He’d been out of a divorce just under a year (told me it had been a year which was a lie) then I sensed that things weren’t right after 14 months so I asked if he wanted to end it and he said he’s not ready for the commitment I need despite leading me to believe he was all along. Said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and wasn’t looking to date anyone else as it wouldn’t be fair.
Then 2 months post breakup after I finally cut contact he wants to meet up again. Another guy was hitting on me but I said I didn’t want to date anyone.
Then 3 months after our breakup he’s with someone else. Was it just a lie all along or not?
I’d love to hear thoughts from a guys perspective and preferably guys with real experience of relationships too as that does provide more insight more often than not. Thanks 😊
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
2-3 months is enough time to heal and move on for most people. I just think it's hasty to do so but if I like someone I surely give it a try.
I had heartbreak and then I thought I will not talk to anyone and finally back in 2019 just 2 months later I found someone interesting. Still, girls were immature so they beat around the bush a lot. I don't like games now. Heartbreaks can be hard to deal and I think you need to stop wasting your time on someone who hasn't shown you interest for like the past 14 months. In 14 months, you can easily move on.
If a guy is with someone else after turning you down, it clearly means he never saw you as relationship potential. What I don't understand is if it was worth mentioning if another guy was hitting on you is relevant to the break up with the other guy. If someone is interested in you, I don't think you should leave that opportunity.
Maybe your not over the other guy but I suppose you should move on from someone who wasn't even honest with you for such a long time. It's a personal insult for me if a girl didn't choose me and then very next week went out with someone else. Learn to let it go. It will help your mind. If you as a woman is acting like there is no one else especially since there is someone showing interest in you then you are looking for regret since God has probably sent someone your way to heal your heart and care for your soul.
Seems you are valuing someone who doesn't care for you over someone who might.
Ask yourself the right question, do you want someone who loves you back? Or someone who you try to show your love but isn't available? It's best to close that chapter while you can. Time will heal you but if you're going to stuck up then max you will be to the first guy is just his side chick who will take advantage of you but not make a happy family.
As a man, I would strongly advise against going for a guy. You have done enough by waiting for 14 months for a single man. Accept that it's not going to happen and the more you think about it the more it will hurt you and break you and probably make you think you are not good enough for anyone. Don't break your own soul like this. Talk about a love triangle. Don't just think about your heart. Think about others too. You feel like you are thinking about that guy and being selfless here but this is just selfishness disguised in love. You want someone you can't have unless you have him at gun point 😅. Don't force love please. All these signs you have written show how much you are still not over this guy when you should be especially since he got someone else.
You are too old to be waiting on someone now. It's going to feel bitter but you seem like someone with a noble soul and bit naive and innocent like a 20year old girl. Please don't waste yourself on someone who doesn't reciprocate.
😅 I want to tell you a love storya short parable. So, there is fisherman who loves a potter's girl for whom he brings fish 🐟 everyday for food. One day he doesn't find the fish and he brings her his thigh meat minced and disguised to be made as kebabs. The girl while eating the kebabs tells him, hey these taste funny, I don't like them what is it.
He shows her what he did and she starts crying.
Thing is you are waiting for a fish who swam away when you probably have someone like the fisherman who will give you a fish everyday. I imagine you are tremendously hurt. 14 months is nothing. If you lost someone you loved after just a day you might cry out rivers of tears. But is it worth it? You are feeling less self esteem if you are waiting around on a taken guy. Thing is he can be your neighbor now but don't even think about anything more for him. Otherwise he will just use you and the end won't be good.
Remember that you are not the bad person. All these heart breakers try to guilt trip people like us into thinking we did something wrong but no we didn't. Don't fall for the trap. Loving someone isn't a crime. You did the right thing to show your intentions in a good way. Those who don't, really don't know how to love truly. So, don't be sad but be content you gave someone yourself and you didn't do anything wrong here.
I was definitely not over it after 3 months but I was in love. I was just hurting a lot less, although still hurting quite a bit.
Hey, you loved him. Don't be hard on yourself. Anyone who wants you now must accept this reality that you always had a hole in your heart from your past, you gave your heart to someone and he dropped it. I know for sure if someone thought they can easily fill my heart and make me forget someone then they would not succeed as well.
Loving and praying are two things that need patience. It's not like you can force someone to love you. Same way please meditate. Are you Christian? Go to the Church. Try to be close to God :)). There are always people you can talk here as well.
I don't know you but please don't let this heart break eat you from the inside. God gave you health. Do you have parents? Be grateful for them. They love you too. I tell you this because my heart was also broken by my crushes long time ago. I don't want you to go through with this.
It won’t, I’m old and wise enough to avoid that. But I will take time to heal first so I can give all to the next person.
Please, you are not old but you are wise indeed. I am happy I didn't break someone's heart. And it seems you won't either. Come to think of it. How come you are so sweet and yet you haven't married?
It's souls like yours that I connect with instantly. I wish alas. I don't want to tell you but she is hurt just like you. I wish she accepts me. I don't want to loose her. I don't play games with her. It's just this world is really hard. I also got out of engagement and it took me 4 months. Healing is slow process. But remember that the one you long for might not be as good as you are hurt from not being able to have him.
3 months is a very long break between relationships.
Not really. Depends how long you were together and how in love etc.