Should I stay with my boyfriend or go abroad and be in a long distance relationship?

Question

I applied to a student exchange program 8-9 months ago before I met my boyfriend. I got in and I will be leaving the country for 5 months in a month. We have been living together for 2 months now. I'm afraid that we are gonna break up when I'm away, I love him so much. Should I give up on the program? He thinks that we are gonna have problems due to jealousy regardless of trusting each other and eventually we'll fall apart. What would you do? I'd be happy to receive honest opinions.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for 4 years with a 15-hour time difference before.

If the relationship is dear to you, and you truly see a future together, I’d stay together.

Yes, it’ll take a lot of work. But, if you both want it badly enough, you’ll both put in the effort to make things work.

Now, if one or both of you aren’t 100% sure you want to commit to an LDR, then it is what it is.

Only the most promising of relationships are worth the effort of an LDR.

If you both feel like your relationship IS truly promising, then I’d say you two work something out and commit to keeping your LDR alive, no matter the distance.

It’s different if the connection and depth is mediocre.

But, in my opinion, if there is true connection and true depth to a relationship, distance should not be enough of a reason to break up.

MikeTheBartender · Accepted Answer

There's so much wrong with this. I don't know where to start, you moved in with less than 5 months of dating? You also are thinking about going into the program? If he was truly the one, this would not be an issue, either you would quit the program or he would be moving with you. People that are truly there for each other. Are there 100%. Neither of you are truly not there 100%.

You are also very young, either of you will find other lovers in your life and have a great time. However, the chance to move abroad for 9 months is rare, few and far people get to do it. I would seriously weigh out the issue of the relationship and decide if you want to give this up for him. I don't believe in long distance relationships, so if you do do that a broad study, I think it would be best to end the relationship.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

if he is afraid of jealousy... what are you even doing together? Where is trust the most important element of any relationship?

I would go. If you both put in enough effort, these 5 months will pass fast, and your relationship will be stronger than ever. But if it breaks, it means it wasn't as strong as you thought.

I wouldn't give up such an opportunity to broaden my horizons.

Bethany22 · Accepted Answer

If you start revolving your life around him as though you're already married, then he's never going to propose to you. It's better to leave for a while while he still thinks that you're special. Then when you come back, you'll have more value to him as you will have shown that you can easily live without him.

Anonymous · Answer

It's time to pack your bags and go. You applied to the program months ago because I'm sure you wanted an adventure, to learn about new people, experience another culture, and you should go and do just that because it is an absolute opportunity of a lifetime that may never come your way again. Don't live to regret not going! It's five months, not forever. If someone who claims to love you cannot handle just five months away even with face time, texts, and all the tech that connects us, maybe it wasn't meant to be. You either trust one another or you don't, and if neither of you has given the other reason not to trust them, then there should be no problem with you being apart and he should be supportive of you living this dream out.

Valdemort · Answer

Please don't give up on something you've been working for, for the sake of another person. Regardless of how much you love them.
If he's the right person, he'll understand.
If he doesn't understand, he's not the right person. That too will save you a lot of trouble.

sheikalana · Answer

You should never put your plans aside for a partner especially at your age. I don't usually encourage long distance relationships but in your case Five months is not a long time at all. Nowadays is so easy to keep in touch there's internet and video calls. If you both are really invested in the relationship you'll make it work.

JacobJordan · Answer

Not that simple is it. Answer the following and you will know what is right. Do you see yourself with him in 5 years? Do you see yourself enjoying your life if you don't go? Do you see yourself with him in 10 years? If you don't go would you regret it? If you did go would you really want him to wait for however long for you to come back? Would you do the same? Would that be fair to either of you? Good luck regardless and know that whatever you chose you made the right choice

DextroShade · Answer

Long-distance is a joke, if you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with this guy then you need to put your man before stupid feminist things like studying abroad. If you don't think he's more important to you than school then go ahead and ride the cock carousel around the globe. You can always buy a dog when you get back

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I think you guys should talk about it and go over all of the pros and cons on each side. But if you love him, you need to make sure to make absolutely clear to him that you are not abandoning him. And be sure to keep in touch with him on a daily basis while you are away. (This is extremely important!)

Anonymous · Answer

Going abroad especially for educational purposes is a sweet opportunity. Not many gets the chance to explore other countries. But on the other hand, you just got into a serious relationship and I completely understand both of your concerns but ultimately I think you should go. It's a great opportunity and if he really loves you he would support you and let you go. If your love can't survive five months apart then is it really love?

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Why on earth would you live with a guy you aren't wvn married too or engaged. This is crazy I really don't understand this generation.

exitseven · Answer

Five months is not the end of the world. You will never get this opportunity again. You should go and maybe he can come for a visit sometime.

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

your choice but ldr rarely work out long term. best to separate and try again after you've returned and if your both single.

GWolcott · Answer

I wouldn’t have a relationship abroad it only because it hard to be in a long distance relationship with a partner

CharlotteNoivern · Answer

If he is unwilling to let you go for while then he's not worth keeping but what do you want to do

jaskin777 · Answer

Trust is very important  But ur school is to  He can't cling to ur side 24/7  So if ur having trust issues now  Highly advised u to fix em

Jkgordon · Answer

No way! Take care of yourself and if it’s meant to be it will be. Who knows you might find true love your twin flame by going abroad.  Go!

Staximus · Answer

I don't know why the hell you would start living with a guy when you know you're going away

hello_there___ · Answer

I dont think its a problem to be in distance relathionship for 5 months. The real question is: Do you need him? Or does he need you? If u really like each other it won't be a problem

RingOfFire · Answer

It's high risk, he might be right, but if it is strong enough it can survive 5 months apart. It's not that long.

Roudyrebel8 · Answer

I'd go and hopefully y'all make it but I'd take the opportunity

lightbulb27 · Answer

get married and communicate.

RedInnocent68 · Answer

At your age? Have a nice trip!

Should I stay with my boyfriend or go abroad and be in a long distance relationship?

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