, like everything she said was gaslighting) .
Next she says "Just try to forget about us (her and son), I'm in a worse place financially than when I met you and we won't be able to move out soon. I'm sorry." I said oh, like I've said before that doesn't matter to me and, Ill never forget about you. But I will respect your wishes, I hope you find happiness somewhere, you deserve it" And she replies like Thanks for the kind words I hope I find it too.
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Dude I think your issue here is that you're letting this cycle with her continue instead of putting a stop to it. It's obvious she's going through a lot of stressful stuff right now and isn't really in a good place for a relationship. But she keeps pulling you back in when she's feeling down and missing you, only to push you away again when she's overwhelmed. That's not fair to you. You said it yourself - it's making you feel anxious not knowing what's gonna happen next. She'll just keep doing this to you as long as you let her. Deep down I think you know the only way to break the cycle is to block her for good and go no contact. As hard as that might be. She's never actually gonna be able to commit to you fully until she gets her own stuff figured out. And being strung along in between isn't good for your mental health either. You deserve to be with someone who's stable and can treat you right. I know it'll suck at first, but you gotta rip the bandaid off and stop letting her come back when it's convenient for her. Show her and yourself that you respect yourself enough not to be an option she can toy with. Might be the push she needs to fix her own mess too. You got this man!
Just dump her, you don't have to wait for anything.